I know Ive shared the tale of getting nabbed by the Boulder Police before, but what I dont think I included in the saga was that during the mug shot, I asked them if I should smile.
Im fairly certain they responded with a resounding, and incredulous- 'man... I dont care!'
Its important to always look good, you know?

And as long as were on the topic of looking good, feast your eyes on these two healthy slices of total and completely rediculous badassness I just purchased off the interweb.

I know youre sitting there wondering if its possible for any single individual to control all of that power and sexiness. I mean- it stands to reason that if a mere mortal were to come into possession of even one of those shirts, let alone both of them, that the sheer animal dynamism would simply be overwhelming, and could very probably lead to said individuals own undoing.

Yeah, well... Ill let you know.

Lets hear it for the Bush brain trusts economic stimulus plan. Remember when he was first 'elected' and everybody got 300 big ones?
Just to spite their plan, I invested all of my money in foreign porn.
Seriously, theyre touting that this will be the much needed fix-all for the current economic strife.
Why not take all of that money and invest it into public education, or even (gasp) social services? It might not be the answer to the immediate economic issues, but 145 billion dollars into education today, I guarantee will serve us better tomorrow.
I swear, just when I think theyve stooped as low as they are able and have made the most profound and insulting mistakes they can, they top themselves.

Theres a thing of beauty creeping up on us, and its called the Hand Built show. Are you going, or do you know someone who is?
Portland is obviously the proper environs for such an occasion, and Im quite looking forward to bringing some sort of report or another to your eager eyes.

You know this guy is gonna be there and that alone is almost worth the price of admission.

Remember, Stanford's in the Portland airport has an insanely cheap happy hour food menu from 3 to 6.

Plus, while youre in Portland, keep your eyes peeled for this upstanding young cat-

"Your help is requested in information that helps locate/arrest/prosecute/neuter/vivisect the driver of a new/newer Hummer H2, royal blue, (All-terrain blue, in Hummer speak) who assaulted a cyclist at 23rd and NW Pettygrove last night.

Yesterday afternoon (4:30ish) a cyclist was run off the street, assualted, threatened with a softball bat and punched in the face by the driver of a brand-new royal blue Hummer H2. Police were notified by several calls from about a dozen shocked passers by. The driver took off. The truck had no plates. If you see a new royal blue H2 with no plates and a 5'8"-5'9", balding man in his mid-late 30s driving it, that'd be him. Call it in as the driver that assualted the cyclist at 23rd and Pettygrove last night. If you have information regarding this assault, please contact the Portland police at 503-823-3333."

Somebody driving a Hummer and having complete disregard for anyone around them?! Now Ive heard everything.
Portlandites, keep your eyes peeled.

Recently I mentioned the untimely passing of one of The Mafias own. This Saturday theyre going to have a memorial ride for the girl, and though the wearing of skirts wont be enforced, it is highly encouraged.

Know this brethren and brethettes, I will be breaking out a sassy little white tennis skirt I only used for the cross dress season some 10 years ago, and will be sashaying around in Rachels honor.

The dynamite babe known only to us as 'The Gear Kitten' admitted that she too would ingest the pooballs as opposed to the over cooked steak and whole milk diet. She then graced us with this portrait of Brad Pitt painted on a cow patty, questioning which part wed eat.

I told her Id only eat the part around his dreamy eyes.

The MASHSF kids need no introduction, though any and all peeps in Filthy-Delphia might be keen on knowing about this here upcoming shindig in their fine city.

It promises to be a freakout.

And as long as were on the topic of freakouts, recently Swobo donated a Sanchez which was revamped and reworked by Sub Pop Records own Jeff Kleinsmith. Blacksocks gave us the skinny;

"Amigos-
Here are some images of the bike in its final glory.
Lotta stickers, compliments of Sub Pop and Jeff Kleinsmith.

It will be raffled off at the Giro booth at SIA, along with some other
goodies, amidst a frenzy of free beer and grizzled sales reps."

We figure some drunk snowboarders gonna end up being really happy...

Welp, Ive done rung as much life out of this one as I can. Happy Humpday everybody, and heres to doing just that.