It was a sorely needed break, and lucky for us we had the chance to do it. Unlucky for us, the ride occurred a bit too soon after a fat lunch of bacon burgers, so just as I was putting the screws to The Skipper, our lunches began putting the screws to us, which resulted in a mid-ride rest;

Which had us seeing a whole lot of this;

Not a bad way to spend the afternoon, if you ask me.

Eric from Ground Up Designs got ahold of us to let us know about the newest wave in the world of hand made bike shows- The Rocky Mountain Bicycle Show.

"hey man---

im displaying 5 of my bikes at this and giving a seminar on how to modify pixies for competition. i cant wait to see reaction from the boulder crowd. its gonna be silly but i have serious track racing stuff to back it all up.

oh and i cut my own hair earlier tonight. it is now short and dark blue. i got a matching dark blue suit for the show too...like a comic book politition.

eric."

Its good that Eric has some serious track racing stuff too, cause you know.. In Boulder they take racing seriously.
Seriously serious.

JRW, the individual to whom I presented my laminated moustache, and who has signed up for the armed forces did me a solid and resent an email that Id received before but immediately lost. He writes;

"hey i think you let this one slip through the cracks. You said you'd put it up and i think you said something like danzig was being beaten to death by bacon in new york and you had to bring equilibrium to the universe again and various other things to attend to. Either way i know that you didn't not want to put this on so here you go... these are what my life has amounted to up until now. By the way this is probably my last dispatch before i go off to boot camp. starting Monday its all about folding underwear right and getting yelled at but then i get to run nuclear reactors. Seriously. anyway enjoi.

John"

You know how your teacher made you write a paper about your summer? well this is my free form attempt. These pictures will make you laugh and make you cry but reassure you that the Bummer Life was avoided for one more summer. Peeps this shit;

Picture #1
I went to the Indy 500 and this was the random that i saw walking around. Notice the mustache. (Editors note- never trust a man with a moustache, hillside strangler glasses and basketball shorts.)

Picture #2 and #3
These specimens of "awesome" were at a "custom" car show that for no rhyme or reason I was at. (Editors note- This what all cars look like in Sacramento/my truck looks like when Loudass rides in the back.)

Picture #4
Photo bombing - party requirement #12 (Editors note- When its hard to tell whos bombing who, is it truly a 'photo bomb'?)

Picture #5, #6, #7, and #8
The 2 mile Challenge crew came through town and this lady popped my Swobo cherry. Notice the smiles as the Folsom requires smiling and feeling like a kid and note my super hard core track stand. Yes my pockets match my shirt but the shirt was given to me by Mike Vallely and the pockets are handmade by yours truly. (Editors note- I have a tremendous crush on the entire '2 Mile Challenge' crew, and is it me, or in that last shot, does John look a little like a young Lee majors?)

Picture #9
This is the other roommate. I could state all the reasons why this picture is awesome but let that argument begin and end with the fact that there is a picture in the upper right hand corner of a women's naked bike race which I use to cover up a window so that I can walk around naked in my apartment. (Editors note- The only thing between my apartment walking nakedness and my neighbors bummed out eyes are my windows. Perhaps I should enlist a similar tactic.)

Picture #10
The next stop is the State fair. This is the hay bail beauty pageant. Much more hard core than those 4h'ers who compete in the jar of corn category. (Editors note- I never knew so much beauty could be contained within a block of grass.)

Picture #11
This is the lactation station for breast feeding. Even funnier is I have a shirt that says lactation Station Staff because my mom works at the Health Dept. and was in charge of one of the stations. (Editors note- I think Ive finally found my calling.)

Picture #12
If you drove a tractor you know you would drive this one. (Editors note- I do, and would most likely drive it to work at the lactation station.)

Picture #13
Alright I saved the best for last and this the closest I could get. Trust me i checked the whole barn and stepped in lots of pig shit for this one. Personally I think the last one was upside down. (Editors note- stepping in pig shit wouldnt have been an issue if youd only been wearing some $75.00 rubber boots.)

Picture #14
This is a 26" wheel bike. That makes this guys inseam gigantic. This guy should get the Bummer Life Avoidance Role Model of the year award. (Editors note- Life just hasnt been the same for him since the Bulls let Dennis Rodman go.)

Hope you liked all that. That just took me 2 hours because apparently I suck at HTML and got it all deleted.

Love John"

I did like that, and I trust all 15 people reading this did as well. Id also like to wish John well on the new chapter in his life, and I hope that it treats him well.

Its been a little while since weve featured a Friday Hero, and after trolling the internet for a suitable prospect I came across this guy.
Welcome totally-broken-ankle-guy to the esteemed list of Friday Heros.

Really, its the least we could do.

Bert from Oxygen Cycles wrote in to let us know that all is well (and evil) in his hood on the biodiversity front;

"aye, I was riding home from work and I noticed the phone number on this sign and I thought of you guys.

It's good to know someone important is in charge of looking after biodiversity in our area.

Bert"

The Devil wears many hats Bert. Many hats...

Ben wrote in with some fairly pressing news;

"Hey Stevil,

I saw this while avoiding.
I think bikes for animals is an untapped market, not to mention all the accesories.
If Swobo cultivates this idea I want my cut!

Thanks in advance.
Ben"

Ill just go ahead and get on record by saying that its absolutely no accident that the hecklers in this particular race are wearing orange jumpsuits.

Though its got nothing to do with monkeys on bicycles, in the literal sense, Lonnie wrote in with a heads up on what is my personal favorite bicycle of all time, as well as a link to some jackassery;

"Hey Stevil,
Thought you might enjoy a picture of my Eddy Merckx, outfitted in full CiTy BiLLy fashion.

We just had our fall classic, Schnoctobeerfest, a bike & beer buffet.
Saving the World One Beer at a Time,
eDLoNNiE"

One beer at a time, indeed.

Hey, for that matter, Im going to proudly announce that its been a week and a half since I boarded the sober train, and Im feeling just fine, thank you.

Staying away from bacon however is an entirely different matter, and is made even more difficult because of emails such as the one I received not once but twice on Wednesday;

Lucky writes;

"Mr.Stevil,

I, like many of your readers, share your penchant for all things bacon. It can be tough to get all the vitamin P(ork) you need in today's hustle and bustle world. Here are some tips for you and your readers that range from helpful to down right ingenious.

Lucky"

Just reading the list made my heart stop.

Now while it might seem based on the scribblings herein that I go overboard on the pink wonderousness, Id like it to be known that I am a die-hard subscriber to the 'all things in moderation, including moderation' method of living, and limit everything I consume or activities I partake in to reasonable, and responsible amounts.
Except sour Jelly Bellys.
I probably tend to go way overboard on those things...

You know, its totally Halloween today, and I thought you might like a preview of one of my costumes, shot by Hernando at this past weekends cross race;

Ironic beer delivery jacket? Check.
Studded belt on sideways? Check.
Tons of bandanas and other assorted hardware hanging from my person? Check.
Red, white and blue terry cloth wrist band? Check.
Ironic cop shades? Check.
T-shirt thats too small for me? Check.
Messenger bag with nothing in it but a helmet? Check.
Trucker hat sitting on my head 'just so'? Check.
Assortment of spoke cards? Check.
Pants borrowed from a girl that weighs approximately 70 pounds less than I do? Check and check.

I dont know if this will make the final cut, as I did such a spot on job nobody knew it was actually a costume.
In fact one fellow begrudgingly muttered to me in passing, "go back to The Mission..."
The only give away is that Im like, 100 years old.
Sadly, the only thing that was missing was my ironic moustache, but luckily I later found one of those on the counter at 7-11;

So anyway, heres to hoping that everyone eats their body weight in candy this weekend, and then goes to a party where a person in a big bear costume picks up on you and then takes their head off and theyre really hot, so you take a cab back to their place and you make out, but then after a while you remembered that you left your bike at the party, and you eventually make your way back there, but then you dont remember where your new friend lives, and you spend part of the night riding around wondering how you could be so dumb, so you go back to the party and do a jello shot that doesnt really taste like the color that it is. Like youre sitting there thinking, "if its an orange shot, then it stands to reason that it should taste like orange", and then you see these guys smoking pot in the corner and you remember a funny trick you played on your friend in high school, where you made yourself a piece of bread with peanut butter on it, but you scooped out a whole bottle of Carmex onto one corner and covered it up with the peanut butter, and you were eating the other part, and your stoned friend walked up and was super zoned out on you eating, so you offered him a bite, and then you took it back and had another bite, and then graciously offered him the rest of it, which he popped into his mouth in one bite, and then twisted his face into one of total horror, as he began bobbing around the kitchen going "Ohhaweeehhhh, Ohhhh..Ewwwwwwwwwwuhhhhh...!" and rubbing his tongue on his shirt sleeve.

We hope you have a Halloween like that.