Friday Heros come in all shapes and sizes.
For example, our friends over at Bicycle Retailer did us a solid thats akin to asking a grizzled old man such as myself for an I.D. when attempting to purchase the hootch.
They called us hipsters.
Now it should be duly noted that collectively (with the exception of Bruce, who is ageless), the five of us are roughly 216 years old, with around 75 years in the bike industry between us, but thats neither here nor there. The author of said piece has made me feel young again, and for that, I offer many thanks.
I do have to take slight exception to any one of us being referred to as a 'Swobozo' however. I understand that on a good day our hair is generally an unmanageable mess of crap, but theres really no need to go throwing stones.
Another form of Friday Hero comes in the form of Will;
"Hey Stevil,
Thanks for featuring my story of carnage and stick-to-itiveness a few weeks back. I'm almost all healed up, that wet healing method is indeed a lot better, although peeling wet scabs off your arm every morning in the shower is a drag.
I only bring this to your attention reluctantly, as I am not a superstitious man, but take a look at the race numbers I had for the Buffalo Creek Xterra (see pic). There were two numbers in the race pack, one for the bike, one for the run... it takes a little addition, but... As you know, I crashed like a sack of potatoes, if that sack of potatoes happened to be riding in a downhill race. I will speculate no further.
While I was recovering and telling my harrowing tale to coworkers in the office, I was soon made to feel like an ass, because the Thursday after my wipeout, my coworker Katie was hit while walking across the street by a left turning in-attentive driver going about 30 mph. Katie may weigh about 102 lbs, so she did not win in this showdown. My only hope is that since she was in a crosswalk, crossing on the walk sign, and the driver was on their phone, that Katie will soon be a wealthier woman, and not have to trouble herself with unpleasantries such as data entry. (she said it's cool if you want to use her picture).
That picture was taken while Katie and I observed a kickball game which we normally participate in during healthier times, and so instead we drank Coors on the sidelines. My big moment came when an errant ball bounced my way, and on my slow jog to retrieve it, I ended up rolling my ankle and mangling the tendon that makes my left foot work properly. The damn ankle injury hobbled me more than the bike wipeout, and turned my whole foot a lovely shade of putrid purple for a few days time... just goes to show, you need to avoid the bummer life as much as possible since you never know when you will be crippled chasing down a kick ball, or flattened by a RAV4 while innocently crossing the street.
Yours Truly,
Will"
Firstly, never in the history of man have numbers been a catalyst of ill fate, and if anything, your good fortune for ending up with those plates steered you clear of making an even greater mess of yourself, though I cant refrain from mentioning that part of the reason you crashed just may have been because youre missing one of your fork legs.
Anyway, accidents happen.. Its just that Satan keeps a close eye on us to make sure we dont get too badly damaged. He needs us around to continue spreading his word.
Secondly, I always assumed that anyone who got in a tangle with a Rav4 would just swat it away like a pesky gnat and emerge victorious, but evidentially thats not the case. Im glad youre both doing well and healing up like healthy people do.
Thirdly, and though I probably should be, Im not ashamed to admit that theres something unsettlingly alluring about an attractive woman in a neck brace.
And speaking of attractive people with injuries, heres to the first day of the rest of my life.
Another suitable Friday Hero was sent from the large fella on a bike who is my eight year old alter ego that goes by the name of Chloe.
She obviously has nothing before her but a sublimely sinister path, and it doesnt look to bother her to much.
Now then.. this beast right here is the pneumatic stapler that we use to seal up the bike boxes.
The other day I thought it would be funny if I emptied it out and then nail The Skipper in the back to scare him. Just before I unveiled my master prank, I took it for a test drive on my own thigh just to be sure it was harmless. As I pulled the trigger, I recalled the lightning quick and gigantic spikes that protrude momentarily when fired.
The result was a blinding pain and a sweet bruise.
That right there is called the wisdom of adulthood. Had I been two decades younger or so, I would have gone ahead and lit The Skipper up, which ultimately would have resulted in me having to hold him down and apologize until he swore not to punch me in the nose.
So on that note... Hell... Maybe I deserve to be a little bit of a Friday Hero as well.
Apparently the powers that be had a suspicion that The Skipper and I were spending our days in the warehouse goofing off and had secret video cameras installed in an attempt at catching us in the act. Somehow Brent got ahold of one of the clips and forwarded it on to me letting me know the days of shirking our duties are numbered.
That surely will wreak havoc on my doctors visits insurance claims.
You know who else fits into this weeks Friday Hero category? Elmes and his love of all things two wheeled.
I smell some serious adventure on the horizon for this particular hero.
And now- an email from El Gato;
"Stevil,
Its only a matter of time until we see the Bacon Helmet:
Something much more suitable for the debutante in your life.
It is better not to watch how it is done.
El Gato"
As I responded to The Cat, bacons supposed to go in you, not on you...
In regards to the recent InBev buyout of our beloved Budweiser, our own Sky writes;
"I did an informal survey when I was in Belgium in '05 shortly after InBev became the globe's heavy hitter buying up Brasil's Brahma brand. I asked bartenders "Who is more evil? George Bush or InBev?" Nine out of ten said "InBev." As you certainly know beer in Belgium is like wine in France, the national drink and a symbol of pride. There are over 150 breweries there. Well, InBev gets the Zenith of Evil award because they're not buying up the little breweries, they're buying up the distributors. Look out American beer drinkers, it's going to be a rocky ride. Did you know InBev owned Rolling Rock?
And with that, I say 'aside from InBev and Ricco, screw the work week doldrums'...
I say 'the weekends for sleeping in, delicious breakfast, cartoons and bicycles'....
I say 'crack a coldy with a friend and shoot BB guns at emptys in the backyard, but freak out cause you caught a ricochet right near your eyeball but then you laugh because the welt looks like a little smiley face, and then you play with your cat and take a nap...'
You know... For an example...
Hipsterly yours,
S.K.
Comments
I think you should take the "bad publicity" and run with it. I'm thinking stickers with a "One Less Trek" logo. Why not?
Posted by: Fluxus | July 30, 2008 12:11 PM
Tim/Stevil '08!
Posted by: James Park | July 23, 2008 07:20 PM
Regarding lowered I.Q.s...
One only need look at The Skippers eight year long undergraduate career to answer that question.
Posted by: Stevil | July 23, 2008 03:33 PM
I do not care for your political affiliations as a company, period. Obviously the GB administration sucks, so you guys insinuating I am a supporter are wrong, try again.
Most bikes are made in Taiwan, this is a fact, just pick up a magazine. Trek is no different from most of them. In fact, many of these facilities are more advanced than those in the U.S.
I want a Swobo, but I don't want to "vote my dollar" and become an idiot, I just want to buy a good bike, screw politics. Does your IQ drop when you ride a Swobo?
Posted by: John | July 23, 2008 02:11 PM
Was that a bacon tiara? Brilliant!
Posted by: Michael | July 23, 2008 10:21 AM
John typed: "Sean, your weak juxtaposition shows your both your ignorance about bikes and politics. Either way, a company to takes a political stance is a stupid one."
Yeah! Patagonia is really stupid! They must not be profitable! I must be a flaming jackass!
Personally I LIKE IT when companies wear their politics on their sleeves. Helpful when deciding where to shop, and where *not* to shop. Swobo is top-shelf in that regard.
Posted by: George Smiley | July 22, 2008 09:31 PM
A correction to Sean Hurl's comment...
Bush is not from Texas.
Posted by: Johnny | July 22, 2008 11:16 AM
Will, might I suggest that if you should get those numbers again, do as Jen Voigt did with his number 13 recently and turn it upside down... Though then it will look the the error message on the Speak and Spell which actually might be worse.
Posted by: Stevil | July 20, 2008 05:23 PM
First off John. I dont speak for swobo and aside from the occasional sneaky teeky bender I have no affiliation with their company. I'm not known for my massive five syllable words or correct punctuation so perhaps I am ignorant. But trust me- my cool factor is no act.
That being said I do consider myself a friend of the "swobozos" mentioned in the BICYCLE RETAILER article and I personally took offense to it. It seemed to me that BICYCLE RETAILER was taking sides by pointing out something that was really not worth mentioning and in my opinion (which at least for now I am entitled to) besides the uses I pointed out BICYLE RETAILER is not worth mentioning.
Secondly John. I dont know how many bikes you have built but I have personally been involved in the production of thousands of hand built American made bad boys. Some of which helped pioneer the use of horst link suspension. And since you know so much about bikes and the bike industry you must know some of the people who lost their jobs and their way of life when TREK bought BONTRAGER and then shut down their facility. And I'm sure you had no problem with TREK turning one of the best steel frame manufactures ever into a mass produced OEM brand. You can call me ignorant but dont waste your time telling me about bikes or the industry.
I appoligize for my comments about GWB and I wont say another negative word about him. I will just let the economy do the talking.
Ignorantly yours but cool as ice
Sean
Posted by: Sean Hurl | July 20, 2008 04:36 PM
Uh.. From my corner, where the bikes are made has noting to do with it. Just as the folks at Swobo have said, its about voting with your dollar. For example, I would choose to vote with my dollar by going to the independently owned lumber yard, rather than Home Depo.
No one ever specifically proclaimed a political stance here, they just said that the Bush administration sucks, and you really cant disparage that no matter what political beliefs you subscribe to.
Trek has long been supporters of the republican party, which is fine. You disagree with the simple notion that Swobo might not approve of the work GWB has done, then you VOTE WITH YOUR DOLLAR.
Really, it doesnt strike me as so complicated...
Posted by: Christopher Moffat of the Moffat Tunnel family. | July 20, 2008 11:49 AM
Sean, your weak juxtaposition shows your both your ignorance about bikes and politics.
Either way, a company to takes a political stance is a stupid one. Act as cool as you want, but making your political affiliations known to your customers is both rude and poor business sense. I personally do not want to hear what your stances are as a company politically, REGARDLESS of whether or not I agree with you. Additionally, alienated potential customers is perhaps the worst thing you can do as a company. Shut up and just build bikes, please. One more thing, MOST bikes are made in Taiwan, so singling out TREK is just plain ignorance. As the most visible they are the target of course, but only to the uneducated.
Posted by: John | July 19, 2008 10:14 PM
That settles it. I'll have to buy a lot more stuff from SWOBO.
Posted by: David Loving | July 19, 2008 09:54 PM
I seem to remember trading rounds of 2" staples with you at some other company... Ah well, there's nothing like a good pneumatic toy! Got Tony Soprano right in the eye recently. We need some new posters...
Posted by: Chezedog Leafblower | July 19, 2008 09:27 PM
I own one thing trek, arm warmers! hehe
Posted by: Joe | July 19, 2008 07:32 PM
So... what... You're the blonde in the video ?
Posted by: gimp | July 19, 2008 12:05 AM
Ha! That bike only came with one half of a fork... I bought it on ebay, maybe I should contact the seller about this swindle. I'll tell you what, I'm more than willing to test ride any spare forks Santa Cruz or Swobo might have kicking around, I'll give a favorable review, honest.
Posted by: Will Handsfield | July 18, 2008 09:50 PM
Last week I was at a project meeting when the lunch conversation turned to the question "would guys do stupid stuff if women weren't around"....unless an un-named female was in the room your stapler story answers the question with a resounding "yes".
On the Trek/Hipster tip...I think they might have you beat since they got a couple of their fixies slotted into a Volkswagen commercial....fixies and volkswagens are hip, right?
Posted by: LJ | July 18, 2008 11:44 AM
You have a camera in your chamois?
Posted by: Tman | July 18, 2008 09:45 AM
Oh C'mon, everyone knows you Swobozians are new to this whole urban biking thang...I suppose anyone who rides a bike leaning to the left is now considered a hipster, eh. How red of them to generalize, oversimplify and stereotype.
Posted by: fomenter | July 18, 2008 09:01 AM
yo dirty dog, thanks for showing us how to avoid the bummer life. youre really far out and groovy in a hip, happening kind of way. so 'fight the power' and 'keep on truckin' my funk soul brother!
Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 08:59 AM
Great taste in bikes...but why the horrible taste in beer?
Posted by: scotto | July 18, 2008 08:23 AM
Its funny you never hear about all the lay-offs TREK executed on the local factory workers of Waterloo so they could move production over seas. Trek fires all the locals so they can start "one world, two wheels". That corporate dump took all the magic out of bicycles for me. When I went to work there I was 180 pounds at 6'3", when I left i was tipping the scales at 230. I miss it like I'll miss g-dub when he finally is lifted from his reign.
Posted by: zigone | July 18, 2008 08:18 AM
The man didn't like your comment. You don't want sheep riding your bikes anyway. Do you?
Posted by: Nick | July 18, 2008 05:08 AM
Speaking of hipsters isn't that the name of TREKS new "fixie"? leave it to BICYCLE RETAILER to over look the similarities between BUSH and TREK. Bush is known for destroying small countries. TREK is known for destroying small companies. Bush is from Texas. TREK sells a ton of fine bikes thanks to a cyclist from Texas. Bush has allowed most of our jobs to go over seas. TREK has most of said companies parts made over seas. Don't get me wrong I'm not down playing the importance of a fine rag like BICYCLE RETAILER. For example at Spin City in Roseville we would lay it on the floor under the bike stands when cleaning chains and I can't tell you how many times BICYCLE RETAILER came to the rescue when I would look over only to see a bare cardboard tube looking back at me. Not the softest paper in the world but better than your hand. I guess if there is a point to my rambling it's that. "BICYCLE RETAILER it's better than your hand"
Posted by: Sean Hurl | July 18, 2008 01:19 AM