Robert Goulet eats hay to pray today, some say its gray Monday.
Skotty recently had a Big Dave sighting. Looks like hes been engaging in some secret training.
George wrote in to first ask us a technical question, and then to prove with photos that his life is more fun than ours.
"Hey dudes,
quick question, do the liners have a "high rise" fit
or fit more like a pair of boardshorts (low rise)?
There's not a shop around Aspen listed, but I'm stoked
on the product.
anyway rock out. bummer life is awesome.
enjoy some pics from our boys going away night
"bachelor party." if you haven't, you should have a
faux bachelor party with your crew, free shots and
chicks all around. and spring time in fort collins,
co.
laterd
george"
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We want the bullet train to Georgeville. Its a nice place to be any time of the year.
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Ryan also gave us a shout this weekend.
"Hey Guys,
Been a fan for a while. But I found some great Rasmussen sightings that I have posted on my blog.
Ryan Guay"
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That Ryan is a busy character, and we whole heartedly enjoy and support pullyourpantsup.com. Hell, as much as we enjoy pulling our pants up, why wouldnt we?
Later on over the weekend, Hawk, who is better known to some as the vice president of the Chest Hair Now! action group wrote in to give us a whats what in the world of moustache related art.
"Hey dewdz. It's snakehawk. in north crackalina. Just thought i'd send you a pic from my recent art show. It can be viewed in its fullest glory (which isn't all that much) over at drunkcyclist.com, or on my gay myspace.com/snakehawk page. Later. Happy 'stacheing.
Hawk."
So for a few years there, a small and dedicated group of us in the Bay Area held an annual 'Moustache Bash'. Each year for upwards to six months, the individual contestants would groom their own style of stache in preparation for the event. At one point last year at about month 4, my better half moved into kiss me, and suddenly recoiled exclaiming that my moustache smelled of Parmesan cheese. This wouldnt have been so bad if it were not for the fact that I had been nowhere near any Parmesan cheese.
Anyhow, its been said by those who know the two of us individually, that we should never cross paths with one another for fear of, as one of his close friends put it, the universe folding in on itself.
Hawks planning to be in attendance at next years moustache party, so when the universe begins to collapse, youll know why.
Id now like to present to you the first years winner, yours truly.
And speaking of folks who appreciate moustaches, CO and I were emailing one another at some point over the weekend discussing important things like hangovers and muscle cars, and he laid some heavy info on me.
"Did you know that the "Plum Crazy" color Challenger was affectionately known as "Statutory Grape" cause the pervy dude that was out of High School but always went to the High School parties more often than not had one."
Like Wooderson says, "that's what I love about these high-school girls. I get older, they stay the same age."
And now to continue. From moustache greatness to a serious problem for New York artist, Alain Ket Maridueña who could use some help and awareness of his situation.
"Online Auction to Support KET's Defense Fund
Shepard has joined many of Alain Ket Mariduena's friends in supporting his on going battle with the NYC courts by presenting an Art Benefit for Alain Ket's Legal Defense. Art will be auctioned off on July 26th and an event will be held on August 1st in NYC with proceeds going towards the defense fund.
Alain Ket Maridueña is a publisher, writer, Hip Hop historian, activist and graffiti artist from New York City. He was charged in New York City courts (Brooklyn, Queens, and Manhattan) on counts of felony criminal mischief, possession of graffiti tools, and X., all relating to a search performed on his home in New York City in late 2006.
Alain Maridueña's arrest had come in the context of a growing anti-graffiti sentiment in city government due to the growing gentrification of New York City and as part of the Mayor Bloomberg's quality of life push, one started by former Mayor Rudy Giuliani. Alain's arrest appears to be politically motivated attack for his involvement with Marc Ecko and Ecko's successful lawsuits against the city of New York in order to hold a graffiti event and repealing a spray paint sales ban to 18 year olds. Many consider the charges against Alain excessive.
Alain's court cases are ongoing and his family and friends will be raising funds to pay his legal defense, setting up public events to educate people about the incarceration of artists, and providing financial, logistical, and legal support to Alain throughout his proceedings.
For more information visit Support Ket(dot)org and The Walls Belong To Us(dot)com"
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Ok- now back to the regularly scheduled nonsense, well leave you with a few more specimens of masculinity.
"I just want a woman who can get down and bowl!"
And last but not least, I recently got word that the first season of The Fall Guy is now available from Netflix.
Im not entirely positive, but I may have just died and gone to Heaven.
Jody, Colt, Howie and Jack stare holes into my souls.
Ok, so my brother sent me this link in 2004 and I just clicked it for the first time.
Sometimes I don't check my mail for a couple hundred weeks, but I always get around to it sooner or later.
That said, THIS is exactly what Al Gore had in mind when he invented the Internet in 1996.
Kids drawings, Tour dopes, vacations and fuzzy reapers all mean its Friday.
Years ago a friend forwarded me this website, and eventually, it went away. Im pleased to announce that the 'your kids art sucks' site is back, and is now renamed I am better than your kids.
Another website which we frequently enjoy, is The Drunk Cyclist. One you might not know about is DCs newest venture, I Believe Vino.
Im not going to subject you to my take on this years scandal riddled Tour, but what I will say is that I feel a profound sense of disappointment about something I already thought to be true. Kind of like finding out Santa Claus isnt real.
As a child you have a pretty good sense that its a bunch of hooey, but you really like the idea of believing. That kinda how pro cycling is to me. I really want to believe.
Heres another link that if you havent seen it before, then let us be the first to welcome you from beneath your rock. I cant look at it, cause it hurts my eyes.
Continuing on- Davin from Mikes Bikes (one of my Alma maters, dont you know) wrote and sent on this oldie, but goodie.
He writes;
"Afternoon folks-
Just wanted to drop you a line that a bunch of us Bay Area cats here at Mikes Bikes are pretty addicted to Avoiding the Bummer Life. Thanks for keepin' it hilarious day after day. We get ridiculous amounts of traffic to our site, and because of the inspiring nature of Bummer Life I started a list of blog links. You're number one, G.
I've also been quietly lobbying the powers that be on bringing in Swobo shazzle. Our service manager in SF, Martin Werneth, bought a Sanchez and we're of the opinion that it's pretty freakin' dope. Nice work.
Anyhoo I'll make with the link already. You've probably seen this, but if not here's what happens when Contador gets caught stealin'.
Happy pedalin'!"
Like I said before.... I really want to believe.
The previously mentioned Drunk Cyclist, as some of you might know, was creamed by a car a little over a year ago. At that point, I began scheming a trip to ride all 100 miles of Oregons Umpqua River Trail. My reasoning was that although he was royally screwed then, perhaps the promise of this trip would give him something to work towards on his road to recovery, and give a few others who Id asked along a reason to take stock in their lives, as well as the lives of their friends.
Well, to make a long story short and after all was said and done, The DC isnt going to be able to make it after all, but a few other derelicts are, and you can bet its gonna be a good time.
Believe me Jonny, well be celebrating your life over every one of those 100 shaded, loamy, and buffed miles of singletrack.
Speaking of 100 miles of singletrack, CO wrote with a bit of news;
"I guess I gotta recant my wish for the alcohol monitoring bracelet....seeing that my favoritest coke whore (of which Aspen is crawling) got nailed again...That fire crotch...Just when I thought young Hollywood was getting clean! What a dissapointment..Are there any heroes left??..Rode the Leadville 1-0-0 course today...a real motherfucker says I says I.
XOCO"
Hes gonna be so pinched when he finds out it was actually me who was partying with Lindsey on her most recent night of debauchery.
And now for the ever popular Friday Hero segment.
Everybody say hello to Oscar.
If he was my cat and he rubbed up on me, Id throw him the hell out the door.
"Get out of here with your little cute and fuzzy kiss of death!"
Steps to a good weekend;
1) Wear a straw hat.
2) Ride a bicycle.
3)Throw your underpants away.
4) Have a cocktail out of a tiki mug.
Another slice of Heaven from your friends at the Bummer Life.®
First up, Michael wrote to let us know his spoke card has more street cred than our spoke card has.
Alright. Theres alot of stuff on You tube, you know? Yesterday Buzzard pulled me aside and we watched the 10 most horrifying boil extractions. I wont subject you to that, but here is a nice little song about Americas most beloved president. No, not Bush Jr.- The other one.
And now to continue. If you dont think hot chicks with guns are kinda weird and cool, like Blade says, 'youre outta yo damn mind'.
We got busy again last evening. Stoner didnt crash, Buzzard did, we saw a lot of baby deer, and all eventually arrived safely home to fall into our beds.
Its funny just how much effort that doing this the morning after actually takes sometimes.
Alright. Like the both of us, this is about all of this that I can take.
And speaking of drop dead sexy, Michael sent on this weeks WTF award winner. Its our honor to present to you the hottest thing in Puritan wear.
My god, its the late 1800s all over again.
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So do you all remember the saga of Charlie the Unicorn from a few weeks back? Upon viewing that clip Id mentioned that it made me feel as though it had revived some residual LSD that might be floating around my body. You know, but in kindof a good way. This clip from Mark makes me feel like that, but kindof in a bad way.
Do you like art that doesnt suck? We do. Travis Louie makes art that doesn't suck.
I saw one of my oldest and dearest friends this weekend, who is about to be a father. His lovely girlfriend mentioned that he trys to speak to the baby through her bellybutton, as though its some sort of organic microphone.
He said that hed read that babies inurtro respond to lower sound frequencies. She said she thinks hes scaring the little tyke. I said they should name him Stevil Mambypamby Machine gun HIYAH! Balloon Barber Kinevil Perkinson. ''Hes going to resent you anyway', I reasoned, 'why not take a preemptive strike?'
They said no.
And now finally, Ill leave you with a public service announcement that Becker sent to us. Its says somewhere in the bible that all things day-glo are true.
Steve P and Loudass both gave me a hard time about missing out on a traditional one speed event this weekend. Here is a picture of one of them. I cant tell which.
You know, I love bicycles. They truly do make my world go round, but the down side is that even when I dont want to be, Im still up to my eyeballs in em. Sometimes its nice to take a break, sleep in, go float around a pool, and drink your weight in beer and catch up with some old friends while solving some of the worlds problems and maybe never even mentioning the word 'bicycle'. I make no apologies for missing the event. Besides, if Id gone, I wouldnt have spent the entire day with her
Life has a funny way of presenting you with simple solutions to seemingly not-so-simple problems.
But next weekend I think I wanna do this.
Im sure by now, everyones seen the footage of Burghardt hitting the dog, but Byron sent the Daily Mail article on to us just the same.
Now this is nether here nor there, but who wants a sock monkey?
Its funny cause seeing the MC5 video reminded me of the part of the book telling about how the MC5 were renting out this Frat house in Ann Arbor and the Stooges moved in because they were hungry. And the fact that I had gone to parties in that fucking Frat house my freshmen year well before I knew it was old MC5 stomping grounds.
And the record store Iggy worked at is now a fucking Starbucks.
Yafro"
You know, like I said, and as much as I dont like it sometimes, life goes on. Remember last year when I mentioned the spot in Downtown Denver where Tom Headbanger used to have underground shows which from time to time would turn into near riots? That houses a property investment agency now.
Ehhh, they probably needed it more anyhow.
And now finally, the cats at Urban Velo are hard at work on issue number three, and are always looking for contributions for their 'I love riding in the city' segment. Get busy and loan em a helping hand.
Now its time I make like a hockey team, and split.
Or is that a banana?
Ok, are you all sitting down? This is a damn trip. Colins story begins as such; (understand, this was three weeks ago.)
"Last week I was involved in the worst bike crash I've ever been in. Stupid road bikes!
Here's the story for those of you who don't already know:
I was riding down Hwy1 above Davenport last Sunday with Preston and Michael. I was in the front at the top of a big hill doing about 30 in the bike lane. I looked down for a second, heard Preston yell car and looked up so see a Cadillac sideways directly in front of me. Evasive action time! From what I've been told I did a beautiful locked up drift around the back of the car but didn't quite make it. I clipped the back of my bike on his bumper and got tossed. I rag dolled down the Highway about 35-40 feet and fortunately stayed in my lane. I hurt everywhere but was conscious. The guy that cut me off got out to see if I was alive but then promptly took off, Preston got plates. Lots of people stopped including a doctor chick, after noticing how cute she was I decided I was going to live. After an hour of laying on the Highway I was loaded into an ambulance and taken to Dominican. Preston and Michael had to ride back. I got a large shot of morphine and took a bunch of Xrays. Besides the obviously broken right collar bone (damn, that was the good one) I had a cracked rib and a further CAT scan reveled a 4 inch long crack in my right pelvis. Looks like I'm not going to be doing much for a while. I spent two days in the hospital and went home to recuperate in Fremont. On Friday I went back to get a titanium plate put in my collar bone. I'm now stuck in my parents living room for a couple of weeks trying to get more mobile everyday.
The guy that hit me was arrested on Tuesday for driving without a license, driving without insurance, and felony hit and run. He's some local dirt bag with priors so I won't be getting any money out of him.
I do have health insurance and what's not being covered by that will be by AAA who so far have been awesome.
Other people in the awesome category are my work for letting me work from home while I recuperate, all of my friends who have visited me and wished me well, and most importantly my parents who are nursing me back to health with out complaint.
Thanks everybody,"
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Then the saga continues today;
==============================================================
"Karma's a Bitch!
As most of you know I was hit by car on my bike three weeks ago. It was a hit and run and I was seriously injured. See the blog to catch up on that story because it gets crazier.
The dirt bag who hit me was arrested and released the next day pending charges. He goes surfing that afternoon and wipes out hard. He's now a paraplegic! Not that I wish paralyzation on anybody but it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
BTW, I'm getting better and more mobile everyday. I should be back together in a month.
-Colin"
==============================================================
Yeah. You guys chew on that for a little while.. Everybody have a good weekend, rubber side down and all of that other cliché nonsense.
First off, were gonna start with the WTF award.
Here you go. Congratulations.
Jerry hooked us up with some wicked props, and pictures of a stroke of genius.
"I wanted a Folsom, but it is way too much money for me.
I turned my Chinese Honda into the best equivilent.
Picture attached.
It is just great...
Thanks very much for the inspiration !!
Jerry..."
No Jerry, thank you.
That rules.
Another Wednesdays come and gone, and along with it, several cans of beer, some bananas, beef jerky, a little whisky, some of Buzzards leg, and so on.
Friendly Paul and Skinny Bee were this weeks guests of (dis)honor, and to celebrate, Friendly Paul crashed his bike into a crowd of Wednesday Night Riders for no discernible reason. Thats why we call him Friendly Paul.
This weeks event was a hare and a hound style format, with the ever pleasant A.K. acting as the hare.
Suffice it to say, A.K. won the race.
Over the course of the evening, we murdered a million beer cans, enjoyed a lovely view, drank a beer or two, ate our weight in mexican food and eventually made it to the safe confines of the bar. All in all, another fine hump day.
So we were talking about pranks the other day, and I remembered a favorite of mine.
Step 1) Open a roll of fruit flavored Life Savers.
Step 2) Remove the first three off and put them in your mouth.
Step 3) Go into your victims shower.
Step 4) Remove the shower head.
Step 5) insert remaining Life Savers into pipe.
Step 6) Replace shower head.
Step 7) Bask in the glow of success.
See, as the victim showers, the hot water will begin to disolve the candy, leaving a subtly sticky sheen all over their body. Beef bullion cubes will also work in a pinch, and is especially effective for vegetarians.
I dont know why Sky or El Corpo dont invite me over for dinner anymore.
Ok, so weve covered God pajamas, conversions, Wednesdays, and pranks.
What did we forget? Oh yeah, your daily dose of art that doesnt suck. Dan Witz makes art that doesnt suck.
And speaking of art, CO has successfully turned non-sequitur laden jibber jabbering into an art form.
He writes;
"So I have decided to bite the bullet and buy a 17 year old irrelevant socialite style Alcohol Monitoring Bracelet. Alcohol Monitoring(dot)com...
It won't be the first time I have worn an ankle bracelet, so having an awkward clunky thing around my leg wont be an issue...I am not trying to solve any sort of abuse problem, I just think seeing how much friends and family consume after Friday night rides would be fucking hilarious....Now Pete and Potter at Vecchios(dot)com can keep track of just how many PBR oil drums they drink between 4 and closing time....No more fibbing fellas! Not to say I think there is any sort of problem, I would hate for you boys to cut me off....From the worlds finest maintenance, and free hooch!!!
CO
And now finally, Becker sent an email to me simply titled 'make a dirtbag pay'. Always intrigued by street justice, I opened this link about Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick getting popped for dog fighting. There were 60 dogs in various states of ill health and injury on his property, and Ive read that his excuse was that he wasnt home that day.
You know, one thing that really bums me out is folks who abuse animals. Suspension, and incarceration is way too good for this kook.
You know, the problem with putting together such mesmerizingly powerful posts here day after day is sometimes theres nothing to write about. Sometimes theres no videos of midgets pole vaulting, no flyers for upcoming alleycats, no funny pranks... Oh wait- scratch that last part.
This works for roommates, dads, brothers, cousins... Men generally, due to the the fact that (in my experience anyhow) the ladies tend to prefer the non-chalky antipersperant.
Its quite simple, really, just carve the deodorant out of the little white deodorant can, and replace it with cream cheese. Smooth over the top, and maybe drop a hair on to it for good measure.
There you go. Fun for the whole family.
Ok- anyhow, The New Belgium Brewery has got their nation wide Tour de Fat underway again.
The website states "grab your bike, and slip into your alter-ego". Now what if ones alter ego wasnt any more than just the fact they were on a bike? Thats right folks. I believe thats what they call 'abstract post-modern thinking'.
And then theres this guy.
In regards to the art handling mistake in the previous photos of the Mueck installation, some folks said no gloves, which was correct, some folks said studded belts, and open sweatshirts with hanging zippers, which was also correct, but the glaring blunder to which I was referring was letting the artist aid in the installation. Artists are known far and wide as being manic, egomaniacal, obsessive-compulsive, and anally retentive.... And those are the redeeming qualities.
No, actually it was that he wasnt wearing linen gloves.
So why the hell did we only find out about this on Sunday?
An event right in our backyard, that, if Im not mistaken, we helped sponsor? Oh, I dont know. I cant remember where I got the flyer..
Anyhow, Ill betcha it was a goodie. Flyers for events with big cats on em usually are.
Whats else?
I dont know. Nothing from this end.
Some bikers are dumb, some are hurt, and other notes.
Open up your notebooks- class is in session.
Now for a short lesson in trail etiquette. After a peaceful ride with Becker this weekend, we were on the final climb before crossing onto the road and beginning our trek home. Just then, not one or two, but five completely out of control mountain bikers came crashing past us, actually piling up on top of one another as they passed, the last of which was ironically wearing a full face helmet and earphones.
We hollered some expletives to one another, but they never even slowed down, and finally yelled for me to 'mellow the f___ out'.
Now then, this is a parcel of land containing multi use trails that is more or less encapsulated by an even larger parcel of land containing trails that are only legal for hikers. Through both parcels runs a fire road that only a year and a half ago was deemed by the State of California as being illegal to have bicycles on. Advocacy groups fought tooth and nail and finally had the judgement overturned in a benchmark supreme court hearing. I doubt Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, and Dumber were aware of any of these facts, and had they been riding mountain bikes longer than say, a week, they might also be well aware of the fact that there actually is a whole world existing beyond the end of their noses, and emulating the garbage they just saw on their buddys freeride video on a densely populated trail system just doesnt fly.
You know, not that any of those knuckleheads know how to read and in reality will ever cross the Bummer Lifes path, but let me just say that crashing into someone on horseback, a family with small children, or any of the other folks one encounters daily on those trails (or any multi-use trails for that matter), youre gonna have a world of hurt that simply yelling 'mellow out' wont fix, and sadly the impact will effect a lot of people who ride and have worked hard to maintain a legal status for bikes in the park.
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Alright, from a saga of the stupid to a saga of the sad. The one and only JMac
wrote us a bit about a recent battle he had with gravity. Suffice it to say, gravity won.
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"I'd like to apply for the Friday zero position if I could.
I'm typing mainly with one hand if that's any indication of my sad
situation.
There's no way it will affect the Umpqua trip should I be lucky enough to
get onto the roster.
Regardless...
I was feeling craze-stirry today so I set out on the typical, up Tam, fool
around up high and then bomb down to cold brews, big food and all the rest
of the stuff that makes doing hard rides worth the effort.
At this point I'll make a public service announcement by saying cigarettes
do not make "hard rides" "worth it".
I topped the mountain felling pretty spunky. I saw a duo just starting down
eldridge on softies and decided to see how the new IveSS would treat me.
It was a relief to know that the bike was making up for my complete lack of
better sense and more than correcting my bad line picking. The princess
tracked like someone who wanted desperately to show me that descending could be done in a controlled and predictable manner.
A third of the way down I passed those dudes and not long after that I saw a
guy coming up who looked remarkably like tom ritchey. Super tall with a
sweet 'stache, weird 'fro lookin' hair do, riding UP eldridge on a hardtail
and NOT looking distressed. Whatever....
Anyway, I made it through the rest of the loop feeling pretty OK. So I took
that as a sign that I was in for a spell of self back patting and that I
wasn't the complete waste-oid that I thought I was.
I was rounding the fire station heading for the top of tenderfoot when I
silently realized to myself that on the last few bends I wasn't really
"feeling it" through the corners. You know, when you're on some technical
trail and no matter how much you're concentrating you're still barely
staying upright.
I get to a substantial left hander that is carved out on top of a spillway
drain that funnels water down the ravine. I must have grabbed the brakes
wrong because the next thing I knew I was upending it over the bars and
looking straight down about 10 feet into what those fuckers love to build
culverts out of.
Rocks
Rocks
Rocks
Sharp rocks
Rocks
I landed on my bad hand and in a strange instant was thankful for not
breaking my collarbone. However I cannot tell you how I was able to know
that much less think that thought in such a short time.
After I came to a stop, I laid in an awkward heap and did a mental
assessment of the damage. When I realized I was not fucked, I picked myself
up and counted down the areas that hurt. The first and last were my left
hand. (Yep, the one I wipe with)
It hurt just as bad as all the other times I broke stuff in that region, so
I knew and know Its fucked. Just don't know how bad yet.
On pure adrenaline I mounted, rode down the rest of the way and as soon as I
hit pavement everything started hurting real bad.
Strangely, I managed to completely miss my head with all the tumbling and
the rocks and what not. Totally welcome.... but weird.
I'm going to go to general on Monday and pretend I'm homeless (even though
that's not exactly helping the totally fucked healthcare system) because its
that or be crippled and I don't like that reality. But a page out of M.
Moore's book tells me that there's really not much else I can do.
Suggestions welcome....
So, in sum' I'm hurting but glad I'm alive.
I'm looking forward to the pool party. I guess I can work on my tan but
you'll have to excuse me if I don't bust out the "Triple Lindy".
Please, if you want to use this episode for the blog, embellish it so's I
look more handsome. Cause you know I have a thing about that thing on my
thing.
Yours,
jay"
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The best I could come up with was to tell him to go to Canada and get in on some of that tasty socialized medicine. Before he goes, we think he should brush up on some Canadian history.
Sit back and soak up some history on Halifax.
CO wrote in a day late and a dollar short, but after pitching woo at his mom, I figured I owed him.
"Sheit....Looks like I missed out on hero Friday, but would like to wish a happy birthday to my dad (68), who at this time last year was kicking the shit out of Lymphoma....Now he is spending time doing other things........
Also a few shots of the bike everyone claims does not exist....
Have a bitchin weeked,
CO"
Oh for the love of all that is good...A Cinelli BMX bike? Fuggitaboutit.
And a very happy birthday to the honorable Mr. O.
Im gonna leave you with this. Today I got a postcard in the mail from Ray, with a picture of master sculptor Ron Muecks piece entitled 'A Girl' depicted on it. Ive seen his work before, but this blew me away. His life-like sculptures are absolutely not to be missed. And theres one epicly-mega faux pa in the world of art installers depicted in the top photo. Anybody who can point it out gets a cocktail in Vegas.
Oh, and would you look at this. The kids at Circle A Cycles have a brand new website cooking.
Like that one guy said on that thing that one time, 'stick a fork in me. Im done.'
I think Im gonna go shopping now.
Friday heros are a stoner Jesus, a foul mouthed Cockroach, a pissed monkey, and a sad dog.
And theyre all right here. Residue Comics brand spanking new website.
Or rather the creator of said comics, Mr. Roger Lootine is this weeks Friday Hero. Hes a bespectacled talent with a profound dissent in his heart for many an undesirable aspect of American culture, and is not afraid to put pen to paper to illustrate said displeasures.
Ben Franklin would be proud.
We pretty much shot our wads yesterday, and really have got nothing new to report.
Oh, we got an email a day or two ago from the queen of badass, and occasional contributer to the Bummerlife, Ms. Kristen Ferrell saying that shes got a new gig happening on the web. The Deer and the Moustache.
Ladies, pick yourself up something cute. Fellas, pick your lady up something cute.
Then, everybody, take a trip by Kristens art site, and marvel at what a brilliant freak she is.
Everybody have a rip roaring weekend. Im gonna start mine off with going back to bed. Or to work.. You know,.. probably to work.
Hawk sent me this and said thats what he got into on Saturday or Sunday last week.
I really want to hang out with that guy.
First up, Josh sent us some sorely needed pointers on how to be a good wife, which is a good thing, cause according to this, weve been blowing it all over the place. Except for the ribbon in our hair part. Weve got that down pat.
And this in from Squid;
"We had a killer weekend, raced 47 people at the track on Sunday and raised $450 for our nonprofit NYBMF(dot)org!
Check out my write up on Cyclehawk! I linked Swobo on there.
There will be some vids forthcoming.
Check out Felipe's helmet!? Wait till you see the awards video.
Carlos and I are flying in sat morning May 26 and back out 11:59pm on the 28th.
I am running the event at Hellyer Velodrome that Monday with the Godspeed kids!!
Talking to Billy on the phone yesterday and he is concerned about getting people from SF to the track, it is a holiday so no good for public transport.
We are looking into renting a charter bus and/or a couple of vans!?
Squid truly is the patron saint of the bicycle messenger world.
Josh sent a reminder about the Swobo Alley Cat race in Denver thats coming up.
"Don’t miss the SWOBO Alley Cat in Denver on 7/29. This race is one of several events that will be held during the Rio Grande Fiesta De Bicicleta in the Mile High city of Denver Colorado.
This is a classic alley cat that will test cyclist’s strength and ability to find the checkpoints efficiently. When the race starts, racers will be given a manifest with information on the checkpoints. All racers are required to arrive at the finish line two hours later. Racers must route themselves and decide which checkpoints to visit and which to skip in order to meet the two hour deadline. Expect to see something you’ve never experienced in an Alley Cat!
The first place prize is a complete SWOBO Sanchez track bike. Many other SWOBO prizes will also be handed out to top finishers.
Check it out at: Bike Fiesta (dot) com"
Seriously, look at the flyer. If you are within 300 miles in any direction, how could possibly miss this thing? Please, for all that is right and good- GO.
Weve also got a video sent to us from Frank at Mt. Nittany Wheelworks. Its some truly heart warming shtuff.
I loves me that ad. I really do.
Heres another one thats been making the rounds. We originally had it sent to us a month and a half ago or better, but it got lost in the inbox, then again later and it got deleted, then again later, and it got ignored, then again yesterday.
Alright already. Heres Bat for Lashes.
Now you know, its nether here nor there, but howd you like to check out some really, really bitchin Sno-globes? Ashley sent those on as well as this weeks WTF Award. Id just bet the losers on the Wired Blog would simply go bananas for the thing.
Ok, what else do we have?....Oh, nothing? Really?..
Alright... Well see you .. Uh.. soon..then..
Lets get started with two more albums from my collection that were separated at birth.
Starting this Danzig nonsense was a slippery slope. Kevin had some news for us on this very subject.
"All Danzig! All the Time!
Note the adjectives: disingenuous, utterly egotistical, and inarticulate.
Personally I think hes a wildly misunderstood genius. Somewhere inside of Kevin, I think he agrees with me.
Now to go from the hero with one first name, to the world traveler with two.
"Hi,
Thought you might like this. Wearing my SWOBO with pride at the Tour de France prologue in London on Saturday. The intersection outside Buckingham Palace - normally a seething maelstrom of traffic - becomes peaceful and human with closed roads:
Roger Wyatt
Guildford, England"
Good looking out, Roger. The part of the email I neglected to include were the attached photos of the Swobo stickers he subversively adhered to all 547 of the Royal toilets.
Theres a t-shirt in there somewhere.
The Ghost Shippers are like the Donald Trumps of the bicycle underworld.
Movers and shakers, every last one of em.
"Hey there bummer-lifers,
There's some bike debauchery going down this coming Sat, Jul 14th in the Elm City (New Haven, CT for those not down with the 203)...Ghostship will have a table set up @ the Swap, hocking all sorts of radness...we'll probably be 'ghosting' a checkpoint as well (for the Monopoly race)....will there be some sort of plank walking involved? hmmmmm.....and finally, we'll be racing in the Dash for Cash....trying not to puke on ourselves whilst going fast (or something like 'fast'). If you find yourselves sorting through some sort of drunken haze, wondering why you're wandering around CT this weekend, stop on by. We've got plenty of room in the galley if you need a place to crash. Hope all is going smashingly.
Love
Gship"
July 14th -- Elm City Velo Swap (plus more!)
This is a first for us. Our resident antiques specialist, Tom, has been on the horn with bicycle-swap types for a while now. Come on down and get some new old gear (or old new gear). Got too much in your basement? Borrow a table, call Tom, and get ready to make some beer money. There should be some sort of food presence during, and a nice old-fashioned bicycle beer-beque after. Did someone say skids, trackstands, and polo?
July 14th - Monopoly Alleykitten (and still more!)
Live Action game of Monopoly on the streets of New Haven. Any skill level welcome; previous winners will be turned away (or asked to work a checkpoint). We're hoping this brings out some new riders, so bring a friend.
July 14th - Dash For The Cash
This is the race for the big boys and mean girls. One checkpoint. Hella miles. Helmets and lights will be MANDATORY. No lights/helmet? No race. $10 to get in. Multiple cash prizes. Dash will begin on the New Haven Green at 10pm.
Next up, Vernor mentioned this film to me yesterday, and Sky forwarded me the website today, further proving the theory that great minds really do think alike. Carts of Darknesss.
Mr Adams, who was coincidentally born and raised in Hazard, Kentucky, depicts a Hazard doesnt look quite as fun loving as the one the Dukes lived in.
Now then, there is a special place, near and dear to my heart. It happens to be the backyard pool of a good friend of mine in the Bay Area, at which Ive spent many a warm summer day over the years. The times which we can enjoy said backyard happen with less frequency these days, however a reunion of sorts has been in the works for later this month. Recently I sent my gracious hostess this video expressing my gratitude for her endless hospitality, and since this might possibly be the last of its kind for a while, I thought we should emulate the video and go out in style.
She responded with these few simple words.
"I have dialed the 9 and the 1 and am ready to dial the other 1, when I see the slide."
Ill take that as a definite 'maybe'.
Lets see.. what else...
Oh yeah, Swobos finally got some new goods for the fairer sex.
Personally I tend to wear a smaller shirt on account of that it makes my muscles look bigger. If that reasoning follows, these shirts are gonna make me look hot beyond compare.
Do your eyes hurt like my two index fingers hurt?
I thought so.
Just so theres no mistake, SJE, formerly of Independent Fabrications, formerly before that, the mean streets of Boston, and formerly even before that, Fat Chance Cycles, still knows how to ride a bike pretty damn well. Hes been living out in Boulder for some time and has kept his nose to the grind stone, but found some time to grace us with his presence this weekend, armed with a bike and an 11 pack of beer. After dragging Blacksocks, Santei, Yafro, and me around some trails for most of Saturday, he then proceeded to eat his weight in Mexican food. By the way, at the time I feasted on prawns, wrapped in bacon, stuffed with cheese and deep fried. They had me at 'wrapped in bacon'. That, my friends is what they call 'training food'..
And speaking of the cryptic Colorado connection, CO graced us with a few-day-late overview of his Independence Day.
"Brushing my teeth makes me dehydrated....
The 4th came and went, and not too many shenanigans to report. The annual Aspen group ride to the majestic Maroon Bells ended in a fistfight with a city bus driver (for once alluded by me....but a few impressive haymakers were landed by a national mountain/road racing ledged....guesses??). No hero to nominate this week, but here is a shot of my 68 year old mom ripping single track....
And my nephew in his first bike race (notice the Swobo prototype clipless cowboy boots)...
So what's your excuse...
Oh yeah, a long buried Stevil clip has been unearthed....He is indeed my kind of soldier!!
Avoid the Tour-
CO"
Firstly, COs nephew has definitely got the eye of the tiger happening there. Head down in determination, with unwavering focus. Or maybe hes just watching the ground go by.
And though I dont usually go for 68 year old women, for Codys mom, I would make an exception. You know, if it wasnt for his dad and all.
And let the topic change.....Now.
When punk rock actually still meant something, I was two years old.
The Tour started Saturday, and the peloton has already arrived to town.
Remember, guns dont kill people, people with moustaches kill people.
And speaking of people with moustaches, THE MAN just got a little less intimidating.
If one was from Baltimore, what would one be called? A Baltimoreinian? A Baltimoreat?...Baltimoron?
Anyhow, heres one for any and all Baltimoreites.
Alright, now I used to wrench at this bike shop that usually had the standard cookie cutter freeride videos playing on the in-shop television monitors, and though a majority of what I ever saw, I couldnt really care less about, the antics of Kris Holm never failed to leave me absolutely speechless.
He rides on one wheel, what I could barely dare to attempt on two feet, let alone two wheels.
Then of course theres always Xavier.
Another weekend has come and gone, again leaving us wondering who came up with this five days on, two days off nonsense.
Looks like thats about all weve got....Happy Monday, and stuff.
Secondly, the two previous posts before the story of Roisin Isners tragic accident in Doloris Park are in no way making light of the occurrence, as I only found out about her story this morning. For the very few of you who saw this as an inappropriate gesture, let me say that in the previous posts, I of course was joking (it should go without saying that we dont want folks to be injured on this holiday that is known far and wide to result in just that) and the post for Roisins tragedy was truly an unfortunate coincidence.
Were simply using this as a tool to hopefully help track down the individual responsible.
That said, lets continue.
Dont let anyone attempt to convince you that Amerikuns are less smarter than everybody elses.
Ok, anybody interested in riding in circles, and making some money in the process?
The American Velodrome Challenge is coming to San Jose Californias own Hellyer velodrome July 20th and 21st, and as the kids say, is gonna be off the chain. All the info thats fit to print is right here.
Last evening while toiling away in my shop, I accidentally dropped a home made slob bomb in my tool box which detonated with deadly accuracy.
Id say it was time to get to some sorely overdue Spring cleaning, but its really nothing in comparison to my backyard.
So theres this cat out there in Philly, that goes by the name of Santana, (no relation to Carlos, were assuming) whos doing some really spanky paint jobs. I told him Id give him a plug at some point, and know this my friends, some point is now.
Now, before we part ways, please make sure to go by and pay another visit to a couple sites that make our worlds go round.
#1Bike Snob NYC, and
#2 Hot Chicks With Douchebags.
All yall have a damn fine weekend. Im pretty sure we will. Itll kinda be like we were having a damn fine weekend together.
"Roisin Isner, drummer for the San Francisco band Tinkture lost her hand in Dolores Park last night watching the fireworks. Her dad sent the email below to some local media outlets...
Hello,
I am Roisin's father. July 4th, Roisin and friends were in Dolores Park watching fireworks. Some stupid piece of shit threw an M60 at them. It landed on Roisin's right hand and blew it apart. She will undego surgery later this morning but it doesn't look good. Most likely she will lose her index finger; second and third fingers will also be permanently impaired and disfigured. Needless to say, her musical career is over.
Media attention will help flush him out. People know who did it and I'm offering $20,000 for a name. Please do whatever is necessary to get the story out. Do so and I will reward you as well.
Thank you,
Chris Isner
chrisisner@hotmail.com
------------------------------
Here's a description of the guy who may or may not be responsible for blowing Roisin's hand off:
Please read this and if you know anything do the right thing.
I was there with a group of friends and some (explicit) threw an M60 at us up on the ridge and shook the whole (explicit) ledge. It landed about 5 feet away and our friend Billy had to throw him down the embankment after he approached us waving an empty 40oz bottle b/c we were pissed for almost being blown up. There were HUNDREDS of people siting right where he tossed it. I highly suspect that this is the same piece of shit that blew a girl's hand off in the post below. He was blowing M60's off everywhere and picking up the shells after the fireworks had ended.
Here's the description I remember. If you see someone matching this description on or with this bike, call the cops:
White male. mid 20's. about 5'10". I think that he had a dark newspaper boy cap on, and his messenger bag was black with red and black plaid across the flap. His bike was a medium blue fixed gear with black wheels. It also had some white stickers covering a bunch of the downtube."
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Its a heartbreaking tale to be sure. Sadly, the description of the suspect covers about 95% of the people living in San Francisco presently, but if enough folks keep their eyes peeled, and their ears open, maybe Roisin and her father can get a little bit of closure started.
