Rocky laid that first one on us, which is awesome, and then El Pirata Grande came along with this. I now present to you the 'uniporn';

Yeah yeah.. I like Danzig, Bacon, moustaches, blablabla.. But what you didnt know about me is that Ill crap a rainbow for a unicorn.
Speaking of El Pirata Grande, he just wrote the feature article about this thing that the kids are doing called 'single speed mountain biking'. I know it sounds crazy, but get this...these guys are actually riding regular mountain bikes, but with no shifters or derailleurs or anything on them...

No- in all seriousness, keep your eyes peeled for the new issue of Bike Monkey, and feast them on just about the most complete synopsis of this sorded wedge of the bike world to date.

I was fortunate enough to read the rough version and I dont think Rachel Lloyd or Carl Decker were mentioned once.

Say, did you all know that there are some Halloween alleycat races happening?
How about this one that Kurtz sent to us in Norfolk;

Or this selection I lifted from Hipster Nascar;

Ann Arbor,

Atlanta,

Taipei,

Indianapolis,

Dublin Ireland, (Rob, were looking at you to win this one.)

Berlin,

It kinda gives you the idea that this whole 'alleycat race' concept is kinda picking up a little bit of speed, doesnt it?

In a recent email from Ryan, he proved to me that hes got my back;

"I think you need these glasses to save time in applying the "black bar" to photos of yourself."

Dude.. I would be sooooo Van Nuys Blvd., circa 1983.

CFO, (Cody Fu*king Oats, dontchaknow?) sent this on to us with an email that simply stated "I have irrigating boots….they are black, covered in shit and cost 15 bucks."

Now working for Swobo, and under El Corpos guidance, I understand the actual cost of purchasing something made in China. Im very proud to work for a company who makes a good bit of what we produce domestically, and that that is not, is made by folks who are making a decent living wage.
But 75 dollars for a pair of rubber boots?
Holy mother of god..
But then again, Im enough of a gear whore that if I actually had $75.00 to burn, Id probably buy myself a pair. Hell, for that matter Id buy The Skipper and 6'7" a pair, and then wed go wage war on one another with our soft pellet guns.
Happy...
In the mud....
In our 75 dollar rubber boots...

One from Sky;

Its funny cause its true.

Captain Dave of the Evil Squad wrote in with a short version of what happened this past weekend, and a long version of what happened this past weekend;

"First, I send you the General Lee and you do not use it on htatbl. (Editors note- I have no idea what hes talking about.) But now, NOW, I send you a picture of such importance, that you simply must use it in your next outpouring of unique drivel.

It's 4:24, and I've opened my first Hamm's.

This is me, racing in Astoria, in the Cross Crusade in Oregon. The funnier bit was that my woman dressed up like Danny Cheever. Jumpsuit, wig, drunk, violent, grabbing folks' stuff. It was beautiful.

But my costume was way fucking better.

You're a dick.

This weekend was Halloween racing, observe my write up here."

It should be noted that while Dave and I have had a long and tumultuous relationship, weve only actually laid eyes on one another one single time, and as time goes by, I realize thats this is probably for the best.

On the day we met, it was everything we both could do to not punch each other in the face, and then fall down on the sidewalk crying, wrapped up tight in a warm embrace.

He has that effect on people.

Pusherman Terry who supplies us with our fix kindly sent a flyer for a throwdown theyre getting ready to have at their digs in Idaho;

"Idaho'?.. No way man.. you da ho.

If youre light on costume ideas, why not take a hint from Hurl, and go as a cop with a droopy moustache.

I like emails like these-

"Yo Stevil....longtime reader, second-time emailer (there is a picture of me and Danzig on yr site, from a couple months back)....anyway,
I figure with yr fondness for facial hair, you could maybe give my blog a bump:

Draw Tom Skerrett

pretty self explanatory...the more submissions, the more likely a CEASE AND DESIST....which would rule!!!!!!!

pedal on bro!!"

You had me at 'Danzig'.. really now folks, why dont you get your pens and pencils busy and contribute to my man. Think of it like a 'Make-a-Wish-Foundation' for a derelict.

One of my compatriots over there on GWCTOH, has got some action cooking that hes in the process of blowing up, and considering that were both holding down in the same proverbial trench, I thought it was only right to give him some props here.
Open your eyes and prepare to take in the 'Empire' teaser;

Prollys one of the hardest working souls in the business.

DPow! wrote to us;

"Its gettin cold up here, so well, you know we burn stuff...."

You know, 'Golfclap' out there in Boulder (where they take racing seriously) probably wouldnt approve, so in light of that, I just have to say 'keep up the good work.'

Barry also wrote to us;

"I meant to send you some Wisco updates earlier, but thats the thing about knocking yourself out... you forget stuff."

B"

Its a good thing that Barry had some duct tape to hold his face together or else he would have looked really tore up.

You know, its at this point in the post that I once again have to make a plea to the ladies that read this thing- (and I know youre there. I get emails from you periodically, and I see that were linked on various other blogs which are operated by the fairer sex)- Please, for the love of all that it right and just- send me race reports, hijix reports, ride reports, UFO sightings, tell me about the dream you had last night about being late for your flight aboard a plane that was made of summer sausage.. You name it, I need it.
Dont get me wrong.. Its not that I dont love hearing from the 'dudes'. I cherish any time I get to spend looking at a photo of Barrys busted mug for example, but as Ive mentioned here before, sometimes this thing just tends to spiral into a bit of a 'boys club', and frankly, thats kind of boring.

So ladies, whachugot?

So anyway- speaking of UFOs, Newt sent this bit of gold in;

-Obviously it wasnt a real heavy news day there in Chicago.

On that note, Im going to bid a fond farewell.
Its Wednesday and there are bikes to be ridden, and sins against humanity to commit.
You all are with me, right?