First up, a rare, and always appreciated correspondence from The Bike Snob;

"(...By the way), yesterday I didn't have my camera on me, and I've never regretted anything more.

(Editors note; Due to The Snobs cameralessness, Ive added liberties to the email by including a selection of my own visuals.)

I was riding down 7th Avenue in Manhattan and in front of me is a guy on a bike wearing a "True Norwegian Black Metal" t-shirt (this message on the back) as well as a full black outfit including the Kerry King from Slayer circa 1986 spiked leather wrist gauntlet. But he's also riding a Schwinn Varsity really, really cautiously and he's wearing a white Giro helmet with visor. Not only that, but he's hand signalling. Not like the quick flick of the wrist to let someone know what you're doing, but full-on school-field-trip-to-Safety-Town hand signals. Like I'm riding behind him and he does the signal for "stop" as he stops at the red light with the very arm gauntlet is on. It was an absolutely stunningly surreal. I've never seen anything like it.

So don't let anyone tell you metalheads aren't safety-conscious."

Regardless of all of that work, I still dont really feel like I was there, but man, do I wish I was.
I mentioned to The Snob that maybe it would be a good idea to post up on that same route until their paths cross again.

Speaking of friends in New York, in response to this past Saturdays search for a date to the rock and roll show, the incomparable John Prolly gave me a shout;

Hey man,

Long time reader here. If you're in town on Thursday night [any thursday] you should swing by Meeker at Jackson under the Brooklyn Queens Expressway overpass in Williamsburg.

I throw the Peel Sessions there. A bunch of kids on fixed gears learning tricks. It'd be cool to meet you and we'll take you a fine watering hole for a frosty brew afterwards as well...

Hope to see you,

John"

Say what you will about networking via the internet, but I think its really amazing to have developed as extensive and varied a network as I seem to have across the country, and that I could drop into a city in which I know almost noone and already have an invitation for some beer fueled hijinx.
Im pretty blessed.

Josh, who is the captain at the helm of The U.S.S Urban Assault Ride sent a couple of pictures on from recent events;

There are two final races on deck for the Urban Assault series, which we just sent a whole ton of stuff off for. First theyll be landing in our home away from home of Minneapolis, and then will be closing off a spectacular season in Chicago.

I spoke with Josh on the telephone last week, and he said that while organizing an event such as this has been a huge learning experience, theyve had a great summer and are already looking forward to outdoing themselves next year, and truth be told, were very excited to be a part of it again then.
With any luck, we can even make it out to one of these ourselves.

Its neither here nor there, but now Id like to repeat a public service announcement from Swarm! LA;

Nick contacted us with a culmination of nearly all that I personally represent;

"Stevil,

Attached is a (blurry camera phone) picture I quickly took while frequenting the local deli.

I know you’re a little over it but never have I seen bacon and Danzig combined in such a delectable package.
I bet it tastes salty.

nick"

I would imagine that it would not only taste salty, but would have the subtle flavor of testosterone and defeat.

A very favorite artist that Ive featured on The Bummer Life before that goes by the name of Jason Jagel has got some upcoming doins brewin'.

My man will be having release parties for his new book 73 FUNSHINE at both The Richard Heller Gallery in Santa Monica on.. Oh crap.. September 6th (though his installation there runs through October 4th), but at SF Electric Works in San Francisco on September 12th as well.
Might you find yourself near either of these venues, I highly recommend you swing by, pick up a copy and soak up some of his unique vision. Ive long stated that I feel quite lucky to count one of my favorite artists as a friend, and am quite looking forward to seeing his new work.

Jay, our webguy sent a treatment of an image Ive had here before onto me, illustrating that he might feel the same way about Metallica as I do;

Then, Michael responded to my recent bid for the presidency;

"Stevil wrote:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I know I can count on your votes this November.
By the way, I have a super hot, totally inexperienced middle aged running mate, if that does anything for you.
I think it does something for someone - or at least it would if she made this her official campaign photo:"

The sky is falling.

Seth wrote in to let us know that regardless of whats happening in Washington, everything in the great country of Bikenerddom is just fine;

"Hey Stevil,
Just hoping for some free publicity in the form of bummer life avoidance. I got the Swobo gear you sent, and it's great. Thanks so much. I've attached the flyer and I would really appreciate it if you could post it on your blog.

In other news: My girlfriend has officially caught the bike bug. She'll be taking delivery of bike number four this Saturday. I couldn't be happier, because now she can't say anything about my personal collection of two wheeled toys.
Actually I could be happier, but that's neither here nor there. Her new bike is of the fixed gear persuasion and, being a numbers type of person, I decided to Calculate the gear inches. (See attached screen shot) Now if only I could come up with a suitably cliché comment to go along with it.

-Seth

Im gonna have to leave coming up with a subtle cliché to someone else.
Im fresh out.

Maybe Barry could handle it, as in a recent email, there obviously isnt much that he can not;
It should also be noted that I requested some sort of visual aide to accompany all of these words, but he just sent me his Flickr address and left it up to me to pick which one works best. Much like the birds and the bees, Im just going to leave it up to you all to figure it out;

"Everybody knows about "The Brothers" from Wisconsin,,, But they don't always know about Wisco's other brothers, The Brothers C, and their annual underground racing / drinking / bratwurst extravaganza... "The Blaster".

After a few years of talking shit and no-showing, I've been called out. So, I've officially RSVP'd yes for this years event, along with a couple hundred racers from all over the country.

I was riding my new whip (designed for Colorado domination) last night and trying to talk Big Mark into coming with me. I couldn't help but notice the direct parallel to the classic film "Bloodsport".

Frank Dux(ME) is an American martial artist(BIKE RACER). His former teacher in the martial arts(JC RACE HOST), gives him an invitation to "The Kumite",(BLASTER '08) the secret martial arts tournament (BIKE RACE) where only the world's best fighters (SS RACERS) are invited. Frank (ME) shows up in Hong Kong (MILWAUKEE) for the tournament,(RACE) but his CO's in the US Army (RANDOM FAST DUDES) are right on his tail.

Frank wins match after match,(DRINKS BEER AFTER BEER) and shows promise that he may be the first person from the Western Hemisphere (COLORADO) to win the tournament,(BLASTER) until the defending champion (CREEPY FRIENDLY) gets his hands on Frank's (MY) friend, Jackson,(BIG MARK SUPER CLYDESDALE FROM CO) and injures him in the Quarter Finals(COURSE PRE-RIDE). Now Frank (ME)faces an uphill climb.

(TOTALLY) His friend is hurt(LAZY), the US Army (FAST DUDES) is on his tail, and he is on the verge of making martial arts (BIKE) history. The question is,
will he?

3rd week in October, I'll update you with what's happening in the Kumite.

B"

That was like a roller coaster ride through a world of sexy karate and abstract math equations.
I have a pretty good hunch that if Barry and George ever met up, a black hole would form and wed all be swallowed up into a fold of nothingness.

Alright.. Give me a second to regain my composure with a clip sent in to us from 685;

Its a wonderful life.

Robert sent an email that proves the recent RNC was nothing more than a regular love-in;

"Here's one more use for bicycles that police in Minneapolis have shown the world:

Fox and Rock Shox should get royalties for this one."

Police state?
What police state?
First amendment?
What first amendment?

The city of Minneapolis does love their bicycles...
Anyway, everybody relax. Theres nothing to worry about.

Hot damn, its Monday.
Ive got nothing ahead of me today but water slides and rope swings, while all of you saps are stuck working for the man....

In this country, fantasy increasingly trumps reality.