Taking time off is a great thing for your soul, but avoiding The Bummer Life is a 24 hour a day job, and Im only one man, with only one email address who types with only two fingers, so its quite easy for things to get away from me and make my O.C.D. punch me in the neck. I wake up to the sounds of unanswered emails containing bacon floss and videos of Danzig getting knocked the hell out for the one thousandth time.
I try to keep up on stuff, but I get behind, and as such, I would hate to think that anyone feels as though Im neglecting their efforts of contacting us by not writing back with them or including their contribution on this here blog site.
So with that being said, Im gonna chug a big old bottle of Ipecac, and regurgitate a bunch of those emails out here on the interweb for all 17 of you to see.
So in no particular order, let the barfing begin.

First up, Jon gives us one more reason to dislike David Hasselhoff.

"I realized that while two people from two entirely different countries and backgrounds may seem to have nothing in common, the only thing they might have in common is me."

I wont use the word hate in this case, because I generally reserve that for public singing,.. coupled with an incessant need to show ones ass off any given opportunity.

Then DPerry gave us a heads up that the folks from public works in Dana Point, California dont really get it;

Then he emailed us with an article proving that some folks in our very own city of San Francisco really, really dont really get it.
That Anderson fella might very well be the same knuckle head that attempted to organize a car Critical Mass a bunch of years ago.
Seriously.
However I was never sure how I was supposed to differentiate between the cars in the Critical Mass and all of the other assholes stuck in traffic.

I suppose Ill leave that one up to the scholars.

I know I said I didnt want pictures of people kids to be sent in, but heres one of our own Potters seed expressing what she thought when being notified that Uncle Stevil was coming to town.

Shes a chip off the old block.

The Large Fella on a Bike wrote in with his feelings on soft pop, and skinny wheels;

"Fueling up to kick some roadie ass.... w/Celine Dion.

Have at it [if so inclined].

Peace & Crusty Scabs-

-Scott [LFoaB]"

Celine Deon has lost her damn mind.

Though Ben at The Alt thankfully is still keeping it together.

"Stevil,
The Minnesota State Fair is in full swing, and what is a state fair with out jumbo pieces of bacon on a stick? Also peep the signage that the Big Fat Bacon stand had posted.

-Ben."

Ill never try having sex in a skillet.
Again.

And speaking of sex and pigs, Jon writes;

"If you are asking if I had an orgasm, yes. It was a job, sir," Breiner reportedly said during testimony. "I didn't have pleasure doing this. I was paid to do it."

Im in the wrong line of work

Good times-
Jon"

You and me both, Jon.

Now then- would you like to see a family portrait of some of our friends in New York City?
Of course you would.

Theys a twisted, but loving group of folk. You just dont want to be on the wrong on of their hammers.

Dammit. Just as I get done capping on people sending pictures of bacon floss, our friend Matt from Ghostship Clothing does just that;

Hey Stevil,
My lady-friend and I spent the day up in Mass yesterday and found all sorts of jems that helped us avoid bummer-life-ing...here's photographic evidence (btw, we found all these in different shops...):

1. I'm not quite sure what these are, but I want one....especially if they're of the flying variety...

2. Bacon Beans look like a best-seller....

3. The monocle makes me think that block of soy is up to something....

4. Clare is a little camera shy, but gets her point across...you know what they say about bacon-fresh breath....(it's a little hard to see, but yes, that is indeed bacon floss).

Ghostship Matt"

Of course its bacon floss. I have some next to my keyboard as I type.
Besides- what other kinds of floss are there?

In regards to the recent post about keeping a level head in traffic, Creighton wrote in with proof positive that it does in fact work;

"Howdy Sir,

I just wanted to thank you for the post.

I'm not by any means the angriest commuter in DC, but I've had a few very loud, not at all constructive debates with motorists here, and I always come away from them feeling shitty about how it went down. The dynamic of being threatened, and then responding to that angrily, and then fueling the cycle of yelling all gains momentum so fast, it's tough to get a lid on it once it's out.

Last night, I was riding home after work, riding slow to the left of a line of cars waiting to make a right. A woman in a little sporty BMW got impatient, did a quick look over her shoulder and started to yank out of
the line right in front of me. I grabbed two handfuls of brakes about the time she realized that she had seen something when she looked, which was when she was about halfway out into my path.

So I held up, gestured for her to go ahead and complete her maneuver, and remarked "This ain't a race track, lady!" as she chirped out in front of me. She yelled something back at me angrily and flipped a bird out the window as she sped off... stopping half a block away behind traffic at the next red light.

Now, this is the point where I typically would've rolled up on her and thrown some fuel on our conversation, but I had your post, and Kev's story, fresh on my mind. So as I rode by her car, I slowed way down, and said, "Ma'am, I apologize for yellin' back there, I'm just trying to get home safely like you and everyone else here."

Well she started right back up with bird's a-flippin' and f-bombs explodin' all over the place, there was just no way she was gonna come down. But a curious thing happened on my side of the conflict: I wasn't in the feedback loop. Somehow or another, maybe because my intent turned to
apology and connection instead of combat, nothing swelled up in me to respond to her. All I felt was a little bit of sadness that I couldn't reach her, and an "Ah well, maybe next time."

And I rode all the way home without even a little bit of adrenaline surge, no shaking, no thoughts about, "ya know what I should've said to that effin' idiot...", no action packed story to tell my wife when I got home.

No. Drama. At all.

Anyway, we'll have to see if I can cultivate this approach, and continue down this narrow middle path, but it sure felt like one of those "POW I got illuminated" kinda moments.

Thanks again,
Creighton Higgins"

Thats awesome, and I appreciate Creighton for both utilizing the insight from that particular post, as well as letting us know how it worked for him in the field.

Best case, that woman got home and reflected on that interaction and felt like an ass. Worse case, she actually is just that, plain and simple, and if thats the case, at least she is and Creightons not.

And when push comes to shove, I find that keeping a stash of stacks of the most repugnant pornography I can find close at hand to toss into their window before I speed away always is a near second to turning the other cheek.

Chris recently sent us an email thats jam packed full of bummer life avoidance for everyone with the exception of the folks who lost the camera;

Stevil,

Living the high life of the cycle commuter. Almost t-boned in the morning just to find gold in the afternoon.

Spotted a black case in the weeds and lo and behold it's a functioning camera.

Memory card contained some good shots.

And then there was this, this, and this.

The roadways of our fine nation are just littered with treasure if you have a keen eye.

Avoiding the bummer life just like you have ordered,
C"

Hanging out naked on roof tops with your bros?
Whats so strange about that?

Now, from Steve comes a story were all well aware of at this point, but for the few of you who are not, here you go;

"God hates bicycle thieves-
'It was God’s way of saying, ‘It’s time to put a stop to this,’ said Inspector Bryce Evans of 14 Division."

The whole twisted saga is here.

Our friend Brendan from down unda wanted to let us know of a throw down that hes got coming up for any of you all who might find yourselves in that particular neck of the woods;

"hey man, how's it going?

i'm attempting to pull together a hillclimb in melbourne, australia (aka burn city....).

now, i know that melbourne's a long way away, but there's a lot of folks around here who read your page, and i'd be stoked if you'd throw this flier up on how to avoid the bummer life. thanks!

brendan"

I was fortunate enough to spend a tiny bit of time with some of my Australian homies at the Worlds this past weekend, but Id be lieing if I said that tiny bit was nearly enough.
If any of those homies are reading this, please know you have my love, respect and unfaltering gratitude for riding behind me with music while I suffered.
It was the only part of the race that didnt hurt.

Rob emailed me with this shot Ive seen many times before, but I thought Id throw it up here simply because two things I love are KISS, and fuzzy things.

Matt wrote in with a flash of brilliance;

"Stevil,

While watching this video:

The thought came to me that (unless I am mistaken) Soil Saloon has never done a "Ninja" themed race in the city.

Ninja's and bikes. Could be epic no?"

It could be epic, but then again, The City is full of roller skating ninjas and I suspect that if they caught wind that anyone was attempting to co-opt their shtick, there would be hell to pay.

Now heres a photo that Sky sent to me that succinctly illustrates just about how I feel at this stage of wading through days of unattended emails;

And finally, from our friend Nat in France offers some insight on drinking the fancy;

"Ok, I about to place my first order with the new and improved SWOBO, which is making me all teary eyed and nostalgic.
The internet is all that and all that, but it just ain't the same as being able to walk into the factory, and stepping over some kid on the floor cutting out patterns, pulling the schwag of the shelf, and reveling in the fine odors of damp wool, and SWOBO soap.

Anyway I never thought I'd say this but I really am starting to love France... (see attachment)

N@

PS Hope you're Repetitive Bike Box Syndrome has cleared up somewhat today."

So two items in response- Nat, and his lovely bride Heide and I all used to messenger together, and at one point, he sent me a set of photos that were taken for a Swobo photo shoot about 12 years ago.
He truly was with Swobo on the ground floor.

Anyway, Nat, like myself had issues blowing the crotches out of our old JMacs when karate kicking, which of course is no longer an issue. In fact he just recieved some and emailed me saying that he figured Bruce Lee was coming back from the grave to get his own pair.

And in regards to my wrists, despite the fact that I spent more time beating myself up on a mountain bike this past weekend then I have in some time, my hands feel surprisingly healthy.
To the individual who at one point recommended the 661 wrist brace, you were right, and thanks one million times.

Alright- I think Ive purged all that I can at this point, but Im sure that the next time I take a day off, Ill get buried again and we can all have another go around.
If you can stand it.

Its Friday (well, Thursday night actually, but thats pretty much like Friday)
and I dont know about you, but this weekend Im looking forward to a whole lot of rad getting.
That, and laying on the floor with some cartoons in front of me.

As usual, might I recommend the same?