The little bit that I know for certain is that a fellow Named Joe Lumbroso put this film together and Puppy O'Shaughnessy was like the Kaiser Sose of the bike messenger world.
Its an amazing, darkly hilarious, and possibly tragic saga of the life and times of Puppy.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 09:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Posted by Halston at 11:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Of course no list compiling attractive individuals would be complete without Chad from Cyclehawk,

Or the bare knuckle man-sandwich DPow sent to me;

And no sooner do I openly profess my adoration for Joe, does he show up on our doorstep.

Not only that, but he graced me with a very limited piece of paraphernalia from his days as a professional cyclist, which you know of course went directly onto the wall of shame.

And speaking of folks that are easy on the eyes- "Who are these dashing young people?" you might be asking yourself.

Well Im here to tell you that they are our friends at Imensajeros(dot)com. Theyve got some spanky new duds, and a whole new website for the world to behold.
All of that handsomeness should...No... needs to be shared with the world.

Anyhow, its raining Minneapolisites here on the Mid-Coast, as weve also been graced with the presence of Brauer Power.

And heres a shot of two medium sized dummys riding to the store on Yafros Big Dummy.

Something that he mentioned to me last night was 'never try to party with the unemployed', which was good advice, though unfortunately some that fell on deaf ears, as Im suffering from a two day hangover as I type.

This has nothing to do with my hangover, but a few folks have forwarded this article about cyclists being twice as likely to be blamed in the event of an accident.
I recall being hit head on by a cab in Denver many years ago, and actually getting knocked out of traffic and onto the sidewalk.
The next thing I remember was coming to in the ER and being ticketed for riding on said sidewalk.

Yeah.... Seriously.

Obviously my beauty did absolutely anything for ether of the ticketing officers..

You know something else thats very handsome? The following email from John;

"You've never had a party have you? Oh I'm sure you haven't. At least you'll feel that way when you see this picture. I had an easter party and i guess this is a sign of the apocalypse. my mom wasn't to terribly happy about the crank arm in the wall but shit happens when you party naked.
My alarm clock is stuck on evil.
Besides when is swobo going to come out with the drywall integrated alarm clock.

John"

Just like any good multinational company, we have people in the streets John. People like you with an ear to the ground and who let us know what the next big trend is going to be.

A drywall integrated alarm clock you say?
Look for one from Swobo this next trade show.

Fyxomatosis has just written a little blurb about Melbournes new Knog store.

"They've opened a retail store in Chapel St, Prar-rah-han and it's a refreshing change to see a girl selling their bikes. A girl who rides, and knows what she is talking about."

Id be fibbing if I said that didnt make me feel good all over.

Ebay makes me feel good all over too, but its nothing in comparison to the way a chicken nugget that looks like Garfield makes me feel.

Sure. Why the hell not?

Alright, check this out. Im blowing out of town for a while and will be spending some time in a tailored suit.
And no, thats not a clever way of saying Im going to jail. Im getting dolled up and will be witness to a couple of crazy kids we know who are finally tying the knot, so be good while Im away.
Since Ill be having all kinds of orgies and whatever else they do in the Southland, Ill just leave you with a Friday Hero a day early.

So recently we went to see a Russian Circles show...

Well at some point, Brauer and I got so wrapped up in the excitement of it all we accosted a poor sap in a fit of head banging and air humping, spilling his beer all over himself.
As funny as it seemed at the time, I probably would have at least attempted to punch me in the face.
For honorably turning the other cheek, I offer that guy the coveted position as this weeks Friday Hero.
And on the off chance hes reading this, I owe you a new beer.
But then again, with the epic charge that resulted on my credit card, I just may have bought that beer to begin with.

Have a good few days everybody.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 06:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The Darkness is spreading, as proven from an email from (pento) Graham;

"I recently began reading your blog after the Bike Snob sent me over
during his recent vacation. I've enjoyed going back through the
archives and getting some laughs. On a different note, I completely
blame you for the recent and never before noticed occurance of the
three 6's all around me. I see it all over the place and I think it's
your fault. Today I was actually the 666th voter in BSNYC's blog poll.
Thanks for nothing.

GR"

As I emailed back to him, I do what I can.
Its all I can do to bring the rest of you down with me.

Ive mentioned before that my constant acknowledgment of the triple sixes is due to an uncontrollable obsessive compulsive disorder Ive had since I was very young.
When it started, it manifested itself in an impulse to do everything four times.
Turning lights on and off, touching drawers on my way out of a room.. You name it, and I did it.

Times four.

In the house I grew up in, there was a spot in the kitchen where my right foot would always have to land perfectly next to where the refrigerators corner was, then my left foot on the corner where the adjacent cabinet was, then my right foot exactly where the carpet and the linoleum met.
If it didnt happen perfectly, Id have to retrace my steps and begin all over again, and even if I got it right the second time, Id do it twice more just for good measure.

It came to a head when (perhaps ironically) I was in fourth grade and late one night I was getting in and out of bed, unfolding pieces of paper in my book bag and re-folding them, brushing against something, then brushing back twice and once forward, organizing my pencils and so on, until I finally looked at the clock and saw that it was 1:00 in the morning.

I didnt know why I did it, only that I had to or some terrible fate would befall me. When I finally mentioned this to my mom she just said that maybe I should go to bed earlier. I dont blame her for brushing me off. She was a teacher and spent her days up to her eyeballs with neurotic kids, and then discussing said neurosis with their even more neurotic parents.

I was a basket case, and Im surprised my folks didnt cut their losses and just send me to an orphanage.

Anyway, I eventually grew out of it, but Ill be damned if I can shake sightings of the number of the beast, and really, for that matter, I wouldnt really care to.

Theres that old saying- 'misery loves company', and if this is true, then my misery is planning a bloody epic bash to which you all are unquestionably invited.
Just dont expect me to supply the cans of cheeze whiz, and beer bong.

You know..unless we need four of them.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Recently, while reading through a fluffy girls magazine I came across a list mentioning that one thing you can do to make your life feel less hectic is to clean out your email inbox. Now the fact that I was reading a fluffy girls magazine or that my life isnt necessarily that hectic is nether here nor there. The point is Ive got some stuff thats been sitting around and since I dont know really how to cohesively patchwork it into any sort of post or another, Im just going to throw it all out here like a big pile of electronic vomit.

First up, I want to give thanks to Peter for allowing us to use the fruits of his sharp eye as this weeks header photo. Peter along with Kevin Sparrow and Eric Von Munz, as well as a cast of various contributers comprise the heart and soul of Cog Magazine.

If you havent yet delighted your senses with their hard work, you owe it to your self to pick up a copy, and most likely after that, a subscription..

Next, George expounds;

"bra,

We finally experienced rubber on dirt around Fruita on horsethief, rustlers, mary's, steve's loops last saturday in a blaze of glory! what a fantastic day that got us all amped for the coming riding season.

I conveniently fell into the lap of the Ute city cycle's dudes caravan for the "training ride." We intended to go out for a long slow ride and well, no one could hold back the enthusiasm and we ended up going for a fast long ride. can't wait for more...my new custom 29er was amazing.

I swear the dudes at Surly read into exactly what I needed and the Road 34 dudes put it together with the right finishing touches like deore v-brakes, weed grips and chain lube. hell yes.

hump day eve I found myself at the shred park with a shovel, beer and a small area to skate.

it will melt, but not fast enough. and right now we're supposed to get a foot of snow overnight.

the new snow just means that the darkness skin up the hill in the morning at 6am will be that much better with the freshness on the way down. tonight was rad, a skin up shred sunset sesh with my lady.

well another week bites the dust.

"I'm so tired of working every day, Now the weekend's come, I'm gonna throw my troubles away.
If you've got the cab-fare, then mister you'll do alright,
I want to see the bright lights tonight.

Meet me at the station, don't be late; I need to spend some money, and it just won't wait.
Take me to the dance, and hold me tight; I want to see the bright lights tonight.

There's crazy people running all over town; There's a silver band just marching up and down;
And the big boys they're all spoiling for a fight; I want to see the bright lights tonight.

Couple of drunken nights rollin' on the floor Is just the kind of mess I'm lookin' for. I'm gonna dream till Monday comes in sight; I want to see the bright lights tonight"

killin it,
g"

...And and offering from Big Steve P;

And you know, that ad isnt necessarily untruthful, as I would expect if one blew smoke in the face of many women we know, shed followed you outside, around the corner, up the street and then most likely proceeded to knock the crap out of you.
I suspect if she didnt catch up with you, she just might follow you anywhere.

Patrick wrote in with a report on the Liverdance freakout;

"Here's the official unofficial recap:
On March 15, 2008,The world famous Warlocks Bicycle Club of Boise, Idaho hosted our third annual St. Paddy's Day alleycat, Liverdance. 75 Racers braved the cold March winds and hail storms as they navigated what appeared to be a relatively quick, 8 stop course.

But with an additional manifest containing 3 more stops coming out of the closest location to the finish line, the victory was completely up for grabs. Unfortunately for the pack, Jason Bauer was in it to win it and that he did with an impressive 20 minute gap over the second place finisher.

Gnarls. The WBC would like to thank our race sponsors for their generous support: SWOBO, Prestige Skateboards, Ira Ryan Cycles, Broakland Bicycles, Fatsaks, The Neurolux bar, O'Michael's Tavern, The Dutch Goose and the Blues Bouquet for hosting the finish line/after-party.
The list of top finishers is available at the blog.

Thanks Stevil, I have a 666 receipt I'll send in another email.
As for "not forgetting to suckit", don't worry, we didn't.
Patrick
Photos by: P77 WBC"

And another event went down that we threw some goodies at. April gave us her view of the damage;

"So I got really excited that spring was coming, and decided I should put together an alleycat. Then I got ambitious and went for a series.

Then I started thinking about Bambi and how all the animals in the woods get twitterpated and pair off in the spring, hence arriving at my theme: Spring Fling. And why not host a two city series while I was at it, and have these two cities be "in like" with each other?

So I went for the two cities I know best, and which are connected by a bridge/public transit system so people could easily come around for all 3 parts of the series. Oakland and San Francisco.

The first alleycat was called "First Date", and all checkpoints were first date spots. Sam helped me put this race together and pick the stops. First date spots included Mama Buzz (a local coffee shop), the Oakland Museum of California, this park at the end of 7th St with a really awesome view of SF, two different movie theaters, the Lake Merritt boathouse, and Wendy's.

At Wendy's, riders had to get french fries and bring them back to the finish line to prove they'd been there... I'm hoping people don't actually go to Wendy's for fries on a first date (hence the epic french fry pile), but maybe someone does?

83 people came out and rode the first race in Oakland (stats can be found on the Spring Fling Myspace page), and the afterparty featured the bands Punch, Spires and Comadre, and 135 cupcakes that I baked the night before.

The next races in the series, "A Day in the Park" and the finale, "The Break-Up" are on April 12th and May 10th, both start in San Francisco. The Spring Fling series (March, April, May) will be followed in June, July and August by the second annual East Bay Summer Series."

I lived in Oakland for 18 years, and no events like this existed then. Wouldnt you know, as soon as I leave the room, the party starts?
It always seems to work out that way.

...And this photo from Sky;

This bar is in Prague. I figure I could rack up a very serious amount of debt and trouble in a joint like that. Once years ago I was in a club in Germany, broke as always. The attractive bartenderess kept giving me drink after drink, so I assumed that perhaps she maybe had taken a shine to me, until my departure when the man at the door presented me with my tab.
Luckily for me, my companion took pity on my ignorance and covered it for me.
Had she not, I might still be washing dishes there to this day.

Now an email from Haiku winner Gabe;

"Dear Stevil,

Thanks to you and/or the powers that be for recognizing my mad poetry skills. I inherited said skills from my Granddad, who consequently was a champ at avoiding the bummer life, regardless of the many times when life for him was in fact, a major bummer. I don't know if this was a Granddad original, but he liked to recite it when the time was right:

Uncle Bud climbed high
atop the church house steeple,
and let his balls hang down
to aggravate the people.

Thanks also for the socks and shirt. My weak-ass nike socks just blew out so timing couldn't be better. Since I wear a size double extra-donut, I'll probably give the shirt to my brother, he rides way more than me anyway and could use the street cred the Soulcraft/Oly shirt would lend him. Keep up the good work.

shaka,

Gabe"

Wherever your grandfather is Gabe, Im sure hes smiling at your victory.

..and another from Scott taken at last years Pikes Peak hill climb.
The Dark One obviously likes his horse power.

Potter sent on a bummer of the most epic sort.
Or maybe not. Do you suppose she got a newer, faster model?

As if we needed a reminder that moustaches are totally sweet, CFO sent on a shot of the godfather of badass, Perry Kramer.

Heres one for the ladies. This little slice of manwich goes by the name of Joe. Hes one of the only people I know personally who has ever raced in the Roubaix, and he is absolutely a top notch individual to boot.

Print this shot out, tape it on the inside of your locker, and be the envy of all of your girlfriends.
Im secure enough with my sexuality, however ambiguously gay Ive been accused of being, not to be ashamed to admit that this image is in my locker.
Hes just that awesome.

And while 'The Hell of The North' is fresh on my mind, I got an email this weekend notifying me of a new place to waste some time from The Roubaix Bicycle Company blog.

The likable douchbag known as Cary sent this list of odd food stuffs as well.
You know, with an emphasis on 'stuff'.

Ahhhh... Maybe the fluffy girl magazine was right. I do feel better. Now onto making my body bikini ready by spring.
That one however, is going is going to present itself as a little more of a challenge.

The weekend found me still unable to hold onto a handlebar with my left hand after Wednesdays collision, so I spent some quality hours in the backyard on rollers.
As much as that blows, I was still on a bike, still in the sunshine, and still with a smile despite it all, tucked away somewhere beneath the behemoth across my face.

Though the phrase' happy Monday' turns my stomach, we still hope you all have one just the same.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 07:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

W.W.T.E.B.D?

Photo Dukes.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 07:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 03:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Do you know about Bobby McMullen?

You should.

In the very limited time Ive spent in his presence, I can say with complete honesty that he is obviously a extraordinary individual, with a very sweet disposition and the heart of a giant.
One day I hope that I can be half the man that Bobby is.

Just so you all know, in regards to finding a co-host here on The Bummer Life, we have finally made a pitch to a specific individual, however, just after said pitch was made, the person in question got swallowed up with pre-existing obligations, and had to handle those affairs first.
There is a password and all of the party favors that are included in the co-hosts able hands, so one of these days we just may hear from them, however until then, Im afraid youre stuck with me.
I should ad that I genuinely appreciate all of the folks that pled their cases with us, and that there are some talented folks out there reading this thing.
Why they waste their time with it, I dont know, and I guess is another story, but just the same Im really glad they do.

Weve got this guy out in Chicago named Newt who acts as a sort of Windy City liaison to us. Well after reading the article in the new issue of ROAD Magazine about Michael Ball and his band of Rock Racing fancy pantses, he decided that throwing the horns really is a dead gesture and has graced us with a far better form of acknowledging The Dark One. Any time I feel the need to throw horns in any general direction, I stop, and take a lap around the warehouse on our new mascot.
Everybody, meet 'Kiss' the goat.

Plus hes handy to have around just in case I happen to throw some garbage on the ground.

We got into a little bit of a name game last week in which we were noting folks with funny names. Well while wasting time on the internet recently, I saw that there was someone named Tiny Hooker, which reminded me of a talented fella I went to school with. Now it should understood while this doozy wasnt his birth name, he did have it legally changed when he was 21. Give your eyeballs a break and take a gander at the work of Mr. Poopy Lickles.
How in the midst of naming funny names Poopy could have escaped me is a mystery.
He really should have been at the top of the list.

Im sure you all are on pins and needles concerning the winner of this weeks haiku contest. If not, lets refresh. On Monday I requested one be written as an appropriate accompaniment to this picture of GenO.

After a huge amount of a little bit of deliberation, the winning entry for the Soulcraft gift bomb comes in the form of this;

"Seamus O'Seamus:
Paints the face, rides like the wind.
Why? It's the water."

'What the Hell?...' is most likely your response, and youre not far off the mark.
But the reason this resonated with us is simple. It doesnt have much to do with anything.
Just like GenO.

Well that and the fact that he included a kick ass limerick, which reminded me that I like limericks better than Haikus anyhow.

And that my friends is why Gabe is soon gonna be dressed to impress.
Dont fret though, for theres a new contest around the corner thats going to blow doors on this little piss ant challenge.

Another Wednesday has come and gone, and I was quite looking forward to this one, as ether the weather had been wet, Id been unhealthy, or physically incapacitated for the last several in a row, but wouldnt you know, just as Im flowing through the trees, my body and mind acting as one, I round a corner and got absolutely leveled by a really, really big guy on a really, really big full suspension rig hauling ass in the opposite direction.
Dazed, I checked to see if everything was still attached, and aside from my left shoulder, which apparently took the brunt of the impact, I think Im gonna survive, aside from the fact that he knocked my soul out of my being.
I can only hope I inflicted at least a tiny amount of similar damage to him.

However up until that point things were pretty sweet, and later I presented Hightower his trophy for last years feats of strength competitions.

Theres a local business called Brinks that makes all kinds of cool trophies and placards and whatnot and were very accommodating when I called and asked them to make something appropriately ugly for me.

The funny part was when I took it out of my bag, everybody groaned at the sight, and were even more bummed assuming that this travesty was a result of the collision, but then immediately recanted said groan when I explained that this was actually how it was supposed to look.

Then finally on the way home, Demonika wadded it up and slid into home on her face, leaving the final score;

Fate- 2, and us- zilch, zip, zero..a big fat goose egg,.. just like the one on her forehead.

Well, perhaps the most positive way of looking at it is that we hadnt made a deposit in that particular bank in a while.
I guess we were over due.

Weve got ourselves some Arnica, some ice packs, and a few days until we can do it all over again.

Lastly, Im gonna lay this bit of mail on you that showed up on Wednesday morning;

The Letter;

My collection of post it notes, as Diamond Dave looks on;

This job is so kick ass sometimes....

Well, this concludes the week without The Skipper, and El Corpo, and for a little while, Sky. Im gonna say that Erin the maven and I held it down pretty well, in spite of ourselves. The Bummer Life blog ended up not sucking too badly, We hardly alienated any customers, I only broke down in a fit of hysterical sobbing twice, exclaimed the F word about three trillion times, finished a painting, almost got killed by a fellow mountain biker and got a painting of David Lee Roth.

All in all, Id say the the bummer life aint got nothin'- I repeat NOTHIN' on me.

Its Friday.
You know what to do.

Posted by Stevil on walkabout at 08:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Its the only number that matters.

Posted by Stevil on walkabout at 08:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Can you hear that? Thats the sound of Haiku victory floating on the wind.....

Posted by Stevil on walkabout at 01:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

For now the rain has stopped, and for now, the Poison Oak has started.

Generally if we here in this region are blessed with winters consisting of sporadic lovely hot days mixed in with the wet and rainy ones, that means the Oak is gonna bloom with a fury.
By the looks of things on Monday morning, that is indeed the case.
For those of you who are luckily unfamiliar with the virtues of Poison Oak, thank your lucky stars.

One point many years ago I broke down and opted for the Cortizone shot. Doctors tend to shy away from this form of treatment due to some unpleasant side effects unless youre unfortunate enough to get in on your genitals, or in my case, have such a violent eruption that the admitting nurse asked if Id been burned in a fire..

It looks like it just might be another summer of riding through the woods with my arms in board, and my legs safely knock kneed.

Anyhow, while were on the subject of trails, Cary wrote in;

"Hey Stevil,
While some community’s are making it difficult to keep and maintain multi use trails, Richmond Va. has recognized the benefit of building sustainable trails thru its downtown park system. The city of Richmond has purchased Ditch Witch earth moving equipment, a power “muck truck” 4 wheel drive wheel barrow and designated a Backhoe along with 100’s of tons of clay, rocks and boulders. This along with dozens of enthusiastic volunteers each year brings MORE miles of sweet riding and hiking to our city by the river.
Check out this vid from Saturdays trail work."

Thats some good stuff.
You know, this past weekend found me at a book store, pouring through the magazine section, and eventually reading an article about New York Citys High Bridge Park which got me thinking about the power of organization, and just generally what an amazing community we have within the mountain bike world.

Then I drifted off to memories of riding in Arizona, Colorado, Vermont, Canada and a myriad of other breath takingly beautiful locals which over the years Ive been fortunate enough to have found my tires turning, but really just how badly Id like to ride there. Theres something about the idea of single track within the confines of the concrete jungle that mystifies me.
Im planning to make a trip to the big city this fall, so if any of you who are reading this and live in New York City have a spare bike and would like to share a date with me in the dirt, give me a shout and lets make a plan.

Lets move on to other topics now, shall we?
DPow! turned me on to some delightful blogness in the form of Butch Dingo, and George laid one on us as well that goes by the name of Rain From The Sky.
Stop by on the regular.
Im sure I will.
Man, the internet is a wonderful place sometimes, isnt it?

And speaking of which- I spoke with a cat on the phone on Monday from Patagonia concerning some specifics of a Del Norte order that hed placed, and while we were conversing, a co-worker of his slipped him a note that said
'I (heart) the Swobo blog.'

As the walls were closing in on me, and I was scrambling around our shipping software in a virtual panicked daze, that seemingly insignificant gesture wedged its way into my psyche, and made everything alright.

Then this email arrives;

"Stevil,
I, like yourself, attempt to avoid the bummer life wherever possible, sometimes though, try as one might, it finds me.
I like yourself, and others, like the dirtbombs, karate kicks and riding bikes. I just happen to like all those things where the water runs the other way down the sink
Love from New Zealand

Matt"

Like I said. It just makes everything alright.

Ive never been much of a computer sort. I went well out of my way to avoid the internet, email, websites.. everything. Until I was asked to do The Bummer Life. I choked down a nervous lump in my throat, and reluctantly agreed, assuming it would mean an immediate death for my affinity for postcards, writing letters, and just generally making things with my hands, but surprisingly it had quite the opposite effect.
Through this Ive actually made some friends that I might have never crossed paths with, as well as opened some doors to me that never would have even existed otherwise.

Hell, for that matter, it might even allow me to one day ride a mountain bike on some of that sweet, sweet New York City single track.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 09:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (24)

In a email this weekend from Daniel whos attending the bike show in Taipei;

"Stevil,
I thought you’d like to know that the Taipei Bike show has banned access to your site. All other personal blogs, email connections work, but yours…"

However according to Sky, and as much as Id hoped this to be the case, apparently its not.

The sound youre hearing is that of a dashed dream.

Now then, this guy has been mentioned here before. His name is Shannon Selberg, but before we get into that, the fella that took this here photo of Shannon is named Lou Munez. He is a photographer with a sharp eye, and I would have asked permission to put the photo here, but Ill be damed if I could find his email.
Lou is also a cyclist, and like everyone else on the face of the planet has a blog.

I mention all of this because of some hot water Ive gotten into before for using photos without asking, despite the fact that I always gave the photographers credit, and linked their sites even if, at least in one instance, it was some crap photos and a Flickr site..
Anyway, with all of that being said, I dont want to go through that again. Lou if youre reading this, Im sorry.
So, lets talk about Shannon...

...Oh good lord I forgot what I was going to say.
I think I was maybe gonna mention that his band The Heroine Sheiks just finished recording an album that will be released in May on Amphetamine Reptile Records, but it seems like there might have been something else.
Geez.. Old age is a drag.

As long as were on the topic of music however, why shouldnt I bring up this band?
Black Mountain is what they go by, and their new album, 'In the future' is an adjective that begins with 'A'; and ends with 'E', and isnt 'awful(e)'

Its ten songs of spaced out, melodic Sabbathy rock jams that could very well play as the soundtrack of my life.
Just one more thing out of Canada that is better than me.
Buy a copy, and if after a couple of plays, you dont find yourself thinking about it in the shower, on your way to work, and even while listening to other music, Ill take it off your hands. I could always use an extra copy.
You know- just in case.

El Corpo bailed out of town on Saturday. Hes leavin', on an airplane. We dont know when hell be back again...
Hes in a fabled place called 'New Zealand' where the men are men, and the sheep are scared. There are Hobbits there too and an angry flaming eye ball.
Im gonna miss him, but hes hard at work doing the things that need to be done so that Swobo can continue in its ass kickingness.

I finally got my hands on a copy of the MASH SF flick and checked it out this weekend. I gotta say that after watching it, the entire time Blacksocks, Hightower and I were rolling over hill and dale on Saturday (not to mention being pelted by tiny hail stones for a bit of the ride that made me feel like I was under attack by an army of BB gun wielding lunatics) I entertained memories of ripping through the hills of San Francisco.

Say what you will about the track bike phenomenon, but this film, along with its beautiful packaging and awesome photographs in the accompanying book is really worth picking up and adding to your collection, and in my humble opinion, Co-producer Mike Martins bit in the DVDs extras made me smile ear to ear, which after my recent barrage of Botox injections is a rare occurrence indeed.

This weekend I got an email from a fella named Jay in which he turned us onto a bacon wallet, which is much more convenient then the bacon wallet Ive been attempting to carry.

Jay also said something that I need to mention. The other day when introducing the Swobo family to any folks that had come by from The Bike Snobs page, Id said that we were a tiny company consisting of five employees. That would be El Corpo, Erin the sales maven, Sky, The Skipper and myself.
I sorely neglected to include Jay as the sixth employee, for he is the one that not only survived on a steady diet of nothing and Pepsi through the entire process of rebuilding our website from the ground up, but continues to work tirelessly behind the scenes in maintaining the website as well as defending us from the myriad of electronic headaches on a daily basis.
Youre not just chopped liver Jay. Youre our chopped liver, and I wouldnt have it any other way.

Hey, lookit whos getting all dolled up right;

"Stevil,

the local temperature officially hit 50° at the MSP airport yesterday. This is fortunate as it coincides with the Slick 50 Beard-Off Spring Classic tomorrow morning. And that means it is time to disengage from winter beard mode into something more sanguine for the Spring season.

Without further ado, I present to you, my moustache, (Inspired by One-Eyed Zeke, and countless others):

xo,
-Hurl"

Its truly a magical time of the year, ladies and gentlemen.

And speaking of magical, Billy got ahold of us to lay out the events of their last bicycle freakout in Golden Gate Park.

(Some baaaaaad things have happened in that tunnel.)

If your brain is feeling thirsty, why not stop by for the full skinny, and a drink of dirt at Ye Old Soil Saloon(dot)com.

The good people at True Temper heard my cry for help concerning the tire rubbage on my Dirtbombs fork that Id illustrated a few weeks back and took immediate action, as Thursday morning found the UPS man darkening our door holding a new fork for me, which solves all of my previous concerns.

I appreciate that the folks at True Temper were airing on the side of cautious in my situation.
I, unlike Warpath, like the front teeth I was bred with.

Im going to throw this out here because Im not quite sure how this week is going to unfold, but The Skipper loaded up a truck with a couple of motor bikes, a months worth of sustainables, a whole lot of psychedelics and ran for the hills on Friday.
No doubt he was sorely due for a break, but this leaves me running the whole show. The days may be long, and I dont know what kind of juice Im going to have to maintain expounding on the virtues of bummer life avoidence. I say this simply to let you all know that if the posts dont come with as much frequency, its because Im buried under a pallet of wool jerseys and track hubs.
As youve come to expect however, Im going to do the very best job I know how.
Keep a candle lit for me.

In my possible absence however, and to continue the good times rolling I offer this;

I invite The Bummer Life audience to write a haiku that makes for an appropriate accompaniment for this photo of GenO. The author of the piece that is deemed worthy will receive a gift package generously donated by our good friends at Soulcraft of one of their world famous 'Oly' ringer Ts and two pairs of their highly sought after elite edition socks.
Now put pen to paper, and get crackin'.

The successor to the creative writing throne will be chosen on friday, Im guessing.

As Ive mentioned every Monday for nearly the last two years, we hope its a good one, and keep putting one foot in front of the other until Friday graces us with its ever loving embrace.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 07:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (26)

Now dig this- I had my own opinions about the photo caption contest, but Im only one voice amid a storm.
After much anguish and deliberation, what finally was decided upon is the following;
(but you gotta click on the arrow to build the suspense first.)

"Have you ever given a foot massage?"

"Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot fuckin' master."

So, to the individual who only went as 'Truth', get ahold of me, and well square you away.

Truth be told, and no pun intended, there were many favorites and like in the case of the following from Shawn, even an added comic book twist.

And Loudass simply responded with visuals, rather than any sort of written word;

Though in my opinion, this

plus this,

equals awesome.

As a rule, I try with all of my might to keep the profanity to a minimum here primarily due to the fact that El Corpo has very little tolerance for my potty mouth, and I get docked time spent hot dogging in the Swobo Hummer for every bad word that appears within these hollowed pages, but at least in this instance, they had to roll uncensored just so that the integrity of the submissions remained intact.

Anyhow, as we know- theres no second place winners, only first place losers, so for those of you who didnt make the cut, keep em peeled, because theres many more challenges on the horizon, with glory and fantastical surprises as reward.

I have to also offer many thanks to The Skipper for his unparalleled skills with photoshop in providing us with the winners visual aide.

While were still on the topic of creative uses of nothing, Ryan sent in a photo of his bike, and a smashing new application of recyclables;

"Hey,

Thought you might enjoy these pics of my Sanchez with my homemade
fender--PBR cans, coat hangers, duct tape, packaging tape and a small
amount of solder wire.

-Intern Ryan LaBar"

The family of Swobo is wise beyond their years when it comes to being resourceful.

Take our own Sky for example, whos presently taking care of business in Taiwan. You give her a fish head, and shell give you a drinking buddy.

Or the wunderkind from Fox suspension known as 'Complayna' who also happens to be in Taiwan at the moment. You give her a half an hour in a public market there, and shell come up with a shirt adorned with a cartoon picture of me.

Now I know how Homer Simpson felt when he saw a picture of himself on a Japanese soap box.

Listen- this isnt school, and we dont want anybody to take a test if they dont care to, but he lovely and talented Dow sent this quiz on to us, which is a pretty interesting exercise.

However, I swear if I ever get hit by a car and the driver says they didnt see me cause they were watching a bear moonwalk, Im going to kick the crap out of them right there where they stand.

Lets talk about Shpants, for a minute, shall we? Im sure you all have a pretty good idea by now, just how intensely we test our soft goods. Well yesterday I had an experience Id like to share. See, our new warehouse facility is huge. The square footage isnt anything to write home about, but the ceilings are about a floor below gods basement, so to get to the loftiest heights, we have this bad boy;

But sometimes theres stuff in the way, or the items are even too high up to reach by ladder.

Thats when The Skipper and I have to resort to the OSHA totally unapproved method of climbing around like so many monkeys, pull the bike out, let it swing to the lower level, and repeat.

It can be fairly unsettling, but as of yet, and knock on wood, weve done so without incident.
That was until last evening. I got a huge order in that ironically contained one of each bike size that lives way out of reach, so the climbing began.
Each four and half foot span drawing me closer to the heavens, when suddenly in mid-foothold there was an audible rip. Then moving up onto the next level, another.
"Oh crap" I thought, reflecting on some of my early unplanned shpant exposures.
Once safely back on the ground, I stuck my face as far though my crotch as I could to inspect the damage, but found nothing.
I knew Id heard fabric tearing. Perhaps Id ripped the stitching out, which I checked, but still came up empty.
Perplexed, I dropped my pants to the floor, and was shocked at the sight.

Id completely blown out of my underpants. From the top of my wang hole to the bottom of my leg hole, there was nothing but devistation. Ive seen alot of wardrobe malfunctions in my day, but this was a first.
So the score is to date, Jmac knickers- 1, underpants- 0.

But that wasnt the only this that made this week rad. Thursday we got a visit from Brigid, and Cheever,

and DPow! sent me the coolest transistor radio ever.

You can bet I jammed out to some mono-fi Kenny Loggins on my ride home.

Hey- its Friday. I couldnt ride last week on account of cause I was all wrecked. You can bet Ill make up for it this weekend. I hope everybody gets down and makes the very most out of what THE MAN gives us.

Posted by Stevil on walkabout at 07:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

I have taken the unenviable task to tally the 'caption the photo' votes very seriously.
Yes, 'the votes'.. You see, its not just me making the decision because I, like Governor Spitzer, am far too easily plied by the temptations of the flesh. Therefore a decision as crucial as this had to be put in the hands of more than just a single individual.
I mean, after all... Were talking about a free t-shirt here.

So until then, while we have no official report of any sort concerning the Soil Saloon bicycle related event that took place this past weekend, we do have photographic evidence that one of said events organizers parents are surely pissed at the amount of money they paid for his orthodontia when he was in middle school.

It was the first Wednesday after the time changed yesterday, and for the first time in a couple months, a large contingent of souls made their way through the woods to partake in Wednesday night frivolity. Sadly, due to an impending illness, and the fact Im running the whole show next week in The Skippers absence, I very sadly bowed out. So in the absence of any sort of official break down, Ill just lay a bunch of photos from Wednesdays past on you.
Youll have to provide your own sappy background muzak version of 'Memories'.

Good god... It was almost like I was there.

Anyway, to round this post off, this just in from Sean reminds us exactly what a bummer life is about.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 10:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Firstly, I would like to thank any of you who might have made it over here from The Bike Snob and Id of course also like to offer thanks to The Snob for the plug. Its really is amazing what a little bribery can accomplish. Anyhow, for those of you who might be new to this corner of the internet, Swobo is a little bicycle and bicycle clothing company consisting of five people. HTATBL is just me and occasional cameos by a number of other folks from around the globe.
If packed into a nutshell, all this communication device really consists of is;
Bikes,
Art,
Music,
Bacon,
Danzig,
Big Dave,
Photography,
Moustaches,
Random occurrences of Three 6s,
Mr.T,
and a fat guy named Loudass.

Youll notice straight off the bat that Im not as articulate or insightful as The Snob, but what I lack in content, I more than make up for in mispellings, completely fabricated truths, and chest hair.

So again, thank you for stopping by.
Lets continue, shall we?

You know theres no way to transition from our general lightheartedness to real world tragedy, so at the risk of seeming callous, Im just going to jump right into it.

As Ive said before, occasionally the process of avoiding a bummer life is meeting up head to head with it. Not that any single one of us ever needs a reminder that life is a fragile thing, and to always watch one anothers backs, but this next piece is just too close to our hearts.

*photos by Larry Rosa, and Garret Lau

This past weekend Bay Area cyclists, Matt Peterson and Kristy Gough were killed when a sheriffs officer reportedly fell asleep, crossed over into oncoming traffic, and struck their group.
The full sad and sickening saga is right here.

I saw a news report on this the other night, and the cop car wasnt just partially in the other lane, he was off the road, on the embankment, in the other lane. This is truly a tragedy for everyone involved, and were keeping them all in our thoughts.

Now to jump from real world sadness to a happier topic, and by this, of course I mean bicycles and pornography.

GenO elaborates;

"Here's some late breaking film action and just in time too. Today I walked a bike out at 6:59pm, rode it around the block. At 7pm it was still light out. This Thursday March 13th, for one night only! Strong Arm Marketing presents, The Pornography of the Bicycle. A series of short films on the theme of Bike Porn. It's cumming on thru it's east coast tour here in Mpls. It will play at the StrongArm Marketing Complex. 117 Washington Ave N. Mpls, MN. $5 at the door. 99 to 100 limited seats. That's this Thursday night. Door at 8pm, Director/Producer intro at 8:15pm. Showtime at 8:30pm. Scrool down the trailer page here for a short look. We all know cycling, and sex, are some of the best things life offers us. You really do not want to miss this. Spring is coming:) (go)"

So now you know.
From the other side of Minneapolis, Hurl sent us the Viceland Bummer Hero.
Would you believe Im wearing that exact same outfit right now?
How embarrassing.

This ones been posted here before, but it kinda kills two birds with one stone.

Of course its a picture of Mr. T in front of Danzigs house.

And then well transition over here to some art that doesnt suck, in the form of Matt Borruso.

Say, has anyone seen George?
Ohhhh... There he is;

"Dude,

Have you ever been a quarter of the way up an approach/hill and put your camel toe mouthpiece in your mouth only to have nothing come out and the piece to feel strangely different?
Turns out that last night while my camel-toe was on the futon a furry little mouse came and chewed up my mouthpiece, finished my granola bar by gnawing through the mesh and made a large mess of crumbs on said futon. The problem was that before I left the house at 6am to scramble up the ski hill in the darkness I only realized the granola mess and not the mouth piece. But the realization was a bitch, all that I could think of was the hunta virus and the fucking mouse, not to mention the water going into my mouth.

But in a way it was like the first time you had booze or first day of college;
from that point forward you’ll basically drink after absolutely anyone.

(hearts)
g"

George speaks the truth, and I know this fact from once accidentally taking a swig of my own urine- but that as they say, is a different story for a different time.

As I mentioned to any possible first time visitors here, my O.C.D. provides me with an eye for three sixes. Everywhere I go, they seem to appear, and as soon as I made mention of it on The Bummer Life, others started to take notice as well.

For example, maker of badassness Tony wrote in;

"Steevil,
HTATBL is great. It shines a little extra sunlight on my rainiest of days.
While I'm writing you, I liked the mustache post the other day, but you left out Mike Flanigan. He rocks.

I thought you might like this picture. My fiancee bought it based on price alone. Yep, that's why she's my baby.
-Tony"

Then theres this one. Just as I rolled into my driveway after a lovely sunny day spin, I should glance down and see this;

So you know immediately after showering which shirt I put on.

Anyway, all of this sets the stage for what our own Sky came across on a recent ride to work. I think its safe to say that anything any of us ever find, forever and ever will pale in comparison.

Yeah, Im serious. And if that werent enough, check out the drivers name.

Sky chatted with the wrench a while about this whip, and the quote she conveyed to me was simply-
"On top of all misery, the fu*ker is Irish!"

Ill let you all regain your composure for a moment with this article about Chuck Norris.

Now, you all like bike races, right?

And heres another that were proud to help sponsor out in Kansas City way. Word to the wise, leave the Mavic Ksryium Elites at home.

Well here we are at the end of another delightful trip down the river of HTATBL. Weve just about covered all of the bases mentioned in the introduction, so well just leave you with this.

Lay a photo caption on me that really blows my hair back, and the one who wins gets a free Swobo t-shirt of their choice.

Aaaaaannnnndddddd.... Im out.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 11:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (46)

When one thinks of moustaches, the connection to the world of cycling might not be the first thing to come to mind, but upon further inspection, there is in fact a long and very esteemed list.
The top of which would undoubtedly be occupied by none other then Ned "The Lung (Flanders)" Overend.

A near second to 'The Lung' would obviously be Tom Ritchey (as well as many other of our mountain biking forefathers.) If any of you ever happen to ride the trails in Occidental California, rumor has it that part of Toms Moustache is still attached to a tree he crashed into at the second of the legendary Ring of Fire races.

Jason Lowetz is another, pictured here with Fritz Bottger and Ned, sans cockbroom. The torch o