Firstly, I know GenO's front brake cable is too short. Ordinarily it's run motorcycle style, but we switched it so that we didnt have any OTB misshaps while skidding around the warehouse, making bald spots on his rear tire.

Secondly, in preparation for the death march that Sunday's nice hair ride will most assuredly be, The Skipper has jumped head first into the Carmichael Training System.

Not Chris Carmichael.. His cousin Daryl.

He knows way more about training and stuff than Chris does.

One thing that Daryl definitely knows is that when more than five people assimilate on bicycles, it doesn't mean that it's a race.

This point being missed by more than just a few in regards to Sunday's event.

As I've replied to many individuals regarding Sunday's 'race'- There will be many more opportunities for us to prove our mediocrity, and perceived self worth as bicycle 'racers' in the coming months, however the 'Joe Parkin-has-nice-hair and-wrote-a-book-about-it ride' is not such an occasion.

Now then.. Are you sitting down?
Do you have a drink in your hand?
Is there anything sharp nearby?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, then you are ready to read this bit that Brett just sent to me.
If however, you answered no to any of them, do what it takes to make it so.

"PRESS RELEASE VH1/Viacom Corp. For Immediate Release Jan. 12, 2009

New Season of Rock of Love to Feature Metal Legend Glenn Danzig.

VH1 announced today that producers are now filming a new season of Rock of Love featuring metal/punk/horror-core legend, Glenn Danzig. The new show, which will premiere this July, is called "Rock of Love: Bride of Satan with Glenn Danzig." Danzig is well-known in metal and punk circles as one of the founding members of 1980s horror-core punk rockers Samhain. He went on to the form hard-rock band Danzig, which scored several top 40 hits in the late '80s including "Mother" and"She Rides."

*Danzig, pictured here with that guy from Mr. Show who's name I can never remember.*

Both a singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist, Danzig is also well-known for his interest in the occult and all things evil. VH1 producers stated that introducing the element of Satanism would inject new life into the Rock of Love franchise as well as reach a different audience niche -- jokingly referred to by insiders as "the black market." The new series will follow the traditional Flavor of Love/Rock of Love format with a group of 20 women vying for the affection of the celebrity musician. However, at the insistence of Mr. Danzig, the winner will enter into a legally-binding marriage with Satan in a ceremony that is sure to test the limits of basic cable censorship standards. Although network executives are keeping a tight lid on the show's planned shennanigans, a few details have been leaked about planned challenges."

Are you sitting slack jawed, staring at your computer screen right now?

...Cause I am.

I don't know where to go from here.
I'm kinda in a daze.

Um.. Lets go to the mail bag, I guess.

Long time commenter, Gastonomicus Fantz Crazznapper IV wrote in from Texas.

You know.. "Texas- The place I write snappy slogans for."

"Hey Stevil,

What do you want to know about Texas?
I've been living in Austin/Houston Texas a long time.
I might be able to point you in the right direction or help you find something.

This is me and mine, avoiding the bummer life last weekend.

Sincerely,
Gastonomicus Fantz Crazznapper IV"

Crazznapper carving frontside over a sweet little angel faced hobo.

I've mentioned a favorite old skateboarder here before that goes by the name of Garry Scott Davis.
I've even still got one of his tiny boards;

Anyhow, you see that cubby where the sweet little angel faced hobo is laying her head in Crazznapper's photo?
I think Garry used to live there.

At this time of the year we as cyclists set our sights on the impending Spring classics, including my favorite, as you all know- The Hell of The North.
Well, apparently inspired by the feats of 'the hard men', some Midwestern nutters have got their own kind of tribute cooking, a few of which have passed on the information for me to share.

D.J.J.M writes;

"Hey Stevil!

Starting Friday the 13th (of course) general registration for the 3rd edition of the Madison-Basco-Madison Spring Classic (The Hell Of The South this year) opened up to the teaming masses and I wanted to send you the flyer courtesy of Creepy Friendly hisself Jesse Lalonde.

Don't know if you want to put it up on Bummer Life or not but it's a damn purty piece of artwork if anything else.
And here's the link for the race info and kittens in general.

yee and ha. thanks fer doin' all the great work you do and for keeping we bike freaks entertained during the long hours of winter.

djonnymac"

You're welcome, and thank you.
Plus I'm not ashamed to mention that I've developed a man-crush on those Lalonde brothers over the last few years, and I think I can say with confidence that I'm not the only one.

Now then, if you strain your eyes out over the horizon, and perk your ears up real keen like, you might sense a rumbling. That ominous sound you feel is that of a brand new Bummer Life contest.
Last night I was looking through some random bicycle website or another and the moderator of said website was having a photo contest.
The photos contained therein were all poetic journeys through varying slices of bicycle commuterdom and what not.

"I'd like to have a contest like that" I said to myself, "but I want photos that are not only about bicycles, but that contain oh, so much more."
Would you like an example, perhaps?
How about this one from GenO at OneonOne;

But no need to use this one as a template.
I want fresh eyes looking through fresh cameras, shooting fresh images of sexy, sassyness. Images that conjure up the spirit of the ride as well as the headache the next day.
I want fire works and bare backs.
I want rope swings and wool socks.
I want blood and love and boys and girls and grilled cheese sandwiches and rock and roll hijinx galore.

What do you get for your efforts, you ask?

Well, aside from having your name in lights, I'm willing to part with one of my very most prized possessions;

You see, Ive only worn this t-shirt a couple of times, (one of which I jumped on Robert Ives' back, and was then pushed through a plate glass window) but it was enough to change the color of the collar to a pleasant yellow hue, and then for me to realize that it was a little too small, the first of which was awesome, but the second of which was heart breaking.

So aside from the shirt, I'm also willing to part with a real honest to goodness brand new Swobo t-shirt that I haven't stained with my personal biology, so as of right now the ball is in your court.

And not that I want to see any photos like the following one, but it does give me the opportunity to show you my Thurday morning commute;

At any rate, I'm sitting here waiting to be dazzled, and I know you all, the inspired group that you are, are ready to do the dazzling.

All entries will be posted on our Flickr page for everyone to see.

Now then my friends, the clock starts now.

Well, the weekend is upon us, and on Monday I'll either have a full report and a bunch of shots of happy, dry, bike riding people, or a full report and like, two shots of Joe, Complayna and me standing in the mud.
At this point it's anybody's guess.

To wrap up today's post, it is with a heavy heart that I announce this week's Friday Hero.

Ben Davis, maker of my very most favorite brand of pants as well as other various articles of work wear, died on Friday after a long battle with Parkinson's disease.

Go with God, Mr. Davis. Without the likes of you and Swobo, I would be naked, and I can guarantee that nobody would want that.

Have a great weekend everybody.
As always, the time for now is NOW.