It was during an afternoon of woefully half assed, and extraordinarily overdue bike washing that not only was the theme song from 'The Courtship of Eddies Father' playing loops in my head, but I began reflecting on just how infrequently I undertake this activity. In fact I recalled being on a road ride in the Oakland hills many years ago and a friend of mine rode up behind me saying he didnt recognize me due to the sparkly cleanness of my bike. It was at that point that I vowed to make bike washing a more regularly scheduled part of my bike maintenance, but like they say, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, and thats about as far as that vow went.

Anyhow, lets get on with it.

First up is 'The Unruly Schooly', named after the poor sap Schooly of the Boise Warlock fame who in a fit of desperation sold this bike to me for far less than he would have under different circumstances perhaps. For years when we messengered together, I was secretly coveting this bike until I finally caught him in a moment of weakness. Dont worry though Schools.. I put together a living will and should I meet up with an untimely passing, shes coming back to you.
Unless you actually are responsible for said untimely passing, in which case my mom gets it.

My ugly townie, bar, derby, rain bike. After so many years of cobbling together various town bikes with ill fitted fenders and mismatched everything, a couple of years ago I decided to put together something that actually works, and that she does.
Secondly, when turning the bike over in the yard to dry it, I cant say I was terribly surprised by the serial number.

My Hunter cross bike. Its never carried me to victory, in the traditional sense, but Ive ridden this bike to lengths that no ordinary cross bike should be ridden and its never flinched. Plus I experienced my most spectacular crash ever on it. Suffice it to say, I came out in far worse shape than the bike did.

The Soulcraft Dirtbomb. What can I say about this bike that I already havent? Its a peach of a bike, and its named after one of my favorite bands. I probably ride it more than any of my other bikes presently because not only does it fill the narrow gap between a cross bike and a mountain bike, but the good people at Soulcraft have actually foolishly undertaken sponsoring me with all of the trappings included. After years of racing I finally got a sweet contract once I quit.
Whoever said quitters never win never met me.
Plus, as of Monday night, this is what its supposed to look like..

My Sycip road bike which was built for me in trade for a painting by the skilled hands of Mo Rebolledo when he was still in the brothers employ. In the five years or so that Ive had this bike, weve logged literally thousands of miles together. Its helped me recover from heartbreak, hangovers, work week doldrums, and caffeine jitters. As a side note of possible interest, I also traded Scot Nicol a painting for the tube set, shortly after Ibis closed their doors in Sebastopol. This might very well be the only Sycip in existence with Ibis dropouts.

If youve been paying attention to The Bummer Life for some time, then youll no doubt recognize the 'Flames Brown' built for me by Curtis Inglis. It by far is the most dressed up of any of my bikes with its retarded bass boat gold and purple and white flame paint job. Really the only environment that this bike wouldnt look totally out of place would be a gay pride parade.

Hands down, more than any of my bikes, my Blue Collar built for me by Robert Ives would be considered the work horse of my collection. This bike has been beaten and abused in more locations across North America then any of my bikes. Its like a punching bag. I abuse and neglect it well beyond reason, and it never asks why.

And the baby of the bunch. The new Circle A- Poor thing doesnt yet realize just what a rough road lies ahead for it.

I also have a sparkly blue Hunter geared mountain bike which I love very much, but is on loan to my friend Joe while hes in town, and a single speed cross frame built for me by Todd before he was calling his gig 'Black Cat Bicycles'.

I desperately wanted him to call his company 'Retodded', and then join forces with Sofa King, as there really wasnt any company I could ever see coming out of retirement to race for aside from the SOFA KING RETODDED team, but he didnt go for it. I even had a kit in mind, but that is another story for another time.
At any rate, the Retodded frame is waiting for a new batch of goodies to be thrown on, and then the collection will be complete.

You know.. For now.

So there you have it. The whole array of wildly neglected, but dearly loved bikes in all of their freshly washed glory. Now Ive got nothing ahead of me but another six months of making them dirty again.

And finally in completely unrelated news, Ive proudly made my mark on the world with an entry to the Urban Dictionary.
That glow you see on the horizon is my beam of pride.
Many thanks to Cowles for imparting that particular moniker on me oh, so many years ago.