Fridays are cool cause thats when Miami Vice used to be on.
Our man The Gimp aced yesterdays trivia question like Robin Hood. ...Knocked it out of the park. However then he got cocky and began blowing his horn about Brandon Cruz being the vocalist on that particular Dr. Know song, which is actually incorrect. The original vocalist was none other than Kyle Toucher. Better luck next time.
Im kidding. Well get a t-shirt of your choice to Germany one way or another.
That was good though. Even punk rock super hero Danny B didnt get it.
Up next and on a completely different note, the one and only Chopper writes;
"This is material for the bummer life if there ever was....i am embarrased just watching it"
No doubt.
They totally stole my idea. I guess I have to wait to pop the question until I come up with another flash of brilliance.
Did somebody say brilliance?
...And then comes Frank.
"I would just like to point out a few things about the following stories.
1) Both of these are Pittsburgh-related, which we all know hasn't had anything good come out of it since Warhol left (and Iron City doesn't count).
2) In the first story, can you really make a 911 call in a trench coat? Story one.
3) In the second story, doesn't this lady know that kids have the internet these days? Story two."
So the freak show that ruined Christmas for 40,000 burners in Nevada was the first ever Thursday hero, and woah did he deserve it, but D*Pow layed one on us on Monday that we can no longer ignore.
"Stevil,
I know its Monday and all, but I saw something yesterday, that made me stop what I was doing, and give this guy his due.
Meet Olin. Most guys would be pretty bummed out if on the 4th of July they rolled a tubular off the rim, and sustained a compound fracture to their leg, effectively ending their summer for cycling. But Olin didn't let that get him down...no sir. I think this photo is an accurate representation of how Olin is both a hero, and one who avoids the bummer life, but you can be the judge.
good lookin out,
dpow"
Now I got a bit of flack for slamming Burningman, as Ive never attended the event. Thats ignorance, I know.
However Ive never smeared my own poo on my face or been to prison before, and Im pretty sure I wouldnt like that ether. I realize Ive made an unfounded assumption but Im sticking by it.
Now then, Nate at Monkey Wrench Cycles recently dropped a bit of goods in our lap. He writes;
"So,
-um, here's the picture. pictures of one's self are just hard to look at, not sure how i feel about them. oh and i got this picture of eric and i in crested butte two weeks ago in the swobo looking at the Maroon Bellss off of trail 401.
I had a couple of other customers out there racing in the swobo gear, most from omaha, so that means there making the drive to the goods, just like good addicts should.
have a good night, thanks for selling us clothes, it matters.
all for now,
nate"
Those boys have impeccable taste in clothing, no?
And while were speaking of impeccable taste, the ever fashionable CO wrote in with some of his own particular brand of jibber-jabber;
"I hope most of you know who David Rees is...The creator, author and illustrator of "Get Your War On"...One of, if not the most "in your face, hit the nail right on the head, with no boundaries" comic strips of all time...Its relevance and importance is immeasurable, and it is fucking hilarious...While picking up my copy of "We Jam Econo" on The Minutemen(dot)com I came across this little piece Rees wrote a few years back about the best band of all time ..While reading I was able to draw many parallels to what Swobo, Stevil and all of us at HTATBL try to encourage every day....Like D. Boon and Watt did with punk, make cycling what you want, not what others think it should be!!...Jump Dirt...Derby...Lay down big skids...Hop barriers...Wear lycra and crush the roads...Show the neighbors kid how to roll off the curb...Weave home from the bars.... Like Gonz showed in his skate ballet and D. Boon sprayed during those heartbreaking versus of "History Lesson Pt. 2", treat your passion like art, hold it in high regard, and push it any direction the spirit moves...The sport, like the music has shaped my life....You???
CO"
CO, like JJ Walker says, "DY-NO-MITE!"
So, a few years ago I decided Id had quite enough with bikes and art. I wanted to expand my physical and artistic boundaries, and I opted to venture off in a completely different direction.
I chose karate and model building.
I was going to learn how to kick ass, and build model muscle cars.
Well, to make a long story short, I built a really bitchin 64 GTO soft top, which I eventually presented to my friend Jamie, who actually had a real life 64.
My next car was going to be a 64 Nova, but I had to buy more model paint and that pretty much put a kibosh on my model building career, and I never did begin my karate classes.
Recently, inspired by videos of kids skating ditches, Ive opted to throw caution to the wind and break out my skateboard. Wrist pain be damned.
I swear to god, I could spend the rest of my life here.
Today is Friday. Will everyone make a small promise to us? Promise us that at least once this weekend you will throw caution to the wind, some love at a friend, and your pants in the fire.
Oh, and take some pictures of it for us.
Who loves monster trucks, BMX and has two thumbs?
This guy!
Some of you all might remember the sad saga of 6'7".
Well against all odds, our boy came back to us last night ripping around on his gigantic red Hunter cross bike, and making our sides hurt from laughter.
Everythings right with the world. However he showed up with a six pack of Miller Lite which he described as tasting like lacquer, so his head might not be quite right yet.
After riding over hill and dale, and admiring Chris's jerseys salt deposits,
we stopped by the bar, were we met up with the drunkest man on the planet whos name may have been Paul. 6'7" put some Bee Gees on the jukebox and the show began.
Paul danced,
Paul fell,
and Paul got his shoes tied.
Now to continue on topics that make my heart soar, Martin writes;
"havent set a date but somewhere in the nigh distance we will have the first annual MOUSTACHE RIDE down to the south san francisco gun range.
rules:
must ride bikes
must rock the 'stache
must bust caps
more updates soon.
luv, martin"
If it happens around the time of our own Moustache Bash, which training will begin for in January, those folks better look out.
Greatness will abound. Otherwise well all only have the 4 week growth moustache, and that just looks pathetic.
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And speaking of pathetic.... Im just gonna lay it out here and risk bumming a few folks out. I think Burning Man is lame. There I said it. So lame in fact that Im going to go against every thing I believe in and begin a whole new category of weekly hero, and for the first time ever, lay a Thursday hero on you.
Way to go Paul. Youre a total clown, but for now, your our kind of total clown.
I have to admit- I actually just received a pair of Crocks in the mail from an old friend who works for the company. I guess an added feature they now offer is you can 'personalize' your shoes with these little letters you can plug in the toe holes. Anyhow, upon opening the parcel, I saw that my left one says 'Im drunk', and my right one says 'I love cock'.
She really does understand me.
Regardless of that and the fact that they actually are pretty comfortable, I still refuse to wear them in public.
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Fritz is in need of a teammate for this weekends 24 hour of Laguna Seca. Anybody know anybody?
"Hey.
I am looking for a teammate to replace a guy we just lost at the last minute for this wknds 24HOA at Laguna Seca.
You guys might know somebody fast. (we're going to "race" not drink).
Our team is a shop team, from Sonoma County, we're legit, 3 fast guys, all tuned up, and our 4th just got some bad news, and can't make it.
If you wanna help a brother out, pass the word.
Fritz Wisor.
fwisor@hmh.com
-santa mothafucking rosa, CA"
Good luck Fritz. Im still not sure I understand the difference between 'racing' and 'drinking' however.
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Check this out. Our pal Steve emailed us a heads up about the Handcycle Championships he was involved with. They really are some of toughest folks in the world.
Crap. I have a bunch more stuff on deck, but I have to go to work now.
Its Thursday today.. Magnum P.I used to be on Thursdays..
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And now well finish with a punk rock a trivia question. What band sang the lyrics 'monstrous machine, mutilates men. It happens every fifty thousand years...'?
Answer correctly, and theres a Swobo t-shirt in it for you.
Practicing random acts of randomness and senseless acts of senselessness..
Did you sense that I was smiling this weekend? This might be the reason why.
Ive never owned anything with disk brakes. Hell, Ive barely owned anything with shifters, let alone a bike with the bells and whistles displayed here.
Absolute magic, and the custom bike stand that was used for this shot came in handy just after Colina took the photo.
Wherever he is, James Brown is proud.
You know winters a-comin.
Are you ready? Are you ready for this?
I suspect that one guy named Rich from Sacramento is gonna be there and tear everybody's legs off. If you know who Im talking about, then you know who Im talking about.
That clip is pure poetry, man. Mike Day is a machine.
When transportation engineers get ahold of a bunch of bad acid and go to work, chaos can ensue.
In other news, when Obama turned into robot, everyone was speechless, but then when he turned into a truck, thats when jaws dropped.
Did the weekend hold some good stuff for everyone? Life in these parts was none too shabby. El Corpo did some yard work, Sky and Erin went hang gliding, the myriad of interns organized the offices pencils, and I taught myself how to salsa dance.
Really, for all intensive purposes, it was business as usual.
So down there in Atlanta, the bike scene is breaking loose. Firstly, our friends at NoBrakes are throwing this shindig on.
and then theres this one for your approval. The Faster Moustache Race is gonna be HUGE. And you know how we feel about anything related to moustaches....
And speaking of moustaches, Vegas is creeping upon us ever so slowly, and I emphasize the word 'creeping'. What kinds of hijinx might ensue? Squid will prolly be there with his ready-made alley cat master plan, that guy from S&M might want a rematch with Sov, (I tried to find a blurb about that one as I know Ive seen it somewhere before, but alas, I couldnt. Its probably for the best anyhow.) The Evil Pixie and The Bear are gonna be ghosts, so theres four fewer breasts Ill see, and thousands of voices will be lost to the heavens.
You know, I cant figure why, but Im actually kindof looking forward to going back this year.
Mostly I suspect that its cause our beloved Swobos going to have its first official presence at the show in, what, seven years? The last time we were all there together, we held a wake for the little company that couldnt. This year is gonna be different. This year is gonna be good because we could, and we did.
Maybe Big Dave might even make an appearance.
One bottle of Budweiser, please Dave.
Hey, dig these cool beans. Looks like Hurls got himself some spanky new graphics. The boy serves up a mean cup of joe to boot.
Slip it in and slip one out.
And finally in a burst of nether here nor thereness, I offer this.
Sprawl is good and trails are bad, mmmmmkay?
The only thing I like about Monday is that Wednesday is only two days away, and Fridays just a stones throw from there.
...And heres to some good memories. Happy Monday everyone....
(our affections go) From Danzig to Colt to some other stuff about things.
U.S. Secretary Peters Says Bikes 'Are Not Transportation'
20 August 2007 - 5:00am
U.S. Secretary of Transportation Mary Peters can blow it out her wazoo.
If the secretary declares that bicycles are not legitimate transportation, then I suppose that means that we dont actually have to stop at stop signs and so fourth after all.
Im glad that we cleared that up.
And to continue on that point, I offer this.
The funny thing is, every point he makes, to my ears, sounds like hes arguing for bicycles.
'Bicycles will help alleviate an impending energy crisis?'
Yes.
'A 19th century solution to a 21 century problem?'
Yes.
Why not write your local representative and give em a little whatfor just the same? Or better yet, write Mr. McHenry here. As he only reads mail from within his own district, use the zip code 28603-0001. Tell him Stevil says hello. Again.
Thanks to The Ghostship and No Brakes for the info.
Some have declared 'An Inconvenient Truth' the most important film of the decade. After seeing this trailer, Im not so sure how true that statement is.
As usual, the Wednesday Night Ride went off without a hitch this week. Theyre never the same without somebody getting smashed.
And speaking of which, ifin youre in the neighborhood, why not swing by this bash in a week or so...
Now then, this fellow here next to Don is named Nick. Without his support and guidance in my younger days, I might have ended up wrenching on cars, or bagging groceries in my hometown. At some point I mentioned here on this thing to write a former teacher and tell them that they made a difference in your life. This is the man who made a difference in mine.
Thanks Nick.
Sky sent an email simply titled 'when not to hyphenate'. Every now and again, Ill share one of these gems with yall. For now, I present you with a favorite.
Hell, if my last name was Wang, and I had a daughter, I sort of feel like it would be my duty to ensure that she got hugged up with someone with Holder as a last name.
Of course I guess thats why the state might have forbidden me from having children.
However, at least Ive never tried to name a baby '@'.
Did I let you all know I picked up a new commuter bike?
Its true. Heres a clip shot on my way home last night.
Are you looking for a Friday Hero? Me too. Im at a bit of a loss this week.
As a cop out, why dont we all just have a look in the mirror?
Everyone have a damn fine weekend. Ive got a bit of 'new bike wood' that needs to be taken care of, so you know what Ill be doing.
Break out the proverbial cowboy hats and TransAms. Its Friday.
The Squire writes with news from Durham. Apparently it isn't just about lacross down there....
"First Thursday of each month. Thursday Sept 6 is our first event. We consciously diverted from the tradition of last Friday of the month...thinking that this way people will talk about the event the next day at work. Both cyclists that participated and people who stumbled upon the event unknowingly. Seems like if you do it on a Friday the weekend layover kills much of the likelyhood people will talk about it next work day.
105 yesterday at 4 pm. Lucky for me I worked late and got to ride home in a thundershower!! hooray at 7pm. Good stuff. After work today... Swimming and beers at the quarry swimming hole."
First up, weve got this here event. The hounds in Minneapolis be howlin'.
Then secondly in an unrelated burst of thought, Frank writes;
"In your hypothesis that Skateboarders are better at the whole creativity thing.
(We present to you Mark Gonzales at The Abteiberg Museum in Germany.)
(speaking of creative skateboarders) what the hell happened to Neil Blender?"
Well, I think I found him. Al Gores internet is an amazing tool.
Theres porn there too, you know.
John from Indianapolis shoved a handful of meds in his gullet and wrote us an endearing email about a little get together he once attended.
"Greetings from Indianapolis. First on my list of things you need to know, someone needs to call my bike shop about carrying your bicycles. We're the number one single speed fixed gear shop in the city mainly because all the other shops are frequented by elitist pricks who will never understand the beauty of fixed riding. Its probably the coolest shops I've ever been in let alone worked at. The shop number is 317.356.4585 and ask for Scott.
Now more importantly my submission for hero of the week. I hope you find that it may be in the running for hero of the year. heres the story. I once went to a party. said person in picture, who will remain nameless only because i don't
nevr got their name, passed out. we got bored of throwing bocci balls at cars, threatening randoms with an axe, putting lawn mowers on a roof and overall destruction of the persons house who had a party. it would be safe to say my senses were clouded but this is what happened. this is a stella bottle, and the high school diploma of the person who threw the party. overall, i think this is one of the best party pictures you might come across. we tried to put the microwave on their head and cook a hot dog in it and eat it all while on the person head but were were all to drunk to find a way to plug it in. anywho whats better is my gf took this picture before doritos were inserted into the persons (box of Legos).
Party on wayne
--
John Waggle"
I was instructed to attempt to mellow this out a bit, which basically was impossible due to the fact that it illustrates a fairly important point. (I did however replace the anatomical description with the name of a fun toy that children of all ages can enjoy).
For anyone who has ever taken a nap at a party can attest to, if one takes a nap at a party without first removing ones shoes, bad things tend to befall one.
I have also omitted the attached photo as I was reprimanded for including a photo of an individual napping in what appeared to be a festive Italian spaghetti dinner last April. I dont ever want to live through El Corpos wrath on that front again.
Anyhow, theres a lesson here folks. Dont nap around John.
And speaking of a mouth full of medication, George has come back swinging;
"Manbras,
we went on an cycling adventure to the butte via
schofield pass and the 401 trail and back via the mtn
taxi to the top of the pass. the fort collins crew
meshed with the roaring fork family made glorious love
and created beautiful life. Our trip was full of
swelbos, bikes, cliff jumping, naked swimming,
mud-boggin eco terrorism in the 4X4, brew and a little
"medicine."
it might be a preview of whats to come in crested
butte during the upcoming yeti tribe deal next
weekend. If I hear one more person discuss who the
first mtn biker klunker stoner bla bla bla I'll
shotgun a beer asap and then head butt the can at em!
enjoy!
george"
John, George and CO are eventually going to cross paths and shortly after they finish a handle of Jack, go on a 50 miler, and knock each others teeth out, they will become the best of friends and the universe will then collapse upon itself.
Down in Santa Cruz way, there is an annual off road bicycle extravaganza called the 12 hours of 5th Ave. Some ride it solo, some ride it in teams. I was indispose, so we contracted young Hightower to shoot some pics and write a review of the freakout.
His contribution is as follows;
"I think that these pictures sum most of it up. Plus that was all I
took, I think I might be fired from the reporting team."
Fired from the reporting team?! Not a chance 'myboy. Why with chops like that, youre likely to put me out of a job!
So there you have it. The 12 hours of 5th Ave consisted of a girl, a guy named Stoner whos really tan, a sex medalion, and some incredible fabric.
362 cans of beer, 100 miles of single track, 4 bottles of booze, and one river.
You know, I had this master plan to keep a hand written journal which I would scan, and post, thereby adding a bit of a handmade feel to the entry covering the 'Big Jonny Didnt Die' week on the Umpqua River in Oregon, but I lost steam so Im just gonna lay this on you in as few words as possible. First off, our friends Simon and Josh guide for this company called Western Spirit that runs guided and fully supported bike trips, and we sweet talked the powers that be into including us all on this adventure. Along with the previously mentioned array of dirts, there was a group of independently arriving folks all of whom were unknown to one another and who were about to ether embark on a week long trip of complete misery, or find that getting totally banjaxed the night before and then riding your face off the whole next day was actually a pretty fun routine.
In our midst, we had Tracy 1 and Tracy 2, English Leigh, and Peter from Marin.
Highlights (for me anyhow) included;
An endless array of swimming holes, which I did my damnedest to jump into at every opportunity. Can you see me? I almost cased a rock at the bottom of this one and Simon scolded me.
As the title of this post expresses, we did in fact put away 362 cans of beer, all of which I was very proud of until my dad told me two days ago that on a recent fishing trip to Canada, he and three of his friends, in five days, put away an astonishing 700 cans of beer.
...I am my fathers son.
Anyhow, everybody on the trip absolutely killed it, and rode stronger and more cohesively than any group of perfectly drunken perfect strangers ought to.
The food was amazing. Fresh baked brownies from the dutch oven, organic chicken sausage lasagna, curry chicken... The menu was pretty extensive, but before the trip began, JMacs step-dad laid some fresh Moose meat on him which Simon and Josh prepared in several different ways over the course of the week. At the end of every day all you had to do was eat, drink, sleep and prepare for the next days adventure. Or sometimes you might just want to ride a plastic bin down a hill....
There was a bit of everything on this trip..For example, we had fern groves,
we had an Englishmen in a rock garden,
there was an occasional occurrence of desperate-times-call-for-desperate-measures bike maintenence,
we had fire jumping,
there were some hot springs,
we had flat tracking through piles of vomit,
late one night, following a series of whippets, we arrived at the natural conclusion that a fart lighting competition was in order.
Anyhow- to continue, we had some bruises that looked like cats,
we had some sweet sleeping accommodations,
and we had some vistas that reminded us just exactly where our place in the universe is.
Finally, I have to reiterate that the trails through this slice of heaven are utterly world class. Some are buffed beyond description, some are rocky, some are rooty- in one instance there was actually a creek running down the trail which we had to navigate, but in every instance, they absolutely defined perfection.
I have to thank the folks who went on this trip, Western Spirit, El Corpo for defending me in my absence, Cheever for wearing knee-high sheers for this photo op, and you dear reader, for sitting through this.
Well now leave you with a sucinct description as only Geno could deliver.
PLEASE, I mean PLEASE somone please post this to the bummer life. I simply cannot believe this. Vocally, she is miserable. Visually, who the fuck thinks that guns and babies are a good thing. Overall, I think Cartman did it more justice, but nothing has been more beuatifully bad than this in the last 30 years since the KING left us.....
So maybe he's missed a Crusty or two due to pool parties or riding with J Mak and the Mid-west cartel, but there will be no slamming of Stevil on this site while he's out pondering quantum physics or how the little ships do in fact get inside the little bottles.
I'm here to defend Lil Buddy....pool party (ouch that hurt) and all.
A few schizophrenically listed items for your consideration.
First off, Landon from Tonic Fabrication gave us a shout to give up the skinny on their bike appropriately named "The Fall Guy".
Finally, someone who gives a damn.
And being the purveyors of the technological forefront that they are, Tonic also included this guide for everything youll ever need to know about bicycle suspension.
From the Mikes Bikes side of the tracks, Martin Werneth, AKA Stephanwolf AKA Warpath, (alright, I just made that last one up) has sent this article summing up the handwriting on the wall everybodies seen all along.
"the needle and the damage done.
stop tryin to save face and save the motherfather sport!
ufff.
luv
stephenwolf
aka
martin werneth"
Maybe it was time for a changing of the guard. Hell, Bruyneels a pretty smart cookie. Im sure he will figure something out.
You know whos also a smart cookie? The Evil Pixie. Thats who.
She writes;
"Perhaps the bummer life could use some dancing music and shit."
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We also recieved the sad news of another fallen soldier from ENB;
"This Friday, August 10th, a new ghost bike and plaque will be place at the base of the Williamsburg Bridge close to where Jon was killed.
Friends of Jon, please join us in remembering our fallen friend.
The bike will be dedicated around 10pm.
Afterwards, we will move over to Rockstar bar to toast Jon and try to celebrate Jon's memory in a way that would make him proud.
PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD. JON HAD MANY FRIENDS IN THIS WORLD. Bronx Jon, rest in peace."
Those of us unable to be there in person will definitely be there in spirit.
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Back in the lords year of 1991, the hills in Oakland California experienced one of the worst residential fires recorded, during which almost 3,000 homes were destroyed. A partial aftermath of this was a bonanza of empty pools, which is where Royce Nelson and I first became aquatinted. He rides a pool with the grace and fluidity that is nearly unmatched and always a pleasure to witness.
The thing that forever struck me was the expression on Royces face. He could have been building a snowman, reading a book, tirelessly attempting to stick one over the deathbox, or staring at his cereal. His face never changes.
Now then, if you dont have your drool cup handy, you best go fetch one cause youre gonna need it.
Also, Im on my way out of town, so heres a picture of the shirt Im wearing for you to remember me by.
Ashley once asked me if anyone ever randomly beats me up for wearing this.. I said 'sorta'.
By chance, is anyone familiar with the East Bay Rats?
Those guys are clowns. These guys are not.
Anyhow, Im gonna be away from this thing for a while so itll be up to El Corpo, Pinto, Stevie, Zoltron, Halston, Bob Roll, and the host of others who occasionally make an apperance here to keep the home fires burning.
The continuing mish-mash of the Bummer Life avoidence program.
I swiped this pic that The Doughnut Queen took of Opie from Hurl to notify you of an extraordinarily important, and sadly overlooked celebration. Its the International Canned Beer Month right now, which really is no different in our world than every other month.
This piece here is near and dear to my heart...
...My heart which is heavy with this bit of news from Peter.
"Tragedy struck Tuesday as a bicyclist was killed on Mission St. here
in our own Santa Cruz. the article is here.
fucking horrible to happen to someone on his way to work at 8 am. i
pass that intersection everyday on my way to work and it scares the
shit out of me to think that I could've been that guy."
Anybody whos spent more than five minutes riding in traffic could have been that guy. Its safe to always assume that no one in a vehicle can see you and those who can, are probably out to get you.
Through all of the years Ive spent messengering, and on the road in general, the split second outcome of a split second lapse in concentration on my part, or the part of the motorist is never far from my mind.
And I repeat- Our hearts go out to the victim and his family. Lets please continue to be careful out there.
Now then, d*pow, hero to the downtrodden hath sent forth notification of a bicycle related event that one and all should surely pay heed to.
Theres no word on whether or not the various aspects of competition will involve tanks in a maze, a shrinking cylinder one has to shoot their way into the top of, or rapidly multiplying spiders.
Anyone who spent any amount of time at a 7-11 between the years of 1986 and 1989 knows what Im talking about.
So has anybody seen this? And does anybody want to loan me their copy? And does anyone recognize just how tore up Scot Breithaupt looks?
I guess spending alot of time in a converted school bus will do that to a man. I mean, just ask The Bear, Zeke, Chever, Sov, or Captain Dave.
Before they kill you, they might even tell you the truth.
And speaking of which, is there truth in that being fat is actually cool? According to Loudass, there is.
Though Loudass doent look nearly as fetching in his fur cod piece as Hank.
In our continuing effort to bring you periodic slices of art that doesnt suck, allow us to introduce you to Mr. Fernando Nieto.
Also, if any of you folks are kicking yourselves for not making any summer vacation plans, might I recommend Duke Fest for next year? Yeah, I kinda cant believe it ether. However, Im still waiting for "The Fall Guy Fest"
That Lee Majors is one handsome devil.
CO had a bit of insight for the poor soul with the cracked carbon, and a wife with a cheating heart.
"Dear Cracked Carbon Outsourced Stem, Canadian (possibly) Built Frame Owner,
It would be my recommendation to sell the above mentioned fractured steed, and immediately get yourself in contact with one of the following:
Rick at Hunter Cycles(dot)com,
Curtis at Inglis Cycles(dot)com or
Tony at Pereira Cycles(dot)com.
Or any other reputable steel frame builder....You may have to wait a month or six, but when your new rig arrives, not only will you be one badassmotherfucker, you should be able to run that cheating bitch and her (more than likely) tech industry lovah over with relative ease, and put one hell of a dent in his H2 to boot....your new lugged beauty will come out of the ordeal with nary a scratch.
Tailwinds,
CO (filling in for Abby, cause she has a rash)"
COs gonna put Abby out of a job.
And speaking of custom builders, Sean from Soulcraft and I have been going back and fourth on just what kind of bike I wanted him to build for me. Finally I just got tired of trying to decide, and knowing that Sean is well educated in what I like in a bicycle, I told him to just build me the bike that he felt most suited my personality. Among the options available, such as the Alma Pura, and the Groundskeeper, I now present you the newest bike in the Soulcraft family, 'The Super Retarded Ninja Ice Cream Machine', taken after my high school nickname.
Now well finish up with the wildly popular Friday Hero segment.
The almighty son of the almighty, Taylor Phinney has done the incredible. Mini Phinney walks away with a pocket full of gold.
Like Big Dave says, 'damn skippy'.
Seriously- a 24 second gap? You gotta be kidding me.
All I can do with 24 seconds is forget what I was doing, remember, and forget again.
Congratulations kid, youve made us all very proud.
Also, at the request of Super Boss, heres the return of Petey Macks 'Spoke', which now will forever have a home over there in our videos section to your left.
Alright- The weekend is upon us. Like the Minneapolis Mafia says, "everybody get ddooooowwwwwnnnnn."
I've never written to you before, but I need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife is cheating on me. The usual signs; if my phone rings, I pick it up, and the person on the other end hangs up. My wife has been "going out with the girls" a lot recently, although when I ask their names, she always responds, "Just some friends from work; you don't know them." I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyways, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down, I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night, she went out again, and I really checked on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my bikes so that I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from her night out with "the girls." When she got out of the car, she was buttoning up her blouse, which
was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment, crouching behind my Cervelo, when I noticed that the Carbon stem appeared to have a hairline crack right by the handlebar mount.
Is this something I can fix myself, or should I take it back to the
bike shop where I bought it?
Alright, weve got a whole slew of good stuff on deck. First up, me saying that I was gonna be in Vegas was just a ruse to get the Swobo bean counters to figure a way for me there. I gotta travel in a crate, but free transport is free transport.
To continue, George has upped the ante in questionable email content, and we love him dearly for it.
"Brohans-
why isn't there a merino jersey with a camaro on it?
duh the Camerino jersey. thanks. Might be good self
defense for the down south road ride and maybe in a
discreet nascar color scheme
bike shame, as soon as Kevin Bacon in Quiksilver,
Kevin Costner in American Flyers, and/or Jessica
Simpson in blonde ambition become as revered as Steve
McQueen in american society we'll continue to be lame.
At least Bacon and Costner sported killer mustaches in
the films. Can you imagine how awesome Cru Jones in
RAD felt picking up Lori Laughlin (full house) at a
school dance to the song "send me an angel," Danny
Noonen's epic dismount in Caddyshack and the bike
scene in ET. Perhaps Daniel Laruso put the final nail
in the coffin of american cycling coolness when he
throws his BMX in the dumpster after getting his ass
kicked by the Cobra Kai DOJO. "Put him in a body bag
johnny!" "Sweep the leg johnny"
And a few more pics of awesome Fort Collins: where you
go when you run a campus stop sign on a saturday, what
you do when you can't find your bike, mucho hand
holding, and who keeps you warm really matters.
mega lame,
george"
Ive got three words for you. Tupac bedspread. George lives the life of a cartoon character.
Speaking of which, CO wrote in a new rant, of sorts.
"It seems as if "Dubba" A.K.A. Brandon Dwight is selling the shit out of his goods over at Dopers Suck. For those of you who don't know him, Brandon has been a huge part of the cycling scene both here in Colorado with his shop Boulder Cycle Sport (authorized Swobo dealer) where 'cross is king and kids rule, and on a national level with his years of work with IMBA making sure that all us dirtbags have someone in our corner when "The Man" is trying to put the kibosh on access to our favorite trails....Shoot over to the site and pick yourself up a shirt or a jersey...or when visiting B-Town drop some skrill on a Sanchez, Otis or Folsom...If your really lucky he'll help you with your 'cross mounts/dismounts in the parking lot!!!"
Now then, for your edification, theres this here article that a friend submitted. This of course is the condensed version. The extended copy ended with 'no duh'.
JMac sent this beaut in with a note attached simply stating 'I gots some work to do'. Dont worry young J- youve almost got it down.
Fluffyclyde also sent a video in. I remember sitting in the theatre in Kennet Missouri in 1982 with my cousin awaiting this scene with great anticipation as Id just read an extensive article about it in BMX Action Magazine and as the opening credits began to roll, the kid next to me said "if this movie is scary, Im out of here."
Now to continue, the Urban Velo store is now open for business. Help Brad and Jeff maintain the lavish lifestyle to which theyve become accustomed.
Next, we have a flyer for an alley cat that someone somewhere will be excited about. If you know, youll go. Richmond Virginia maybe? Yeah... I think so.
Lastly, a warm, sloppy and piled high with affection congratulations to the Evil Pixie and the Bear on their recent knot tying.
Im hoping that by the time the trade show rolls around they still have enough love left over to share some with me.
'KnowwhatImean?
![dirtra[1].jpg](http://www.howtoavoidthebummerlife.com/weblog/archives/dirtra%5B1%5D.jpg)
