Obviously based on the number of emails Ive recieved from folks, I wasnt the only one with a few days jammed packed with all of the goodness and frivolity one experiences when allowed the luxury of a three day weekend.
Though first and foremost, it should be noted that the long anticipated moustace party has come and gone and there were facial hair configurations of every sort.

Ultra-running superstar Steve Prefontaine made an appearance;

Sean took a break from tending to the meth lab to swing by and tear a phone book in half;

Even the babies got in on the action;

After all the dust had settled, I came out with top honors, though the competition was truly fierce.
Sadly, after five and a half months of training, The Skipper got pulled over by the cops on the way to the party and was faced with an immediate release and a $300.00 fine, or a trip to the DMV and a fixit ticket, so well never know who the true winer was. Its now is my distinct honor to present to you Mr. Duke Rafferty III;

Name: Duke Rafferty III

Family: Son of infamous oil tycoon Duke Rafferty Jr. (aka Junior Senior)
Special Move: The Hostile Takeover
Pickup Line: My Daddy made millions drilling for oil, I do my drilling for pleasure...

Mustache Art: Mustache Disguise Key-Ring (Although standard issue for CIA field operatives, the Mustache Disguise Key-Ring was ineffective in escaping the California Highway Patrol this afternoon)

Final Words: This mustache is going into hiding, but will rise out of the criminal underworld more powerful than ever.

It should go without saying that Dukes absence was a mar across the face of this years competition, and in light of this, I accepted the title in his honor, and have presented him with this years title of 'super stache'.

Mail bag time? Yeah, mail bag time.

"Hey Stevil-

Matt here (former Mike Bikes guy) we talked one before.

Not sure this is how to avoid the bummer life.... but it's hecka cool and had me drifting off for three minutes in my work day.

This guy whom I have no relation to made a amazing track primarily composed of the audio from Alice in Wonderland. Think Massive Attack meets Death Cab and well... yea just check it out and let me know if that description works:

Very best part- you can download the MP3 for free from the the artist's site."

Alice in Wonderland has always given me the creeps, and that clip didnt change anything.

Billy of The Spaceman family writes;

"I'll admit that the whole neo-baconist movement never did it for me, and the pig strip obsession I find a bit tiresome. So therefore it is a surprise that I'd be sending you more ammunition, but here me out. The other day I went to my local store here in San Fran to get a soy latte and a tasty vegan donut.

I picked the unusual one off the top and took it home. When I bit into it I was, to say the least, perplexed that my donut was bursting with imitation bacon flavor. Sprinkled on it's sugary glaze was what turned out to be Bac-Os! After my first bite I just had to take a picture for you, a sight that even the cranky vegan asshole enjoyed. Nice new bike, quit being a sissy and ride it in the Soil Saloon!
Love, Spaceman."

Im with you man. As much as I love bacon, I am learning that when one mentions said love for something on a forum such as this, one tends to get inundated with emails from folks who share the same affinity.
From this point forward, we shall begin to investigate new passions. Of course bacon, three sixes, Danzig and moustaches will always have a soft and special place in my heart, but I feel that the time to broaden our horizons might just about be now.

Have you all been missing George like weve been missing George?

"Looks like I found you on Saturday taking a little nap!

The other ones below are great!

It reminds of a time that my best friend’s bitch of a girlfriend found our German buddy Fritz passed out with pants around the ankles ½ on the toilet and ½ puking into the tub. A Beautiful epic moment after a 10+ keg party.

Also, check out some photos from the Tuesday night rides in Carbondale.

I’m gonna dream till Monday comes around…
Love,
g"

Hearing of Georges exploits is always like a little slice of Heaven.

And one from Josh;

"Heya stevil im honoured to have drummed up the all week hero! Heres a nice new jem I picked up from Ricks shop lastnight, going to be proudly showing the east coast what craftsmanship smells like for the bike film fest in a week."

I spent a little while at the Hunter compound this weekend and came to the conclusion that I could have five of Ricks bikes, and it still wouldnt be enough.

And from John we get an email with so many highs and lows it could give a person vertigo;

"-Bummer Life Avoidance-
Anywho last week I think I provided the city of Indianapolis with a shining example of bummer life avoidance. Someone ripped a branch of a tree and somehow I threw around numbers and mathematical calculations and engineered this fine piece of bike accessory... branch fender.

I found a way to flick the handle bars so the branch would flip out to the side and smack cabs, cars, hummers, drunk randoms etc all whilst yelling for people to look at my bush.

-defining bummer life_
Last night I defined bummer life. Me and about 7 friends were riding around downtown by this club and suddenly I heard some bouncers rattle off bike, fag, fag, fag, bike, bike, and in a Gatling gun stream of semi-automatic hate. My friend didn't take kindly to it and smashed their window with his lock. In the midst of them throwing his bike in the street and my attempt of retrieval I slipped and 4 bouncers came over to help me up and they were so sweet they picked me up, threw me into a pole head first and proceeded to choke me on the ground until the cops showed up. I sat on the curb and made a puddle with the blood pouring out of my head until they hauled me off in the ambulance.

It was quite the scene. It was pretty bummer but I did my best to keep my head metaphorically up. In the end i got 9 staples and a ruined shirt all because I tried to save my friends bike.

By the way I got that drive around and act retarded job. Apparently I was the man for the job because you were not available and had previous commitments.

John"

As I responded to John, the simple answer to all of this and the most efficient way of having avoided the whole unpleasant affair to begin with would simply to have not been a bike fag in the first place, but we are what we are, and if were gonna get periodically mobbed by security thugs for it, then so be it. Were glad you came out more or less on top though John, and a word to the wise... You might want to stay away from airport metal detectors for a couple of weeks.

What do you suppose is cracking in Nicks side of the ring?;

"Well... I dont normally share stuff of the political nature, I find it can be a touchy subject. However this song not only rules but is awesomely great. You likey the flobots?

Be good ride bikes !

I would also like to note... I recently took a job with El Corpo myself. I now work in Cambridge MA, tell Tim they are way ahead of his thoughts on a bicycle revolution of sorts. Fixies, mtbs, cross.. guys in suits on fixies... Its kinda rad. yeah

Nick"

Yeah Nick, Me likey The Flobots, but me no likey riding bikes with no handlebars. It makes me feel the sensation of momentary drowning.

Thuston writes, regarding 'the family that slays together';

"Hopefully one of your other bacon fueled minions has alerted you to the existence of this:

I'm pretty sure Steve Harris is trying on Pikachu t-shirts for Maiden's next tour.
-Thurston
Boise, ID."

As I just wrote back to Thurston, JMac has kept me abreast of the families development. In this, what I believe to be one of the first clips available, youll notice that there are little toys and artifacts of childhood scattered about the room, but in more recent clips, the room transforms into a real live practice pad.

And finally Josh from the Urban Assault Ride Tour fame wrote in with an update on his most recent event;

"The Swobo gear was a huge hit in Portland this weekend. This gentleman had such a large and impressive mustache, I just had to hang a Swobo sticker on it.

Thanks for all of your support. Swobo made an impressive showing in the PacNW over the last two weekends.

So can you two make it out to Austin? 1200 plus riders. Maybe Lance will team up with one of you two.

Heres a few more from thisd weekend-

Pic 1
Pic 2
Pic 3
Pic 4
and
a photo of Rock Racing’s Doug Ollerenshaw.

Take care,
Josh"

Id love to make it to one of these, as they look like short of jumping my bike into the pool at the playboy mansion, its just about as much fun as one could have on a bicycle, though I have to say the last time I limboed on a tiny bike, the crotch of my jumpsuit kinda got tangled in the back wheel, which resulted in disaster for me, and I just dont think thats the kind of unprofessionalism that Lance is used to dealing with.

Now finally, its with a gigantic amount of pride and pleasure that I notify one and all about an extraordinarily unique event thats about to take place in Minneapolis from our man Charles;

"Closing Night Party for the Imaginary Bags show-
Saturday, June 7 @ 7:00PM
Featuring DJ Millions Billionz and live music by The Haves Have It.
(You can also hear them on the video on the Imaginary Bags website, listed below.)

Imaginary Bags is a silent auction and fundraising event featuring unique Crumpler messenger bags created by artists and designers from the Minnesota biking community. All proceeds benefit the Mark Loesch Memorial Fund.

For more information about the event, visit Imaginary Bags(dot)com.

Sponsored by Crumpler, and One On One Bicycle Studio.

P.S. If you're on Facebook, please join the Imaginary Bags group"

Yours truly has had the honor of being included in this one of a kind hodown, and have immersed myself in an epic array of begging, borrowing and stealing in order to procure a plane ticket to get myself out for the event, so if youre in these neck of the woods, wont you please come by for the closing event and say hello?

So for now, thats just about it. We hope that everyone is feeling as refreshed and rejuvenated as the lot of us here in Swoboland do.

To wrap this post up well just leave you with this...

And on that note, get back to work.