Learn it, live it, love it.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 05:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) |

But as it turns out, its gonna end up being for you. Yep, as hard as Ive tried to get something spanky and jewel encrusted for the Swobo HQ to celebrate How to Avoid The Bummer Lifes two year birthday, El Corpo had other ideas, and as a result weve devised something that were gonna drop next week for you all, so Id say probably keep em tuned MondayTuesdayWednesdayish to see just what the hell Im talking about, because at this stage in the game, Im not even sure I know what Im talking about.
Yeah- quite a departure from the norm.. I know.

Does anybody in the Bay Area need something to do with their free time this weekend?

The kids are at it again with the annual Oakland Scrape alleycat race series. Pick up some Juicy Fruit and get to it.
Also, Johnny clued us in on something that aside from kicking GWB square in the junk, any folks residing around the interior of Texas might be interested in getting in on as well. The Real Ale Ride.
Then, when youre through with those two things, bounce back to the Central Coast of California and round your day off with The Summer Scrounge. (Ed- ah hell.. It was Friday night. What is 'time' but a word?)

Thats gonna be a busy Saturday.
Are you ready for something that El Corpo sent on that doesnt have anything to do with anything? Of course you are, otherwise you probably wouldnt be here.

All I have to say about it is I suspect the cats responsible for making that film were sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo high.
Ahem.. Soo high..

From the league of elbow typists, of which I am proudly and undeniably a member, Slappy from The Stomparillaz took a tip from my bike show and tell last week and sent in some shots of his own hardware, as well as a sequence shot of his two identical brothers getting rad with him.

Hi there STevil, so i've quite enjoyed the idea, ever since way back, of communicating to you in the medium of bike bios, given that you seem to find my missives hard to reAD, perhaps 1000+ word photographs would help.. aanyway here's my mtb. it rips. .

med niner sir 9 beer can thickness steel?!?
3 x 4 xtr d-train
pink king ss disc hubset on dt'z with 4 cogs and a pink sswc 07 bracelet
purple + carbon frk , looking good lewis, feeling good billy ray!

Already cracked the frame once, they warrantied it. that was nice. it's the raddest rig i've ever had the pleasure to ride. . peas slappy

I think it goes without saying that the brother in the back is not only far more skilled on a bike, but much better looking as well.

Erin the sales maven has sent a photo on to me thats she described as a future Swobo campaign for our dealers to help attempt to deter shoplifting.

That works for me. As a matter of fact after seeing that, I actually returned a bunch of stuff I stole today just for good measure, thank you very much.

Our boy Michael is looking for a new job, due to what in the corporate world is commonly referred to as 'thinking outside of the box';

"For the Annual Company Picnic, management had decided that because of liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one drink per person...
I was fired for ordering the cups."

There was a company that I used to work for in the Bay Area, that will remain unnamed, who because of me, forever implemented the enforcement of three drink tickets per person at holiday parties.
Had Michael and I been working together then, we might very well own that company today.

And speaking of drinks, the dirts at The Soil Saloon are getting ready to fill some cups full of frosty, dusty goodness again.

Maybe if you think youve got the chops, you might even get to go toe to toe with this fellow;

However its still unconfirmed whether or not he was just a homeless guy who got in on the mix.
Ifin you get an itch, more of Nicks pics can be seen right here.

Hey.. have any of you all seen "No Country for Old Men"?
I watched it last night.
Damn...
But can anybody please explain the ending to me?

Anyhow, what else have we got?
Oh yeah.. Our friends from The DFL have got a ride cooking this weekend as well.

As always, it might be a bike ride, plain and simple, but with these folks theres always a good chance that it could degenerate into a casserole party thats followed by group sex. Attend at your own risk.
And speaking of which, perhaps youd like to take a peek at what really transpired this past weekend at the Moustache Bash?

However in my opinion, this shot from Daniel really is the only one youd need to see.

Im gonna keep blowing the upcoming Imaginary Bags show up,until I board that big, beautiful aeroplane. Believe that.

A question for the ages?
What would Jesus drive?

Thats all Ive got. Even though I only had a four day work week, I still feel as though Ive earned the weekend just the same.
Who knows what Ill get into?
There obviously is too much trouble brewing for any single individual to match, but rest assured, I will do my damnedest to get into as much of it as I can, and as usual, might I recommend you all do the same?

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 06:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) |

Roger from What We Do is Secret has just conducted a hard hitting, Lipton-esque style interview with me, and if youve ever really wondered what it is that drives all of this man,
you know- my hopes, my fears, my dreams.. click and read.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 06:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (13) |

Everybody needs a break from time to time. Even if that means a break from doing something that you love.. Like expounding on the benefits of avoiding the bummer life for example.. Theres nothing like getting away to give you a little bit of perspective, and a renewed sense of purpose and inspiration.
That being said, Ive got it in spades so lets get this show on the road.

Obviously based on the number of emails Ive recieved from folks, I wasnt the only one with a few days jammed packed with all of the goodness and frivolity one experiences when allowed the luxury of a three day weekend.
Though first and foremost, it should be noted that the long anticipated moustace party has come and gone and there were facial hair configurations of every sort.

Ultra-running superstar Steve Prefontaine made an appearance;

Sean took a break from tending to the meth lab to swing by and tear a phone book in half;

Even the babies got in on the action;

After all the dust had settled, I came out with top honors, though the competition was truly fierce.
Sadly, after five and a half months of training, The Skipper got pulled over by the cops on the way to the party and was faced with an immediate release and a $300.00 fine, or a trip to the DMV and a fixit ticket, so well never know who the true winer was. Its now is my distinct honor to present to you Mr. Duke Rafferty III;

Name: Duke Rafferty III

Family: Son of infamous oil tycoon Duke Rafferty Jr. (aka Junior Senior)
Special Move: The Hostile Takeover
Pickup Line: My Daddy made millions drilling for oil, I do my drilling for pleasure...

Mustache Art: Mustache Disguise Key-Ring (Although standard issue for CIA field operatives, the Mustache Disguise Key-Ring was ineffective in escaping the California Highway Patrol this afternoon)

Final Words: This mustache is going into hiding, but will rise out of the criminal underworld more powerful than ever.

It should go without saying that Dukes absence was a mar across the face of this years competition, and in light of this, I accepted the title in his honor, and have presented him with this years title of 'super stache'.

Mail bag time? Yeah, mail bag time.

"Hey Stevil-

Matt here (former Mike Bikes guy) we talked one before.

Not sure this is how to avoid the bummer life.... but it's hecka cool and had me drifting off for three minutes in my work day.

This guy whom I have no relation to made a amazing track primarily composed of the audio from Alice in Wonderland. Think Massive Attack meets Death Cab and well... yea just check it out and let me know if that description works:

Very best part- you can download the MP3 for free from the the artist's site."

Alice in Wonderland has always given me the creeps, and that clip didnt change anything.

Billy of The Spaceman family writes;

"I'll admit that the whole neo-baconist movement never did it for me, and the pig strip obsession I find a bit tiresome. So therefore it is a surprise that I'd be sending you more ammunition, but here me out. The other day I went to my local store here in San Fran to get a soy latte and a tasty vegan donut.

I picked the unusual one off the top and took it home. When I bit into it I was, to say the least, perplexed that my donut was bursting with imitation bacon flavor. Sprinkled on it's sugary glaze was what turned out to be Bac-Os! After my first bite I just had to take a picture for you, a sight that even the cranky vegan asshole enjoyed. Nice new bike, quit being a sissy and ride it in the Soil Saloon!
Love, Spaceman."

Im with you man. As much as I love bacon, I am learning that when one mentions said love for something on a forum such as this, one tends to get inundated with emails from folks who share the same affinity.
From this point forward, we shall begin to investigate new passions. Of course bacon, three sixes, Danzig and moustaches will always have a soft and special place in my heart, but I feel that the time to broaden our horizons might just about be now.

Have you all been missing George like weve been missing George?

"Looks like I found you on Saturday taking a little nap!

The other ones below are great!

It reminds of a time that my best friend’s bitch of a girlfriend found our German buddy Fritz passed out with pants around the ankles ½ on the toilet and ½ puking into the tub. A Beautiful epic moment after a 10+ keg party.

Also, check out some photos from the Tuesday night rides in Carbondale.

I’m gonna dream till Monday comes around…
Love,
g"

Hearing of Georges exploits is always like a little slice of Heaven.

And one from Josh;

"Heya stevil im honoured to have drummed up the all week hero! Heres a nice new jem I picked up from Ricks shop lastnight, going to be proudly showing the east coast what craftsmanship smells like for the bike film fest in a week."

I spent a little while at the Hunter compound this weekend and came to the conclusion that I could have five of Ricks bikes, and it still wouldnt be enough.

And from John we get an email with so many highs and lows it could give a person vertigo;

"-Bummer Life Avoidance-
Anywho last week I think I provided the city of Indianapolis with a shining example of bummer life avoidance. Someone ripped a branch of a tree and somehow I threw around numbers and mathematical calculations and engineered this fine piece of bike accessory... branch fender.

I found a way to flick the handle bars so the branch would flip out to the side and smack cabs, cars, hummers, drunk randoms etc all whilst yelling for people to look at my bush.

-defining bummer life_
Last night I defined bummer life. Me and about 7 friends were riding around downtown by this club and suddenly I heard some bouncers rattle off bike, fag, fag, fag, bike, bike, and in a Gatling gun stream of semi-automatic hate. My friend didn't take kindly to it and smashed their window with his lock. In the midst of them throwing his bike in the street and my attempt of retrieval I slipped and 4 bouncers came over to help me up and they were so sweet they picked me up, threw me into a pole head first and proceeded to choke me on the ground until the cops showed up. I sat on the curb and made a puddle with the blood pouring out of my head until they hauled me off in the ambulance.

It was quite the scene. It was pretty bummer but I did my best to keep my head metaphorically up. In the end i got 9 staples and a ruined shirt all because I tried to save my friends bike.

By the way I got that drive around and act retarded job. Apparently I was the man for the job because you were not available and had previous commitments.

John"

As I responded to John, the simple answer to all of this and the most efficient way of having avoided the whole unpleasant affair to begin with would simply to have not been a bike fag in the first place, but we are what we are, and if were gonna get periodically mobbed by security thugs for it, then so be it. Were glad you came out more or less on top though John, and a word to the wise... You might want to stay away from airport metal detectors for a couple of weeks.

What do you suppose is cracking in Nicks side of the ring?;

"Well... I dont normally share stuff of the political nature, I find it can be a touchy subject. However this song not only rules but is awesomely great. You likey the flobots?

Be good ride bikes !

I would also like to note... I recently took a job with El Corpo myself. I now work in Cambridge MA, tell Tim they are way ahead of his thoughts on a bicycle revolution of sorts. Fixies, mtbs, cross.. guys in suits on fixies... Its kinda rad. yeah

Nick"

Yeah Nick, Me likey The Flobots, but me no likey riding bikes with no handlebars. It makes me feel the sensation of momentary drowning.

Thuston writes, regarding 'the family that slays together';

"Hopefully one of your other bacon fueled minions has alerted you to the existence of this:

I'm pretty sure Steve Harris is trying on Pikachu t-shirts for Maiden's next tour.
-Thurston
Boise, ID."

As I just wrote back to Thurston, JMac has kept me abreast of the families development. In this, what I believe to be one of the first clips available, youll notice that there are little toys and artifacts of childhood scattered about the room, but in more recent clips, the room transforms into a real live practice pad.

And finally Josh from the Urban Assault Ride Tour fame wrote in with an update on his most recent event;

"The Swobo gear was a huge hit in Portland this weekend. This gentleman had such a large and impressive mustache, I just had to hang a Swobo sticker on it.

Thanks for all of your support. Swobo made an impressive showing in the PacNW over the last two weekends.

So can you two make it out to Austin? 1200 plus riders. Maybe Lance will team up with one of you two.

Heres a few more from thisd weekend-

Pic 1
Pic 2
Pic 3
Pic 4
and
a photo of Rock Racing’s Doug Ollerenshaw.

Take care,
Josh"

Id love to make it to one of these, as they look like short of jumping my bike into the pool at the playboy mansion, its just about as much fun as one could have on a bicycle, though I have to say the last time I limboed on a tiny bike, the crotch of my jumpsuit kinda got tangled in the back wheel, which resulted in disaster for me, and I just dont think thats the kind of unprofessionalism that Lance is used to dealing with.

Now finally, its with a gigantic amount of pride and pleasure that I notify one and all about an extraordinarily unique event thats about to take place in Minneapolis from our man Charles;

"Closing Night Party for the Imaginary Bags show-
Saturday, June 7 @ 7:00PM
Featuring DJ Millions Billionz and live music by The Haves Have It.
(You can also hear them on the video on the Imaginary Bags website, listed below.)

Imaginary Bags is a silent auction and fundraising event featuring unique Crumpler messenger bags created by artists and designers from the Minnesota biking community. All proceeds benefit the Mark Loesch Memorial Fund.

For more information about the event, visit Imaginary Bags(dot)com.

Sponsored by Crumpler, and One On One Bicycle Studio.

P.S. If you're on Facebook, please join the Imaginary Bags group"

Yours truly has had the honor of being included in this one of a kind hodown, and have immersed myself in an epic array of begging, borrowing and stealing in order to procure a plane ticket to get myself out for the event, so if youre in these neck of the woods, wont you please come by for the closing event and say hello?

So for now, thats just about it. We hope that everyone is feeling as refreshed and rejuvenated as the lot of us here in Swoboland do.

To wrap this post up well just leave you with this...

And on that note, get back to work.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) |

This in from Dave. Oh good god.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 11:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) |

And a back up from Brian just for good measure.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 06:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) |

One morning in 1991, I woke up, turned to my girlfriend, and said "it feels like earthquake weather."
Later that day, and into the evening, the Oakland firestorm unfolded, burning almost 3,000 homes, and 1,500 acres. Thursday morning I woke up, turned to a different girlfriend and said "I had a dream we lived in Amsterdam." As the day progressed, another possible firestorm developed.

The thought that went through my head?
"Gods country is on fire."

As I descended from the summit, I began taking pictures randomly in an attempt to capture the action.

The thoughts that went through my head?
"This aint such a bad commute."
and
"So thats how my balls see the world."

Riding through town on my way to a pre-work/ post-ride coffee I came across this guy. I pulled my camera out to snap a shot of his badness, and my battery was dead. Cursing under my breath, I scrambled riding no handed through traffic to procure my spare.

The thought that went through my head?
"Shiny silver shirts and department store mountain bikes with no seats is no way to go through life."

Then after plowing through a day of work, I got an email from Galen;

"New Belgium Brewing swung through Seattle on their first leg of the Urban Assault Ride Tour...

They raffled out a bunch of cool schwag, and Swobo had a healthy showing... Including this sweet Hat I won, and is modeled by my girlfriend Kim.

thanks Swobo
-Galen"

The thought that went through my head?
"Youre very welcome Galen, Im glad you had a blast, and Kims a babe."

Ferrentino forwarded a photo that was taken of GenO and myself after we accidentally knocked the wall down at the bar the night before Single Speed Worlds in Minneapolis.

The thought that went through my head?
"Ohhhhhhyyeeeeaaaahhhhh... I think I remember that...."
And as this crazy guy named George that I messengered with used to say;
"Destruction delayed is destruction denied."

Keith emailed us with a new Friday Hero;

"Stevil,

While I must admit to the small grain of pride that the "All week hero" is a local boy, the Best Buy Dance guy is just oozing with Friday Hero-ness.

If only we could all possess such passion.

K"

The thought that went through my head?
"Keith, I think its nobile that you nominated your dad for Friday Hero."

Otis sent us an email as well;

"Stevil,

The recent departure of my job is for sure a definition of the bummer life clipping a pedal in front of me and taking things for a nasty sideways turn. However, the timing aligned with the arrival of my new Ira Ryan cross bike, so the world decided to smile on me at the same time that it spit in my beer. Funny how that works. So, unemployment + new bike=non-bummer times!

Since I've been ogling your new rides for a while now, I thought I would share mine. Rather than just another mood shot, with soft lighting and shiny bits, I've added props. Namely me, and this lovely lady of the two-wheeled scene, who was intent on defiling my new ride while we cheered the poor souls gutting out stage 2 of the Mt. Hood Classic the other day. Also included is a snapshot of her posse. Some may tire of hearing of it, but: Oh yeah, Portland rules.

Peace,

Otis"

The thought that went through my head?...
Well to be honest, there are lots. One might have something to do with the fact that that bike is just about the finest thing Ive ever laid eyes on. The second thing is I want to profess my undying love to every woman in Portland. The third thing is that Otis' fork makes my heart bleed with yearning, and the last thing is that I want to profess my undying love to every woman in Portland again.

And speaking of fine bicycle craftsmanship, Sean From Soulcraft sent in a new design hes been working on;

All of the info you could ever want about this revolutionary piece of equipment is right here..
Hm. And they said the wheel couldnt be reinvented...

Sean also sent this tidbit on;

"Stevil,
A customer of mine read your post about Metallica and said that even though he's not a fan of their music, he went ahead and illegally downloaded 180 of their songs just out of spite. Glorious."

And to that I reach my hands to the heavens and belt out a hearty "AMEN!"

Did you all know Jay just made a baby?

JPW has some thoughts as well, though they have nothing to do with Jays baby;

"I saw this flyer from Bike Swarm on flickr and thought it needed passing on."

Riding a bike to a bike ride? That is the most ridiculous thing Ive ever heard of. Ask anyone who knows me and theyll tell you that I dont go on a single bike ride that doesnt include at least one $45,000 vehicle.

How about a cartoon moment?

The thought that went through my head?
"Oh my good lord, Im glad its Friday."

Now then. Did somebody say 'rim job'?
...I mean 'alleycat race'?

On this side of the tracks, the moustache bash that Ive been training up and training down for is this weekend, and as my father used to tell me every time I walked out the door to engage in some battle or another, whether it be a soccer game, or going out to cut wood- "Come home a winner, or dont come home at all."

The thought that went through my head?
"I WILL come home a winner, and then I probably WONT come home at all."

As Im so, very, very fond of saying "Turn it to 11 and then break the knob off."

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 05:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (13) |

Over the last several weeks Ive gotten an increase of inquiries about the bicycles that I ride... Why, Im not entirely sure, but with a tip of the hat to Big Jonny and his periodic display of steeds, I now present you mine.

It was during an afternoon of woefully half assed, and extraordinarily overdue bike washing that not only was the theme song from 'The Courtship of Eddies Father' playing loops in my head, but I began reflecting on just how infrequently I undertake this activity. In fact I recalled being on a road ride in the Oakland hills many years ago and a friend of mine rode up behind me saying he didnt recognize me due to the sparkly cleanness of my bike. It was at that point that I vowed to make bike washing a more regularly scheduled part of my bike maintenance, but like they say, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, and thats about as far as that vow went.

Anyhow, lets get on with it.

First up is 'The Unruly Schooly', named after the poor sap Schooly of the Boise Warlock fame who in a fit of desperation sold this bike to me for far less than he would have under different circumstances perhaps. For years when we messengered together, I was secretly coveting this bike until I finally caught him in a moment of weakness. Dont worry though Schools.. I put together a living will and should I meet up with an untimely passing, shes coming back to you.
Unless you actually are responsible for said untimely passing, in which case my mom gets it.

My ugly townie, bar, derby, rain bike. After so many years of cobbling together various town bikes with ill fitted fenders and mismatched everything, a couple of years ago I decided to put together something that actually works, and that she does.
Secondly, when turning the bike over in the yard to dry it, I cant say I was terribly surprised by the serial number.

My Hunter cross bike. Its never carried me to victory, in the traditional sense, but Ive ridden this bike to lengths that no ordinary cross bike should be ridden and its never flinched. Plus I experienced my most spectacular crash ever on it. Suffice it to say, I came out in far worse shape than the bike did.

The Soulcraft Dirtbomb. What can I say about this bike that I already havent? Its a peach of a bike, and its named after one of my favorite bands. I probably ride it more than any of my other bikes presently because not only does it fill the narrow gap between a cross bike and a mountain bike, but the good people at Soulcraft have actually foolishly undertaken sponsoring me with all of the trappings included. After years of racing I finally got a sweet contract once I quit.
Whoever said quitters never win never met me.
Plus, as of Monday night, this is what its supposed to look like..

My Sycip road bike which was built for me in trade for a painting by the skilled hands of Mo Rebolledo when he was still in the brothers employ. In the five years or so that Ive had this bike, weve logged literally thousands of miles together. Its helped me recover from heartbreak, hangovers, work week doldrums, and caffeine jitters. As a side note of possible interest, I also traded Scot Nicol a painting for the tube set, shortly after Ibis closed their doors in Sebastopol. This might very well be the only Sycip in existence with Ibis dropouts.

If youve been paying attention to The Bummer Life for some time, then youll no doubt recognize the 'Flames Brown' built for me by Curtis Inglis. It by far is the most dressed up of any of my bikes with its retarded bass boat gold and purple and white flame paint job. Really the only environment that this bike wouldnt look totally out of place would be a gay pride parade.

Hands down, more than any of my bikes, my Blue Collar built for me by Robert Ives would be considered the work horse of my collection. This bike has been beaten and abused in more locations across North America then any of my bikes. Its like a punching bag. I abuse and neglect it well beyond reason, and it never asks why.

And the baby of the bunch. The new Circle A- Poor thing doesnt yet realize just what a rough road lies ahead for it.

I also have a sparkly blue Hunter geared mountain bike which I love very much, but is on loan to my friend Joe while hes in town, and a single speed cross frame built for me by Todd before he was calling his gig 'Black Cat Bicycles'.

I desperately wanted him to call his company 'Retodded', and then join forces with Sofa King, as there really wasnt any company I could ever see coming out of retirement to race for aside from the SOFA KING RETODDED team, but he didnt go for it. I even had a kit in mind, but that is another story for another time.
At any rate, the Retodded frame is waiting for a new batch of goodies to be thrown on, and then the collection will be complete.

You know.. For now.

So there you have it. The whole array of wildly neglected, but dearly loved bikes in all of their freshly washed glory. Now Ive got nothing ahead of me but another six months of making them dirty again.

And finally in completely unrelated news, Ive proudly made my mark on the world with an entry to the Urban Dictionary.
That glow you see on the horizon is my beam of pride.
Many thanks to Cowles for imparting that particular moniker on me oh, so many years ago.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 06:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (19) |

Im nether here nor there on the debate whether or not to spank a child, but if young Latarian Milton were my child, theres a good chance I would beat him to death.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 06:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (28) |

I got an email link to a Craiglist posting from Josh saying that the fellow therein would probably make a suitable Friday Hero.
Well wouldnt you know it, as soon as I got home to put the finishing touches on Fridays post, the ad had been flagged by the Craigslist community. Lucky for you, Im a bit of a time traveler myself, and I sensed that the world was against people like us, so I took a computer generated snap shot of said ad.
Screw Friday Hero. For the first time in history Id like to present to you How to Avoid The Bummer Lifes 'All Week Hero'.

-Dude obviously has a little bit of ninja in him.

And while were on the topic of ninjas, why not show your support for Obama with one of these Obama spoke cards?

However if Barack isnt your cup of tea, you could pick up yourself a Hillary endorsed SupremeO Quill Stem High Rise Extendo-Matic©, or just throw all of your eggs in one basket and got to John McCain is your new bicycle (dot) com and do whatever the hell it is youre supposed to do there.

Johnny recently wrote in with an item that really should at some point end up in my posession, but as long as he has a breath in his lungs, probably wont;

"I work part time at the uppity uptown racer shop in MPLS (Flanders) and they have a wool jersey from the mid eighties on the wall from when their sponsor was Budweiser. One of the owners said he still had a long sleeve version that may fit my figure. We can derby for it next time you're up this way. And by derby for it, I mean we'll derby and I'll still keep it.
-Johnny"

Some guys have all the luck.

I was in Chicago for the last trade show they had there several years ago, and there was a clothing manufacturer in attendance who had a Budweiser jersey on display. Stupidly I asked if I might be able to procure the item, to which they responded with a fairly simple "no".
In hindsight I realized that I just should have stolen it. Karmas got nothing to do with anything when it comes to Budwesier jerseys.
I think theres a bumper sticker in there somewhere....

Joe recently wrote in with some insight on what BMX and professional photographers have in common;

"Yo Stevil,

Photographer Amy Stein noticed how many photographers rode BMX as a kid.

You've got to see this photo of Mark Hobson and family -- it's inspiring.

Heres my entry.

Rock,

Joe"

Marks moustache is staggering.

Patrick wrote in with something Bacon-ie;

"Not at all what I thought it was- click here."

I never even thought of including Francis Bacon in any of these posts. After all, hes got the name to beat all names and he made a ton of art that didnt suck. He is a very favorite painter of mine, and had a pretty incredible outlook on his good fortune of being one of contemporary arts greats.

In interviews Id read he often times would reflect on how he might go to Monaco to gamble and party with his friends. Hed blow thirty million dollars on Blackjack or whatever, and then return to England, knock out a painting and settle his debt.
There was a pretty great film that came out about the life and times of Francis called Love is the Devil in which Derek Jacobis portrayal of the artist was so staggeringly accurate, friends of Bacon were quoted as saying they thought they were watching his ghost. An interesting side note is that the Bacon estate refused to allow any of his paintings to be used in the film, so many of the shots were actually set up to mimic his paintings compositions.

The only criticism Bacon ever received was that in 50 years of painting his style hardly ever changed, the frustration for which hed occasionally express. The nature of making art is to evolve, and once one is embraced by critics and collectors alike, the evolution of ones style doesnt come as naturally as it should. You become pigeonholed and afraid to have your community turn their collective backs on you.
The art world is truly as fickle of one as they come.

Obviously though, the 86 million dollar price tag that the above tryptic fetched last week doesnt really serve as any indication of this.

And while Bacon is still fresh on our pallets, John from Hayes got ahold of us with a little rocket science;

"Stevil, likely an old one for you as by the time these things reach the tech department they’re 15yrs old, but it still applies today.

FWIW, if you haven’t had Nueske’s bacon, you haven’t had bacon. I prefer the black peppered, double thick, apple wood smoked cooked on a grill. Nothing says up nort’ like that. Cheers on ya."

I hadnt actually seen that, and due to the sheer volume of bacon related emails I get here, it comes as a bit of a surprise.

Anyway, lets get back to some bike nerd-dom, shall we?
This in from Jim;

"Stevil,

Here's a pic I took of my workbench. Hanging above is my '81 Bianchi Superleggera. Below that is a new Bianchi "bike"(?) that was in for repair.

I have titled the picture "When did it all go wrong?" Perhaps Sky would enjoy this pic. By the way, the '81 steel-on-steel weighs 20lbs. The new one, with carbon frame, fork, crank, seatpost and handlebar weighs............20lbs! Hooray for progress!

JP"

Jim, I know Im preaching to the choir here, but in the bicycle world I believe thats commonly referred to as 'planned obsolescence'.
Hooray for progress indeed.

Speaking of carbon, Im sure you all remember my Soulcraft fork debacle back in October.. For those of you who dont, allow me to refresh. I had just completed a marathon journey with Willie to Sacramento for a single speed rally, then a drive to Petaluma for a Halloween party, and then the long road home with my new custom frame and fork in tow.
Of course I couldnt just rest up and get my head straight that night.. No way... I began the preliminary assembly, with an emphasis on 'ass' as I ended up doing the unthinkable by cutting the steerer too short. Luckily I had a spare True Temper carbon fork which I threw on, but you know, despite all of the tests Ive read, and bomb proof reputation of these forks, every time I rode, I couldnt shake the image of Gorgeous George at the 2006 Roubaix going doooowwwnnnnn;

Would I have the cat like reflexes to throw the bars and guide myself to safety holding onto the fork crown?
Probably not.
Anyway in an email from Sean he said that that this week I should expect the UPS person to come bearing something "long, brown and uncut", so Im assuming that either a new steel fork will be arriving directly or Seans buying me off with a Pepperidge Farms summer sausage, which I have nearly as profound an appreciation for.
...Or hes got a surprise UPS strip-o-gram which Im totally emotionally unprepared for.

Newt and Jim both sent this tidbit on.. Jim writes;

"I don't know if this is for real, but if it isn't, it oughtta be.

Dinner in a bottle(dot)com

Mmmmmm... Bacon & Eggs flavored sports drink.

Jim"

Thats a travesty of nature. All these people getting their panties in a bunch over same sex marriage? Meat water is really what they should be attacking.

As we all know May is bike to work month. As most of you Im sure do not know, this Wednesday is drive your bike to work day. The Skipper and I have been celebrating this day all month long. First I drive my bike to his house, then load it into his truck. Then he drives his truck with both of our bikes, and I drive my truck backwards behind him to the warehouse, and we roshambo for the parking spot.
Theres really nothing like it to make yourself feel good about life.

So a few weeks ago I made a promise to some friends down in Florida that I would post this flyer for their race.

As I just emailed them, the last two weeks have been so nuts that the flyer got lost in the shuffle of my inbox. I am such a bastard. Begging their pardon, I should also note that they provided me with this weeks header photo of Spencer taking the leap. Ifin you get an itch, take a peek at their Flickr page.
As always, Im a day late and a dollar short.

Speaking of which, I just got an email from Captain Dave;

"I bet on the horse named "Stevil" in the Preakness. You lost me $5, you asshole."

It really is the story of my life.

So check this out- Over the course of a long and relaxing road ride this weekend, as usual I got hit in the face with several large bugs. You know, its Spring time, and the swarms are hatching. Every time I got pegged, it reminded me to keep my mouth more closed than open. Well at one point I glanced down to my right and noticed something amiss in my peripheral vision.
The short version of the horror I experienced was something large, like a cricket or perhaps a wasp found itself ensnared within the hairy labyrinth of my upper lip. I shit you negative my people. I caught a huge insect in my moustache which was stuck there for several large swallows of water and for what I estimated to be at least a quarter of a mile.
Once again, the count down for getting rid of this damned thing is on, and Im reasonably certain that no amount of supportive emails will aid in changing my mind.

And now finally, Ill leave you with a rant as only Mr. Keith Olbermann can produce.

Keith says all of the things Id like to if I had a broader vocabulary, and I never had to inhale.

On that note, Im gonna get on with my bad self to the ball and chain of another work week.
Giddyup.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 03:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) |

In another life Im gonna be Mick Collins.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 08:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) |

First off, it should be noted that photography superstar, Sam Adams kicks a ton of ass.

Now then- Im sad to report that for me Wednesday had no ride, or hijinx. What Wednesday did have was another 11 hour day of scaling pallet shelving and getting the goods out the door.

You know, as Ive said before, Im a simple man with simple needs. By my own choice I have very little social life, I dont eat much, Im mostly house broken, and generally when Im feeling in need of a break, instead of taking time off to go lay on a beach, go camping, or whatever regular people do when they go on vacation, I simply peel off on the bike for a few hours, drink some beer and maybe nap in the woods somewhere..
Im reasonably certain that Im finally in a place that no amount of alcohol or miles on the bike will cure.

Thats not to say that Im in the mental state that Christopher McCandless was in in Jon Krakauers book 'Into The Wild', but hitting the road to maintain a healthy metal state is looming on the distant horizen.
That being said, should you tune in here one day and then the next and then the next and the same spew is staring back at you over and over again, that might be an indication that I finally lost my mind and am exercising the old hitch hiking thumb.

The Go Gos were probably onto something.

Anyhow, lets get on with it, shall we?

First off I should remind you all that this weekend up there in Seattle is the first of the Urban Assault Ride Series events, and if you know whats good for you, youll get to it.

Really how can you go wrong with big wheels, bikes, and beer? The only other Bs you need would be bananas and broccoli, and Im sure youd be able to find those around somewhere.

I suppose the final B you might need would be Brendan, and lucky for you, hes right here;

"Stevil --

An old pal of mine sent me this video, reminding me of a conversation we once had, in which I told him about my old football coach repeatedly telling us in the pregame huddle, "These guys put their pants on one leg at a time, just like us. So let's go out there and blah blah blah ..." and I talked about how fucked we'd be if we ever met a team that was somehow able to put their pants on two legs at a time.

Well, we have seen the enemy, and he is these dudes. Particularly great is how ecstatic the guy holding the pants is when they pull off a successful maneuver. Genuine excitement.

Hope you're having a good week.

Brendan Leonard"

Ive seen that video around, and all I have to say is how is it some folks are blessed with so much free time?

An old timer of the Swobo family that goes by the name of Mike D wrote an article about these cats that are for lack of a better term, absolutely bat shit crazy. Im about to link the trailer for the documentary that recently has been done about them but before you watch it, be forewarned. Place a pillow on your keyboard, cause as soon as you peep this clip, your jaws gonna be smacking it.
Take a deep breath and lay your eyes on Scrapper.

Regular Bummer Life reader Barton wrote to us about a bike bash hes throwing in Boise. (A few more Bs you need.) He gushed and made me think that it most likely promises to be a good time, as does most of what we hear about in Boise these days.
Just click on his name up at the top there to get the link and the skinny.

Photographer extraordinaire, and regular contributor to the Bummer Lifes header photos, R. Kurtz has also filled us in on a bicycle event happening out there in Virginny.

Then Kevin sent in an image in response to the photo of the zebra striped body suit girl from Monday;

Im sure shell be touched, and perhaps will be inspired to bring out more treasures from her closet.

From time to time, Im graced with an email from The Bike Snob. They usually have just a few well chosen words and maybe some footage of Ted Dansons face superimposed on Bruce Springsteens body singing 'Dancing in the dark' or something equally absurd.
Well Wednesday was no different with this offering;

I totally want to party with that moppet.

How about we have an 'art that doesnt suck' moment? Scott and Ashley both sent this in and Im still trying to wrap my mind around what it is that Im seeing. Though its not doing backflips in a pair of pants, its still pretty kick ass.

Prepare yourself for the genius of MUTO.

We recently received a communiqué from Sean at Soulcraft further confirming my theory that the only thing lamer than a douchebag is a douchbag with power.

"Stevil,
A little something for you. I've been riding this trail (and through this gate) for a little over 20 years without incident. The trail winds its way above the hills between Fairfax and Terra Linda/Lucas Valley
in Marin.
On the other side of the fence is private land and the previous owner didn't care too much if you passed through as long as you closed the gate behind you. At one point I believe that the Open Space sign actually stated that the property had become Open Space or at least it was "officially" O.K. to roll through. On Saturday I see that it's been closed off with barbed wire and at least 10 "no trespassing" signs.

You could tell that something (or someone) had drastically changed. Turns out that a few years back a celebrity type bought the property and hired an ex-policeman to manage the property, hence the not so-subtle "keep the F out" vibe. Also turns out that said celebrity is none other than James Hetfield of
Metallica.

I really like Metallica, or I did in the early days, and I don't like to judge someone's work on what they do in their personal time but I think I've made up my mind on at least one point:
James Hetfield is a paranoid shitbag."

I feel the same way, and if you dont agree with us, just watch the Metallica documentary 'Some Kind of Monster' or better yet, just read my glowing movie review.

Im gonna leave you with this video clip that The Skipper sent to me. I love everything about this piece, plus its got a nice song by Priestess as a soundtrack and if you dont think its as funny as I do, then its obvious that you dont have the sense of humor of a third grader.

Gary knows what Im talking about, otherwise he wouldnt have sent us this;

Theres really nothing I love more then a ragdolling body. You know.. as long as its not mine.
-Amen.

Congratulations on making it through yet another week, to yet another Friday.
Signing off never felt so good.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 06:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) |

Posted by Stevil on walkabout at 02:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) |

Happy drink-beer-then-ride-your-bike-to-work-month.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 09:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) |

I like mail just about more than anyone Ive ever known. Due to my aforementioned OCD there was a time Id check my P.O. box several times in a day just hoping for a postcard, a zine or some other message in a bottle brought to me by the nice lady whos only body part I ever saw was hands and part of her face through the little metal hole in the wall.

Monday I got a very nice and unexpected surprise from some friends at Doma Coffee. Six bags of the brown goodness, two of which I pulled out and presented to The Skipper. Now its not often I hear any grown man squeal with glee, but he did just that. Its with the utmost sincerity that I offer humble thanks for this gift, and suggest that should any of you be in the market for some supremely delicious coffee beans, contact Doma post haste.

El Gato sent on another email containing a link to a barrage of weirdness;

"Stevil,

Cyclocross hecklers avoiding the bummer life in a Phillipino Prison.

Lots of great clips....sorry, no WhiteSnake as far as I can tell.

Also love the intro lines "Some people really can't believe that this prison dance actually is happening and it has proven to be an effective tool for transforming extremely negative people into positive individuals."

Or one might say.....heckle at a 'cross race, spend the next 5 years rehashing Michael Jackson correography.

El Gato"

Ive watched the 'Thriller' clip several times before, and I still cant quite wrap my mind around what Im seeing, but truth be told, El Corpo, The Skipper and I have all used the art of dance for months to resolve conflict within the ranks of the company.
There really is no argument that a little synchronized poppin' and lockin' cant take care of.

And know this.. If this was the punishment for heckling at cross races, you can bet that the lot of us would be the bitch of every single Belgian to ever throw some profanity (a cup of beer, cowbell, small child, etc.) into the middle of a cyclocross race.
Those people are fierce.

And speaking of fierce, Erin the sales maven and Sky went one a short walk about to Austin this past weekend and hung around the celebration of that Lance guys new shop Mellow Johnny's.. Ifin you feel so inclined, you can read up on the melee at Bike Radar (dot)com, or if you wish, a more home grown account at The Bike Snob.

Heres a picture of some bikes at the bike shop. Youll notice that theyre very shiney bikes, and the wall behind them is made of brick. Totally.

Now then, why dont I share this site that DPow! graced us with on Monday morning?
Sit back and soak up some famous moustaches.

C.D from King had some choice words for me regarding the pictures of my handsome, handsome new steed;

"My ride to work this morning was powered by a rage that only the envy of XTR cantilevers can sustain. While you are deserving of them, I loathe you nonetheless.
Good day, sir.

DiStefano"

C.D. spent a fair amount of time in the employ of Shimano, and Im shocked that he doesnt have a garage full of the things. Or maybe he does, and hes just hoarding.
You know how bike nerds operate.

Nick sent us this article about the rising gas prices resulting in a bit of a boom in the bike world.

I dont know why, but this article kind of reminds me of one time when I was wrenching in a shop and San Franciscos channel 4 news anchor came in with his camera man. I yelled "Pete Shapiro!" and he walked back to me and inquired if he could interview me about the dot com bust that was happening in the Bay Area at the time. He then asked me if I thought that it would have an ill effect on my employment. I said "Pete, I was broke before the dot com boom, I was broke during the dot com boom, and Id imagine Ill be broke after the dot com boom, cause Pete... Broke is broke."

I watched the news that evening with great anticipation, and they cut the whole interview. There was just footage of me polishing whatever turd was in my stand at the time and they simply said "Stevil Kinevil of Mikes Bikes in Berkeley said he doesn't think the bust will effect him."

And so one more chance at my fifteen seconds of fame was flicked like a booger.

Anyhoo- Slappy and his alter ego, Max from The Stomarillaz tag teamed in with a bunch of gobldegook about their recent Xtracycle bash;

"HIo, another friday night, in fact last friday night.. I was also drinkin' Jack and rockin' out, but at that time I was also seeing shit in the throes of HOT antici-pation . . For the midnight start of the 18 hrs of Fruita. I suppose, had my faculties been a lil more "about" me, it may have been possible to discern that this was to be The Greatest Bike Race so far para me. BUt Hot Damn! A week has passed, the glow has been sufficiently basked in. The STompaRillaz XTracycle Race Squad has regained some equilibrium, I guessmaybe. And so I find myself left with a query, a question for all you thinkIn' folks out there . Ifn' said Stomparillaz, aRe the greatest XtraSncycle Race Squad Ever.. Where is the competition gonna come from? The future i suppose. . peas.. slappy

STevil, not gonna lie, I think I blacked out for a minute there, or at least in the parlance of our times, ascended into the next hyperlank known and wrote posted to your readership.. . wheew.. Hay, bye the bye, After SSWC I'm gonna ride an Xtracycle to Brooklyn, maybe you know some sponsors, who make wool I can wear the whole time basically, HA !!
Oh here's another idea, maybe your capacities could equal Collab of sorts.. SSWC special gear, I've always wanted to design a hat.. you know, where there isn't as much sharpie.. ok seeya MaX"

For the love of god, would somebody please get them a keyboard thats not broken?

In all honesty, I dont know where the competition is going to come from. Those cats in Murderapolis were rocking the Xtracycles in a big way, but once Surlys big Dummy hit the scene, I think the Xtras got hung up in the closet.

While the subject of SSWC is fresh on my puddle of a mind, El Corpo and I have been brainstorming about a very special and limited edition jersey to debut this year. We spoke briefly about bringing the old beer mug jersey out for another go around, but you know, its just not our style to do something twice. Ive poured over literally hundreds of stock embroidery samples, and although Ive settled on one, the jury is still out in the corner office.
That being said, Id like to take a second and present for you all, for the first time anywhere, what might possibly be the crest proudly emblazoned upon the chest of this years Single Speed world Championship commemorative jersey.
Take a deep breath and drink it all in.

Like The Skipper said "single gear, single wheel. Same difference, right?"

And finally, Patrick writes to us with a subject that as you all know, is near and dear to our hearts;

"Ess Kay,

Delivered an envelope to what may be as close to your dream address as possible: 606 Bacon Drive.

There is no 666 Bacon Drive or I'm sure I would have seen you unloading your moving van into the garage as I rolled by.

Sorry the picture quality is so crappy, I took it with a cell phone.

P77
Northstar Cycle Courier,
Warlocks BC Boise, Idaho"

Out in the deepest, darkest recesses of San Franciscos Bay View district there actually is a 666 Bacon Street. Ive often enjoyed entertaining fantasies of residing there, but its usually interrupted with the harsh realization that my time would most likely be cut short with a bullet falling on my head, as that sort of thing is about as common in that neighborhood as grass growing, so until I procure some bullet proof head gear, or perhaps develop a skull as thick as Garros, I imagine Im going to be staying put.

I will leave you with a flyer that I was sent for an alleycat race in our backyard that we threw some goodies to. Its for just girls, mind you so if you are one, like bikes, and wanna get down with some of your own, get to it.

The countdown is on for me having nothing left to say. Throw your horns in the air, and rejoice that tonight we all deserve to howl at the moon.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 08:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) |

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 08:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) |

This little number sauntered though our domain the other day, showing off her new stretchy and stripey body suit that she had just procured.
Digging through my box of goodies to find a suitable parting gift, I pulled out a Damn Yankies shirt that Chevil Kinevil recently sent to me, at which time, and with no hesitation, she began to serenade me with a stunning rendition of 'Can You Take Me Higher?'
There was no doubt that the shirt would soon belong to her, and might I say that she wears it well.
Sometimes life around here is not alot unlike that in a Whitesnake video.

Speaking of Chevil, I spoke on the phone the other day with a fellow whod mentioned that 'he knew my brother'.

I corrected him by saying that he was in fact, as they say, a brother from another mother, which got me to thinking.. Its it possible to actually become related to someone of a different familial genetic make up after so many experiences of bodily fluids being swapped?
To explain the implication would further jeopardize my good standing at church, but suffice it to say, the bond thats created by blood, vomit, tears and saliva would have to make any two people closer than say, just friends.

Reading through the new issue of BIKE Magazine the last few days, theres a couple of articles that have struck my fancy. Furry Knuckle presents a great view of life through the eyes of a man, like myself, who battles with the process of time. Its worth a read, should you get your hands on a copy. Theres also an extraordinarily good article written by Rick Hunter about his experience in last summers Great Divide Race. Sure we all knew he could build the hell out of a bike, but who knew he was such an amazing word smith?
I certainly didnt. In a recent email correspondence, I was drawing a parallel between his article, and LL Cool Js album 'Bigger and Deffer'.
Like Ricks account, LL packs references to food into just about every other line of his rhymes. Upon mentioning this to him, he simply replied with "the hamburger is my spirit animal."

And he can play the hell out of some ping pong as well.
A true renaissance man if there ever was one.

New bike wood is full blown Sylvester Stalone in this neck of the woods, though I ran into a snag thats gonna keep me from really freaking out on it for a little while....and no, it had nothing to do with the fork steerer.

A new BB and rear axle will do the trick, and the rad will be gotten shortly.
You wanna nerd out with me for a second?
Lets do that. First off, why not gaze into some XTR cantis, and custom Hunter fork;

Campy high flange track hubs? (This pisses the purists off to no end, which makes me all warm and gooey inside), and hand built tied and soldered wheels, courtesy of Phil "Woo" Woosely of Berkeleys Missing Link Bicycle Cooperative.

Have you all read Bob Rolls book by chance? The Woo referred to in those pages is the same Woo to which Im referring. Hes tall, wears glasses, trains secretly, races bikes, and can build the holy hell out of a wheel.

And finally, the icing on the cake;

They even spelled my first initial correctly. Youd be surprised how often its misspelled 'ass'

Robert forwarded a video that he thought would make for an appropriate accompaniment to last weeks granola bar ad;

So thats what happens when folks in the advertising business drop acid?
It was kinda reminiscent of that old horror flick 'The Fog', except instead of cannibalistic pirate ghosts emerging from the horizon, its cannibalistic arian Oompa Loompas.

Rich wrote in to remind us that according to the world population count, early Saturday morning we reached 6,666,666,666 people on Earth.
I waited with bated breath, and I experienced not even a twinge of the apocalypse. No four horsemen, no fire and brimstone.. Nothing.
For a second I thought something was happening, but it just turned out to be gas.
He also included a bunch of shots of lunch meat with faces built in.

Ive seen the bumper sticker declaring that the individual in the car would never eat anything with a face, and I suppose this product sort of gives that sentiment a whole new spin.

Our boy Tim the Masi guy is finally out of the hospital and enroute to recoveryville.

True, he looks like ten miles of bad road, but hes the most optimistic ten miles of bad road youll ever lay eyes on. Tim, while you have a little bit of down time on your hands, why dont you get cracking on that novel youve been working on..

Or...Like I mentioned on Friday, start building model cars... I love building model cars.
In fact, email me a proper shipping address for me, and Ill send you one. Trust me, nothing aids in the healing process like sniffing glue.

And while were on the topic of sniffing glue in San Diego, a band thats often times referred to with great admiration in the nearly two years of doing this web log is San Diegos late, great Rocket From The Crypt. They were no Damn Yankies, but they still were pretty good.

Anyway, it was at the bands last show on Halloween 2005 that they made this final recording, which is now available on Vagrant Records along with a DVD that was shot on the same night.
If you were unfortunate enough to miss their last hoorah, then by all means, this slab is a must for your collection.

R.I.P.RFTC, long live RFTC.

While out an about in the urban jungle, Greg came across this artifact that leads me to believe that we might have a cease and desist order on our hands;

Or does that say 'Svober'?
Damn graffiti kids and their chicken scratch.

Last week I came across this website that proves that my muppet doppleganger is up to no good.
Bert is evil(dot)com.

Pol Pot was obviously framed.

Alright. What else? I went on a solo road ride on Sunday that is ordinarily about 30 miles long and takes an hour and a half or so. On a lark I took a left where I usually go straight and 20 miles, another hour and a single banana later Im left a shell of my usual self.

Id also like to wish the ladies with the babies that read the Bummer Life a very happy belated Mothers Day. Ashley, Lauren, Mia (almost),.. Im sure theres more, but like I said- 50 miles, one banana, kinda sleepy.

So aside from that is there anything else? Um.. Looks like Ive got nothing. The bag is empty, and the well is dry. Its Monday all day long. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. It will be over shortly.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 05:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (13) |

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 05:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) |

You know, I think the jig is up. Im a one trick pony, (with not nearly as much to present as this little fellow on the left) and perhaps am the last individual to realize it.

I never thought Id say it, but Im tired of expounding on the virtues of bacon, Danzig and moustaches.
This is all reminiscent of a time not so very long ago, when I began to think "I need something more. I want to broaden my horizons and turn my back on bikes and art for a little while."
Well the natural progression was of course to karate and building model cars. I built one fantastic blue metal flake 1965 GTO rag top, which I later gave to my friend Jamie who actually had a real life 1965 GTO, and the karate classes.. Well I never signed up for them.
You see, not only am I a creature of habit, but Im fairly frugal in my ways, and I tend to be attracted to the disciplines that dont suck the money from my wallet like so many money-from-wallet-sucking-vacuums.
Id like to get into remote controlled cars for example, but they tend to cost more then actual cars, plus I have no hand/eye coordination so thats out. Yoga? I always fall asleep in class, and its boring. Off roading in a 4x4 truck? My environmentally conscious side wont allow it, plus, that too is insanely cost prohibitive, and lastly I dont want to mess up my nice dixie flag t-shirt.. I could go on..
But I digress...

My point is that its time to expound on some other worth while aspects of life on this here forum, and perhaps in turn, find myself a new hobby, thereby forging a brand new identity for myself.

So lets start with politics, shall we? DPow! sent an alluring shot on that makes me think perhaps I should go volunteer for Hillary;

"...kind of has its own thing going on....her eyes see you no matter where you are in the room...also it makes me want to use the word "razzledazzle"

Well, while the word 'razzledazzle' is profoundly attractive, the thought of stuffing envelopes and drinking crap coffee from styrofoam cups beneath fluorescent lights isnt terribly appealing to me. Besides, the only thing that I really think about when looking at that shot is how incredibly fetching Id look in that pant suit.

Maybe I could periodically expound on cats;

But then again, El Corpo hates cats, and Ive seen him fire people for less, so that probably wont work.

Or how about appliances that no home should be without, like this one that Ashley sent to us?

I have an old friend named Pete who is as crafty an individual as they come, and upon walking into the kitchen of the barn that hed refurbished, I noticed an item not unlike this thats depicted, but it was one hed actually built. Thats right, he built his own two door refrigerator complete with a tap in the right side door and a special spot inside just for kegs.
He said that if it didnt work, at least his dog would end up with a really kick ass dog house.

Anyway, while attempting to stay out of the well worn groves here on the Bummer Life, it seems that Ill inevitably always fall into old habits. For example, as a proud sponsor, its our pleasure to notify you about our pal Josh's upcoming annual, and nationally recognized Urban Assault Ride Series at which one will most definitely be witness to some bicycle messengers© in action.
Maybe some of them will even let you get a picture taken with them for your Myspace page.

But you see, old habits die hard and this post is an attempt at breaking new ground, so lets continue.

Chris truly just wants to help when reminding us of an old haunt of ours with an email about Voo Doo Doughnuts and their bacon maple bar, but hes just enabling with the old standard, albeit delicious fare.

How about this manifesto I scanned from No Duh fanzine, circa 1995;

But then again, that has to do with bikes, and regardless of how it brings a smile to my face, were trying to veer away from the traditional subject matter here, right?

What about traditional subject matter in a non traditional forum? I guess that would be this weeks WTF Award.

Or I could take an opportunity to once again request matter for our wall of shame, right? I havent done that in a while...
All you gotta do is do it.

Swobos all mighty wall of shame
104 Bronson St. #5
Santa Cruz, Ca. 95062

Another aspect of this rigamarole that I might attempt to switch up is the Friday Hero feature that has reared its head from time to time, but generally the Friday Hero is someone that genuinely deserves recognition, and this week is going to end up being no different. Many of you Im sure are familiar with The Fat Cyclist and his virtual presence on your computer.

Well, I think its only right that his better half Susan should be recognized for the epic battle that shes waging, and Fattys efforts to help her emerge victorious.
So heres to you Susan and Fatty as well as all of your kids...
Welcome all of you to the tried and true annals of Friday Herodom.

But while were trying to avoid a bummer life, Im sure the only way to do that cant exclusively involve just Danzig, bacon, Mr. T, or the regular old jackassery right? Maybe we can find something new to embrace in this clip that El Gato sent in;

Yeah.. Thats close. Granola bars? I can do something with that.

After all is said and done, and Im feeling a little better about some new directions to take this here web log, El Corpo conveniently sent on this cool person test.

It looks like no matter what, a tiger just cant change his stripes. With this new found introspection, it looks like we might be sticking to the formula for a while longer.

I mean, can we really go wrong with shots of Bobo,

and what happens when he crashes with a can of beer in his jersey pocket?

Possibly not, but its Friday today, and for the weekend I have a task that Id like for you all to do for me.
I want some of you immerse yourselves in a new discipline like track and field or gymnastics, and others to watch all of the Blade saga.

Then Id like some of you to go hang out with your fat redneck uncles and shoot guns,

and Id like some of you to go perfect your diving skills.

Rest assured, Im going to be doing all of these things so that we can all come together again on Monday and begin to blaze new trails in an attempt at avoiding a bummer life together.

And finally, to conclude Mondays 'how many Swobo items are depicted in the photo pile contest', as near as I can tell, 27. Email me for the details if you wish, but Ive studied the hell out of them, and thats the answer I came up with.
I told you guys I was going to win one of these someday.

despite what El Corpos test indicated to me, I am a winner, and as such its time for me to spread my wings like the big, beautiful butterfly that I am and get the hell out of here.
Might I recommend you all do the same?

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 07:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) |

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 07:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) |

..and you know like they say, sometimes you feel like a nut while other times you dont. After this last end of the month chaos and real life punches to the soul, Ive struggled to get back on the trolly, as it were, in regards to delivering the virtues of avoiding a bummer life but no matter what at least Im not this gal.

So that being said, I appreciate the patience of folks continuing to tune in here day after day and your unconditional encouragement, dispite the fact that theres only 24 hours in a day, and it certainly seems as though I wring the last bit of life out of each and every one of them.

Speaking to my mom the other day she asked where I find the time to work 50 plus hours a week, make art, ride bikes, keep my relationship out of the toilet, and maintain this here weblog, to which I responded "youd be surprised how much more you can accomplish in your life once youve cut out eating and sleeping."

Anyhow, lets get to it, shall we?

Recently Cary sent on a link for the only union I want to be a part of.

A bunch of years ago somebody came up with the bright idea of having a clown party at a dirt bag tiki bar in the avenues of San Francisco. JMac even went so far as to get shirts made for the occasion that said something like 'Local Clowns Union 666' on the back, which reminds me.. I havent seen that one in a while.
Looks like I gotta dig through my hundreds of t-shirts and get that one back into rotation.

El Gato writes;

"Stevil....

Last week you had a post mentioning the high correlation between 5 Knuckle Shuffling and Kitten Mortality. So, if as the BBC sez, a sexually confused seal tries to close the deal with a Penguin, is there exisistential payback....or just a really pissed off penguin?

Read the sordid tale here.

No bikes, but if anybody good turn this into a HTATBL story, it would be you.

Oh, and from here on out NEVER turn your back on a seal!

El Gato"

The only way I can spin this in anyway is to say something like that I can only hope the seal procures a windowless van to round out his whole trip.

Poor little penguin..

Heres one.

Within seconds I got this story sent to me by both big Steve P and DPow!, and within 20 hours of them, twice more.

Obviously great minds think alike.
And it should go without saying that Bill Bramantis mind might be as great as all of ours put together.

And then I get this from John;

"I've heard things. Scary things. A PBR and bacon festival with the crowning event of- you guessed it, a bacon eating contest. Um, meet me in Des Moines next time they have it.

The site,

and the video;

Now understand, I hardly ever begin a sentence with 'dude'.. But DUDE! I can think of alot of ways to get on a fast track to using that coffin, but a bacon eating contest sponsored by Pabst might very well be the most poetic.

Anyway, no sooner do we begin talking about great minds as we get an email from Frank;

"Stevil,
perhaps you are in the market to foster a stray?

So we have an real life frat kid who works at our shop. He provides hours of distraction regalling us with his stories of ill-conceived drinking exploits, the meat sweats and Sorastitute sticky fumblings. Recently though, he clued us into what Swobo's true competition is, or should I say, this company is your doppelganger in the pastel shirt crowd. Tell Tim he has a thing or two to learn from Shep and Ian. Vineyard Vines(dot)com.
Check out the pants collection. "

You know, the most frustrating part about that email is that we spend a huge amount of time and energy putting together new lines from season to season and just when we think weve come up with a well rounded and even more kick ass of a line as the previous year, we find out that somebody has come along and bit our best idea..

And the sandals,.. oh the sandals.

You know how we have items in our catalog all named after specific individuals? Well The Skipper has come up with his own namesake which is the sandal with socks sewn right in. Theyre going to be huge.
Not nearly as huge as the 'Stevil' which is going to be a pair of boxer shorts with the right leg completely vaporized .
And rest assured, well be making them for the ladies as well.

Its ideas like these my friends, that keep us comfortably atop the cutting edge year after year.

CFO and Bryan both simultaneously sent the following clip in;

"Stevil-

Excellent video of another Steven (Steven Cozza) explaining why he rocks the moustace for Slipstream-Chipolte.

Kinda makes me wish my mustache was growing faster.

Peace,
Bryan G"

Bryan, its with every fiber of my being that I tell you never to wish your moustache grew faster. Think of it as a delicate flower blossoming. Each stage as poetic and beautiful as the last until finally you wake up one day and have what is the equivalent of a breath taking orchid on your face.

Like this that Joe sent in;

"this outfit probably said DFL on the back somewhere."

I can just about promise that it does Joe. I can just about promise that it does.

Or this from Tom;

"thought you might appreciate this. on a recent trip tp costa rica i spent 3 days getting my ass kicked by 'moustache man'.

the big guy was fierce and could climb like pantani! must be the stache!"

My god Tinker hasnt aged very well, has he?

And to continue on, Justin wrote in;

"I don't know, but when I headed to the wedding of some real nice friends on the waterfront last Saturday, I thought I might just have the best mustache at the party. When I saw these guys though, I immediately realized that I was racing for third.

So when I read you contemplating the end of your caterpillar earlier this week, I thought I should remind you of the great ones who have come before us. Keep the faith."

I have to say that my momentary lapse of strength last week regarding the removal of my moustache was just that. Ive regained my composure and I genuinely appreciate the support that Ive been shown.
However yesterday I received an email that shook me to my core. It would seem as though the location for this years moustache party is in jeopardy, which means the months of training, not to mention the hundreds of dollars Ive spent on a suitable ensemble might all be for not.

If youre reading this, live in the Bay Area and have a back yard in which youd like to provide for this years bash, get ahold of me and lets see if we cant work out the details.
I can almost guarantee that your house wont get burned down, which might be the reasoning behind the sudden cold feet of our original host.

(*update* The cancelation was just pulled upon my promise to;
1. Not throw knives in the house.
2. Not shoot a BB gun in the house.
3. Not set anything on fire.
And
4. Not fill the hosts water bottles with canned cat food.
For you see, Ive done all of these things there before, and my concern doesnt lie with the host so much, but rather his lovely and overwhelmingly tolerant wife. Every promise I make, I make for her.)

At any rate, it looks like I did it again. A whole post on a bicycle related website with almost nary a mention of bicycles.
Lets see if I cant pull something out of somewhere...

Oooooh! I got something.. Hot City Destroyers are having a bicycle related event right here;

Thats an alley cat race for those of you who are not in the know. You know.. One that you race bicycles at.
It also happens to be taking place in Phoenix. There are lots of bicycles there.

Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle.

Its Wednesday.
Go ride some bacon..

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 07:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) |

but Id like to take a second to proclaim to my friend Matt who passed away this weekend that he was a beautiful man, and I am a lucky person to have been able to call him my friend. Wherever he is Ill bet there are Les Paul guitars and Marshall stacks as far as the eye can see.
I love you Matt.

Posted by Stevil on walkabout at 03:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) |

Rather than fill your eyeballs with words and such, for today Ive taken a trip back through my collection of photos, (most of which were taken by me, and a couple that were not) and Im gonna throw some of them up here because if a picture truly is worth a thousand words, then the following images are worth roughly seventy two thousand...
You know- give or take a few.
Oh, also the first person that can give me the correct number of Swobo brand items depicted herein will win a free Swobo beanie. Now get to the peeping and the counting.

*Sweet...

And heres one for good measure.. JMac in when he was in high school...

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (29) |

A Cookie Monster voice and syncronized hair twirling ...
Is there anything Amon Amarth cant do?

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 11:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) |

They even have a little bit in common. Gravity keeps us from flinging off into the cosmos, broccoli is good for you, Tim Masi is good for you and is presently dealing with issues stemming from an unplanned embrace with gravity, the Wednesday Night Ride was full of levity until some of us, like Tim, met gravity which resulted in a bit of misery..

Am I the only one making the connection here?

That being said, Daniel got ahold of us to let us know our friend The Masi Guy had a run in with the magnetic pull of a pretty bad kind. All the info you might be interested in about this can be found right here.
Get better buddy. Were all pulling for you.

Gravity also proved to us this past Wednesday that even among the toughest of us all, when it comes right down to it, were still its bitch when it wants us to be.
On our way to the meeting spot I was reflecting on the fact that for the last several weeks in a row, Ive been injured either during the ride, or around that time.
Well Id had enough and wasnt going to be subject to fates cruel games any longer, however just shortly after Id made that declaration, I hip checked a tree and tore my keys from my belt loop, losing them amid the dense underbrush.

I eventually abandoned the search and continued on to meet up with the clan. The premise for this weeks feat of strength was simple... Seven teams of two, with the first team member shotgunning a beer, and then Lemans style start to the awaiting steeds. Complete a hot lap, and tag the partner, initiating a second beer shot gun, Lemans sprint, and then ride headlong into oncoming racers.

I got partnered up with the artist formerly known as Retodded, as we laid waste to all comers with our skills and blood thirsty demeanor. Upon Retoddeds return to the course start, we couldnt help but notice that his bars were backwards. Apparently the gods of gravity were none to kind to him as well, as he had a meeting with the tarmac during his run, and as I type, is getting his wrist X-rayed.

Danny B faired only slightly better sliding into home on his face, but got pinched into a curb by a station wagon on the way to food, and once again went DDOOOOWWWNNNNNN....
As we filed into the burrito store, you would have thought we were soldiers coming back in from war.

And lastly, since I was busy claiming my victory, I have no photos except a random assortment of people standing around and one of Todd that makes it look like his arm is broken, which ironically was shot before his arm was actually broken.

You might wonder what would instigate this kind of midweek unruliness. The following picture depicts only a small portion of what The Skipper and I have been immersed in for the last week and a half.

Thats bikes and clothing as far as the eye can see. I even got The Skipper to shoot some footage of whats involved in nearly each and every bike pull I do, though I cant figure out how to transfer the clip so that I can embed it.

The Skipper got nervous and stopped filming, so what you dont see, (if you could see) is that moments into my descent, my foot slipped between the shelves, nearly sending me on a 14 foot plunge straight to the pavement.

Gravity. Sometimes its good, and sometimes its not so good.

Did you all know that this month is National Ride Your Bike to Work Month?

These people didnt.
Of course you all did though...
Or as we know it around these parts, 'Just-Another-Month-of-Riding-my-Bike-to-Work-Month'.

Personally though, Id rather see the scene below on my way to work than the one above any day of any week of any month. Those people are suckers.

How about a little bit of Friday Hero?
Its with a heavy heart that I grant this weeks honor to the late Peter Togasaki .

Peter was a fixture in the Bay Area bicycle scene as well as a skilled wrench at the appropriately named Wrench Science.
You know, like they say, God speed Peter.

As Ive said before, its generally pretty awkward to move from something heavy and sad to the typical grabassness that Im such a natural at.
It is with all due respect to Peter that I now put up this shot that Ghostship Matt sent me from the recent Hustle and Flow competition.
I think Peter would think it was funny too.
I call it 'Nap Time.'

As near as I can figure, this shot was taken by a fellow named Aaron, whos entire portfolio can and should be seen here.

Mail bag time?

What sort of obscene tricks do you think Roberts up to?;

"Figured you could squeeze a Pin-Head, bacon Mr. Potato Head into the narrative..Nice photo, huh. really captures the ooziness."

Robert, thats just nasty.

Andys got some stuff;

"Stevil,

Just wanted to send you a few things. First is a People’s Court clip that immediately made me think of your Stevil-ness:

(wait for it…)

and the second was as I was flipping through some photos I have on my PC. I thought it was a pretty funny looking beast a few years back when I first saw it, but even funnier when I saw another pic on HTATBL. My Japanese friend told me of Domo-kun, which is actually a mascot for a TV channel in Japan. Funny stuff.

Anyway, just got back from the Wed ride and I’m whipped.

Later-

Andy"

Firstly, I have to say that that clip is one of my favorite things on Youtube. Secondly, it reminded me that the other day I spoke briefly with Marko and the first thing I asked him was 'hows your moustache?', to which he immediately replied
"dirty."

Speaking of which, Im tired. Its been a brutally long week, my moustache smells of chocolate, I have blisters on my blisters, and my feet still smell like feet.

I hope that you all have an utterly fantastic weekend, cause the last one was a long time ago.
I 'spect theyll be some bike riding, some cartoon watching, and a little bit of sleeping in, on, and around.
Why the hell not(?) and I recommend you all do the same.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 08:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) |