When Parkin payed us a visit two weeks ago, he said to me, "you know the only thing rollers are good for right?...

-Making yourself sterile."

Nothing like a bit of reaffirmation to make you feel like youre doing all the wrong things right.

A month or so ago we were discussing the forever enjoyable game of 'would you rather'. Now after having some time to mull over many different impossible choices, I remembered one that I was never able to comfortably settle on. This goes far beyond eating a ball of your own poo above an over cooked steak and whole milk diet, or dancing everywhere for a year versus big headphones playing the same Slayer song over and over. This one is far more sinister.
Would you rather get a gig playing a year long tour as a member of the sneaky Jesus band Creed;

Or a year long gig playing in the eternally annoying Limp Biscuit;

After much deliberation, and late nights sweating this one out, Ive finally picked the latter, though ether way you slice it, incarceration in an asylum for the mentally ill might be a preferable alternate if given the choice.

Not that you need a reminder, but seeing as Im on the payroll of the dark minds behind the up coming Sleaze Otter Alleycat, Im going to re-remind you of their impending shindig.

It looks like theres other alleycats happening that same weekend, and assuming you cant get to all of them, all you need to know about this one is that if you show up in full zombie makeup, you wont get punched in the stomach.
Really, how can you go wrong?

As much as The Sea Otter has been often times been touted as a 'celebration of the bicycle', with all of the road racing, and the dirt jumping and so on, Im just waiting for the day that the organizers of the event include something as bitchin as the human powered roller coaster.

Are the Sea Otter powers-that-be listening?
We certainly hope so, however with the inevitable annual downpours that seem to coincide with the weekend, it might just turn into the human powered blood bath.

Now seeing as a day doesnt seem to pass without a sighting of The Beasts mark, Bryan got ahold of us with yet another, proving that The Devil is not only is approaching with swiftness, but upon his arrival, he just may be wearing girls pants as well;

"Stevil-

Thinking about the random occurrences of the triple sixes, I had one occur on Ebay a few days ago. I think this just proves that site is possessed, and that track cycling may be the cause of that possession.

Peace from the great white north of Houghton, MI,
Bryan G."

I always figured The Dark Load as a bit of a single geared nerd.
However, while were on the topic of girls pants, 6'7' sent this bit on about emo kids in Mexico getting a beatdown. I used to know this big BMX bruiser named Troy who was a super ripper, and who always liked to refer to himself a BMXican.
I wonder if any of these kids have yet to coin the term 'Emoxican'.

Probably not, and wouldnt it figure like a dumb cracker like myself would come up with something so lame?

This is nether here nor there, but I got a phone call from my dad this weekend responding to a recent photo of the girl and me Id emailed to my mom, and he asked- 'is that really your moustache?' implying that perhaps it was a prosthetic- to which I could only reply, 'of course it is. It was your damn genetics that caused this greatness.'

I swear, of all the people to pose such a ridiculous inquiry, my own father should know better.

And while Im thinking about it, at the wedding I attended this past weekend, a friend of mine looked at me quizzically and said "your breath smells like butterscotch."
Curious and knowing this most certainly couldnt be the case I replied to him, "It does?"
To which he said "Yeah, but I cant tell if its butt or scotch."

I walked right into it.

Anyhow, as this weekend winds to an end, I had the pleasure of spending some very quality time bouncing around The Bay Area for a piece. I attended the previously mentioned Manifesto opening party, which was a fine time for all, and really- should you find yourself in central Oakland, please go in and say hi. Its a lovely shop, run by two very lovely people, and actually while youre there, stop in next door to 1-2-3-4 GO! Records, and pick yourself up a vinyl copy of a Crass or Metallica album just for good measure.

Also, if anyone can tell me the significance of Manifesto proprietor Sams tattoo, let me know, and theres a free Swobo hat in it for you.

And dont bother trying to get the answer from the man whos arm this adornes, because hes been sworn to secracy, and if I find out youve cheated, your hat will include a very unpleasant surprise.

Saturday night a few folks braved the cold winds to attend an art opening at the Receiver Gallery, and at one point while getting a breath of fresh air, we watched in amazement as two young ladies spent the better part of ten minutes attempting to figure out how to securely lock their fixies up outside. I finally couldnt take it anymore and offered that it would probably be safe to frame lock them together as Id never seen anyone able to ride away on a bike with another bike locked to it.

JMac then said he was going to purchase some of those big Clark Kent glasses with a spy camera attached so he could document just that sort of spectacle.

Sunday found me finally feeling good enough to actually ride my bike around my old stomping grounds of the Oakland Hills, and I got a few hours in on the road, with even a little bit of dirt thrown in with nary a twinge of pain from my arm.

It was truly a walk down memory lane that I wont soon forget, and was thrilled to have the chance to do it.

Afterwards, feeling brave in my stretchy pants, and tap shoes, I stopped in to see some of our favorite tattoo artists Sean and Jason at FTW Tattoo Studio.

Any tattoo shop that welcomes you in your full bike nerd regalia is really a good one to keep close at hand.

So thats the long and the short of it. I can only hope that you all had as kickass of a weekend as I did. I could use alot more of that kind of break from my day to day rigamarole, as well as those kinds of people in my life, and now that Ive had a taste, I plan on not depriving myself so frequently.
- I recommend you all do the same.

Its Monday, which is pretty lame, but its just one day closer to free time, and there aint a damn thing wrong with that.