Friday Hero number one, two and three.

'Dont get a root canal at the dental school' Friday Hero number four.

'Young Hightowers killing it' Friday Hero number five.

'You should go to collage' Friday Hero number six, seven, eight, nine, and ten.

And lastly, Friday Hero eleventeen and beyond.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 03:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

As fate would have it, I once again had a rendezvous with my secret mistress.
Our times together are short and sweet, which makes our love affair all the more exciting.

And this week weve gotten a slew of stuff in from South African correspondent N@.
Well start at the beginning, and this here news story.

"Guess the moral of that story is "Don't go climbing on roofs with a girl who's last name Tumbleston"

be sure to check out the video interview with the police chief and the homeless couple sitting a a porch swing, as well.

Definitely a Darwin Award worthy performance as well as brilliant Pulitzer Prize worthy journalism."

N@ also mentioned while in Germany at the in-laws, they were looking through boxes of old photos and found some of Swobo in its infancy, El Corpo when he was 15, as well as some random old messenger shots.

Thats kinda what youd call a blast from the past.

We got another from superhero, Steve Garro. It looks like hes still in the process of attempting to use up his nine lives.. My god... my man looks like a cartoon of himself, and Archie Bunker all rolled into one. Note to self; Dont follow Steves dietary instructions.

What else do we have?... Oh yeah, Jeff sent a sweet shot of a cop falling down some stairs at the art museum in Tacoma. I asked him what the story was, and he said the bike cops were training, so they decided to sit and watch. He mentioned that immediately they could tell who was gonna ball it up, so they waited, and sure enough, the clumsy ones didnt disappoint.

That kinda reminds me....My considerably better half once told me that she used to enjoy going to the docks at a local lake in the afternoon with a cooler of beer and a lawn chair, just to watch the drunk people come in in the afternoon and crash their boats into the slips. Thats when I knew she was the one for me.

Its nether here nor there, but Bens throwing this ho-down on the 4th.

Mark your calendars for that one, and this one too.

Ifin any of yall wanna check the photos from the previously mentioned urban/ off road alley cat race, a new batch of photos can be found right over here.

Next up, the folks responsible for bringing you the previously mentioned art show of art-made-by-cyclists-who-dont-make-art-about-cycling, have also been incredibly busy putting out the spanking new issue of Urban Velo, just in time for your bathroom remodel to be complete. Get on it.

Guy sent this on to us. I emailed him back, thanking him and letting him know this is now on my 'to do' list.

You know whats really rad? A tiny picture of Doyle, presently of The Misfits, formerly of Kryst The Konqueror, and formerly before that, The Misfits, again, and Sherman Hemsley. Thats a little square of Heaven, right there folks.

Im thinking my chambers now empty. Ill leave you with this;

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Posted by Tim Parr at 11:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Young Hightower dragged me across a two wheeled tour of hill and dale yesterday, I got home, ate and slept. Now then, today, I worked deep in the salt mine, and finally was released only to fall head first in some mexican food and beer. The Wednesday night ride fell by the wayside, Im afraid...
Weve got some stuff for you. Trust me. its gonna be good, but the bed calls. Im gonna lay it on deep tomorrow.

Until then,

xoS

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 06:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Go where the trail takes you.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 05:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Im not sure where to start, so Ill try at the beginning. And away we go...

Firstly, we have some pictures as well as results from Saturdays Central Coast urban/off-road alley cat extravaganza from Josh;

"Saturday's cyclocat/wildcat race was great- all seemed to agree that
the course was grueling, fun and beautiful. Spectators like myself got
to see high flying competition and fast riding. It's going to take me a
few days to figure out how to get the photos off the borrowed digital
camera, but I'll send out a link when they're up on flickr. We had
fixed gear riders (some w/o brakes and one w/o cages), cyclo cross
racers, messengers, roadies and commuters from around the bay area -- 42
registered in all and 20 or so more rode out to the party. We got up
early and delivered food (ingredients for roasted vegi and sausage
sandwiches, tabouli w/ stone fruits and mint, humus, wine, a keg donated
by a friend at gorden biersch, and about 10 gallons of water, all on
ice) -the keg on a long haul and the rest in bluesky trailers. So when
the race was over, and everyone dehydrated and low bloodsugar, we were
prepared.

1st overall: Joshua Thayer of SF
2nd: Quentin Lindh (fixed of SC)
3rd: David Gill (Santa Cruz)

1st woman: Emily Christensen (SC, but packing up to move to SF as I type)
2nd: Jay Melena (Santa Cruz)
3rd: Elaina Ramer (Santa Cruz)

DFL: Jessica and Sam from Oakland (fixed)

We gave the frameset away by some sort of electoral process whereby each
rider was forced to pick who they thought needed a frame most at the
last checkpoint . . . and that will go to Kelly Brown who narrowly beat
out Stacey Falls (nominated by her SC high students who showed up on
track bikes).

josh"

Well played Josh, well played.

Who wants to talk about Dungeons and Dragons? I never knew how to play, but when I was little, I pretended. I was a D&D poseur. Not at all like this guy.

Becker and I just got back from a visit with 6'7". Hes a determined individual, and as pessimistic a grouch as he portrays himself, hes got a good head on his shoulders about this whole thing.
I suspect hell be beating us up on rides, and berating us in everyday interactions again in no time.

And this from our friend Down Unda;

"Hey Stevil,

Been reading for a while now from downunder here in OzTrailia and love
to keep up with the antics and grouse vids, so i thought it was time
to return the flavour and send you a link i foundski while browsing
the interwebs.

It's a bizarre video set to whimsical classical style muzak but with
what you would upon first inspection believe to be a german gymnast
riding around on a vintage fixie pulling some outrageous tricks for a
full 5 and half minutes. what makes it for me is the golf claps
between stuntz...

You may have already seen this bad-boy, but its my two bobs worth anywho.

-- 
Cheers,
Drw
Melburn, OzTralia"

Theyre getting our transmissions all the way down there in Australia? This means were like, totally world wide now. Im gonna go pour myself a celebratory snifter of something that smells like gasoline.
And how much is two bobs worth anyhow?

And from the ship of ghost;
"Did you know what we have cheerleaders now? Yep...pretty f'n rad. We think you may know them...Check it out:"

I totally thought they were on our team. Somebodys gonna be getting starch in their deluxe crop top cheer shells tomorrow. Yeah, I did a bit of cheering in high school. So what?

Were gonna be plugging the whey out of this here event. Art by cyclists who make art thats not about cycling. Go there, drink beer, wear black clothes, and say stuff like 'juxtaposition of light and dark', and 'various forms of the composition really work', and just see your head spinning from how fast you get laid.

And finally, it is with great pride that I tell you that after years of recon, and missed opportunities, I finally poached the swimming pool behind the house across the street from work today. My nostrils still smell like chlorine, and my friends, chlorine smells like summer.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 02:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Friendly Pauls got jazz hands.

Recently, Erin the sales maven and Sky have been very busy doing dealer visits. They have obviously become quite adept at the jet-set lifestyle, and look absolutely smashing as they travel to and fro spreading the good word of Swobo.

A year ago, my dad and I traveled back to his old stomping grounds of South East Missouri and Arkansas. During our travels, we stopped by the graveyard in which my grandparents, as well as my great grandparents are buried. While walking across the grounds, I came across this tombstone and thought to myself, "Yep. That about sums it up"

Regarding the Wisconsin State Championship Race that happened on Saturday, Devin blessed us with some words and photos;

"It was a blue bird morning in the valley of the Mississippi and we could not have asked for more.. There had been a lot of hype around this race and we were looking froward to what some were calling a riot.. 20+ on the line to start with a short up and down run in to a prologue lap.. On the run, the race was decided and the Brothers were gone.. The local fav, The Josh sat in third and yours truly in 5th- the race was on for the rest of us.. With the Brothers going hard off the front, the rest of chased. These trails here in LaCrosse are all hand built and a lot of time and thought have gone in to them, and this was the first formal race ever held there. Let me say they did not let us down. The uphill log crossing was a hit with a prime for clearing them and more if you could bunny hop them. On the other side of the of the trails, Shimano had a count the monkey contest and you could win a pair of carbon cranks..

At the end of the race it was Creepy Friendly and the Darkness in second, and our boy The Josh in Third.. Myself I started having a issue with my cranks so I sat up a bit and finished in 6th. Great race, great turn out.. Awesome to see so many single and everyone throwing down..

Oh yeah- ran in to this sweet Steve Garro made bike.. nice looking stuff. We all have a year to give it another go for the state title.."

It sounds like an absolute blast, and we are truly filled with pangs of various forms of jealousy. Theres not much that we enjoy more then racing bikes and counting monkeys.

And here we have some crafty kids....

We dont know what theyre selling, but we want it.

This shots been making the rounds as of late, and we figured wed throw it up too. Human beings never cease to bewilder and amaze.

Now everybody pay attention...walkings bad, mmmmmkay?

And finally, in your free time, like right about now, go pay New York Bike Snob a visit. First I laughed, and then I cried. Damn funny stuff.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 08:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

In todays episode, we have some info about the Austrian Cycle messenger Championships, some spew from the ever lovin' CO, some things about some other stuff, and the immensely popular Friday Hero segment. Do you think your brain can handle it?
These girls brains certainly can.

First off, we have to lay a bit of news about the up coming The Austrian Cycle Messenger Championships on you. I expect that the private Swobo jet should be off of blocks by then, and we shall be winging that way directly.

Last time I was in Austria, I was so broke I had to steal a tooth brush to maintain my oral hygiene. It was at that point I realized I hadnt eaten anything more than an apple and a loaf of bread in three days. Ahhh, the follies of youth. I expect this trip wont be much different.

From time to time I get a little high on myself, and think Im a bit of a tough guy, then Ray sends me a clip of Johan Museeuw, and I realize Im not much more than a fat slob.

For some reason that makes me recall a story I heard once. A guy shamelessly asked 'Diamond' David Lee Roth what it was like to be a has-been. He casually replied "better to be a has-been, then a never will be."

It pains me how I resemble that remark.

And from CO;
"I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...but then I swallowed it.

Hope this babble finds you all well, probably getting your proverbial "swerve" on at a happy hour, or in some cases, a sad hour at your local shithole drinkery. I have been out for a bit, but from what I have read in my absence, all hell has broken loose on numerous occasions over the last few weeks...The blog I know and love was likened to someone taking a shit on the keyboard, which is absolute bullshit because I have in fact shat on the keys, and upon doing so ljskfhsduiyrewurjksncfx appeared on the screen...so that dude is a liar.

Stevil came under attack by the "Grumpy Girls" for some strange reason, I still can't figure out if the proper mia culpa's were dolled out, but as far as I am concerned they can go fuck themselves. I for one love having my photo taken, and do so as often as possible....Just as soon as I can get this digi camera stuff figured out you all can see me over and over and over.

Over the past few weeks I rode from Telluride to Moab through the trails of the San Juan hut system. 200 miles of mtn. bike riding through every western scenery one can imagine. It was sort of a celebration cause my pops kicked cancer...70 years old and still ripping the single track.

Today my bro (who just got back from a 6 month tour from Afghanistan) and I rode the Independence Pass leg of Ride The Rockies. One of the nations greatest representation of cycling culture, it was amazing to see 6 year olds on tandems riding along side 68 year old granny's on De Rosa's (my mom). Such a great display of just getting out and doing it, which is, after all, the reason we all ride....right? (That and to get our pictures taken).

The sickest snippet for me was seeing a double amputee, with one arm, killing it all the way to the summit...then riding down. The shit I say!!

Hope you all have a great weekend, lay it down for those who can't,
CO"

I cant recall just how the CO and I began our correspondence with one another, but what I do know is his experiences and observations begged to be documented by camera, and from the first email I received from him in which he described something along the lines of being beat up by an ex girlfriends father for attempting stripper moves on a pole in his house, then breaking it, causing a chain reaction which resulted in our hero being thrown through the screen door and landing on a pile in the middle of a table of food surrounded by the lady of the houses bridge club, I begged him to send some photos.

Were still waiting.

Friend of Swobo, and photog extraordinaire, Peter Haakon Thompson has some work at the Jen Bekman Gallery which is having its opening reception in New York City this evening. If youre in the hood, and are in the mood for some free jug wine, swing by and get youre culture on.

Actually, the offer for a free Swobo t-shirt for anyone whos willing to go to the gallery, and get a picture of themselves laying a sneak attack hug on Peter still stands.
We double dog dare you.

Ive scanned my emails for news of the weird, and things are looking a bit bleak as far as a Friday Hero goes.
Im gonna go out on a limb and offer up this weeks Fridays Hero to anyone who picks me up one of these.
My ring size is 11.
Just like my IQ.

Ok, screw that. Im going to have to double up on the Friday Hero this week, as I just came across this from The San Francisco Bicycle Messenger Association;

"SFBMA Statue Scrub-Down
As a new public service, SF bike messengers scrubbed down the Mechanics Statue last Wednesday. Snapping on latex gloves, they picked up cigarettes and debris, scrubbed away pigeon and other excrement, and generally de-stinkified an SF historical landmark and slug-spot. Passers-by did ask questions, even if they didn't particularly care to listen to the answers. Thanks to Liza for initiating this action and thanks to Peet's Coffee for water and cups. If there's interest, this statue cleaning will continue Wednesdays, 5.15-5.45 before messenger kickball at 6pm."

Thats pretty cool. If I had a dime for every time Ive sat in the shadow of that statue and snacked on a cheese bread from Specialty's Bakery, and a small cup of Peets coffee, Id be a rich, rich man. Or at least Id have enough money to buy a few dozen cheese breads and small coffees.

Everybody have a great weekend.
Sleep in, eat biscuits and gravy, tell someone you love that youre glad theyre there, and then get rad.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

This just in from 6'7";

"Hey bro, thanks for your support. Strange things cross
one's mind during sleepless nights. I'd like to share
one with you. Remember the good ole' days? when a TV
show didn't need a whole bunch of fancy computerized
special effects to cover up for a weak plot and
sub-standard acting? With the below offering I rest
my case;

Hope to be back on some wheels soon. Thanks again,
-6'7"
One things for certain, being trapped with Ruth Buzzi and Jim Nabors would be kinda like my own private hell.

Some recent developments in the story of 6'7"s injury are as follows;
Colinas father who is actually a Neuroradiologist, took a look at the X-rays and CT scans shot of our boys neck after last weeks crash and said that it is a rarity that he sees pictures such as those of an individual who isnt paralyzed.
He will be making his way to see some specialists in the Bay Area this coming week to get the skinny on what, if any surgery will be required to ensure his eventual return to the bike.
With every day that passes, we continue to find out how lucky we all were that night, most especially the big man himself. The recovery will be a long and slow one, and Im sure there will be days that he will be climbing the walls, and wishing that he would just get better, but when compared to the alternative, and the unbelievable odds he beat, slow recovery doesnt seem so bad.

We here at Swobo want to offer the most heartfelt high five to 6'7"s guardian angel, who has recently taken a much deserved vacation, and our continued best wishes to the new man of steel himself.

Yesterdays Wednesday ride was the usual unplanned chaos, and was dedicated in whole, to our fallen soldier. The feats of strength came back around with a bit of wrist rocket expertise. Ryan took the top honors, with Demonika coming in a close second, killing the hell out of a beer can perched atop a sign at 20 paces.

The second feat of the evening was the two person downhill.
Two people, one bike, two winners was the bill.

The rules were simple. No dabbing, and wherever the contestants ended up touching terra firma with any part of their bodies, was where their race ended. Upon completion of the run, teams would then stop, and stand by their mark until all entrants had finished the race.

Ryan and I crushed all comers, despite Tristans objections that his team actually won, but due to the fact that they had left their stopping point, there was no way to say with certainty that they had in fact emerged victorious.
However, what was certain was that Ryans shock groaned in agony under all 360 pounds of us, and has since passed on to the afterlife. Poor little shock. We hardly knew ye.

The best dressed leg of yesterdays competition went without question, to this guy.

The rest of us never stood a chance.

Michael sent photographic proof that he cant do a high speed hair pin turn on a fixie.

Probably wont be doing any high speed tooth brushing, high fiveing, or push-uping for a while ether..
Another one bites the dust.

Now then, for anyone whos broke, and/or living near Portland, this event is a must.

What do you suppose it feels like to be slapped across the face with $666.00?
Ill bet it would be the sweetest of stings.
Truth be told, if I had the cash, Id probably throw some of it towards new Swobo colors.
I had no idea sheep came in so many hues.

For those of you residing on the lower part of the left coast, lest you forget, the Bicycle Film Festival has its next stop in L.A.

Photo by Tod Seelie

During your travels on the Double u, double u, double u, have you come across Tim the Masi guy?
Hes a swell fella who has some pretty cool insights. Stop by and say hello.

Alright then. Im over, and Im out.
Lets be careful out there, ok?

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Ive got even fewer excuses for sucking than I did before.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 02:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Saturday offered ideal temperatures, and the promise of an epic road/off road adventure.

Shortly after the beginning of the first fire road climb, a yellow jacket stung me several times just behind the top of my head, and twice on the back of my left arm. The next 12 miles of climbing left me feeling as if I had a thumb tack stuck in the back of my head, and upon every exhale, it was as though my brain were attempting to escape from my skull. I suppose this means I still have a bit of an allergy.
After reaching the summit, we barged a long, rocky and dusty descent through the trees dropping us what seemed to an even lower elevation than where we began. We eventually hopped on a black ribbon of tarmac and continued until Hightower, Garen and I came across an ideal spot for a bit of trundeling.

As we gathered some suitable rocks, along came Mr. Rushy-rush who blasted past us in his gigantic Explorer, and as we removed the rocks from his path, he drove over Hightowers front wheel, exacting minimal damage. While we all laughed as he sped away, we discussed that it was a true testament to the quality of DT Swiss.
We let our barrage of granite fly, and bathed in the glow that only the most destructive of mini avalanches can provide.

We continued on to the eventual meeting spot- a small grocery store filled with sandwiches, and cold drinks which we decimated with ninja like efficiency.
Sadly, things were turning a bit south for me, and I ended the ride with a long road descent to the Benadryl. Waking up the next day, the feeling I was experiencing was not unlike that of being hit in the head with a hammer covered in itching powder.
Stupid bees are always causing trouble.

While scanning through back issues of Cars-R-Coffins this weekend, I came across this old Swobo ad. If this is the case, 'fast pitch softball style' is real damn slow.

I get occasional questions pertaining as to why we fly the flag for Hunter Cycles as we do. I will now break it down into three simple reasons.
1) The man can build the hell out of a fillet brazed steel frame that has never failed to make our hearts sing.
2) Hes emotionally unflappable. His moods only ever go from happy, to marginally grumpy, and back to happy.
3) Hes the only frame builder we know who can manage maintaining his business, hand our asses to us year after year, race after race, and who is tough enough to presently be handling The GDR.
Enough said.

And speaking of tough as nails frame builders, Coconino Cycles own Steve Garro sent this beauty on to us.

Seriously, the guy is a damn machine.

We also get alot of emails about who El Corpo is. Tim Parr, the fearless captain of this ship of miscreants is El Corpo. This became his moniker when someone who will remain nameless, spray painted that very title across his big fancy office chair in the old office. I did a little Google image search for Tim, through which I came up with a closeted skeleton.
I now present to you, from the Peteluma High graduating class of 1973, Mr. Timothy Parr.

Josh from Frances Cycles sent this to us.

"Hey there- never before, but now two in one week- there one heck of an alley cat coming up next weekend in beautiful Santa Cruz California, and here's the write-up:

THE SANTA CRUZ GRAND WILDCAT! -- June 23rd, 2007

Registration: 11am, $5-$10 (no one turned away for lack of $) START: 12 NOON SHARP!
WHERE? @ the Bicycle Church, downtown Santa Cruz – 703 pacific Ave. (south of Laurel ave. by one block)

This is a bicycle race with an arduous course and a community spirit. Riders should prepare themselves for the classic urban messenger style course that morphs into single track along the rail line, a dirt climb to roughly 1000 ft with some steep grades, idyllic fire roads through redwood forest, and a small taste of classic roadie riding in the lower SC mountains, and a dirt downhill finish.
The race will finish is on the beautiful scenic coastal terraces (exact location reserved ‘till race day) of the Santa Cruz mountains with a view of the ocean and miles of open land. There will be beer, live music, lots of food, and, of course, prizes awarded.

Prizes will include (not saying how they will be awarded): a custom bicycle frame and fork made by Frances (Frances Cycles), handmade bike tools, a campy belt buckle, bike schwag, and other items.

IF YOU ARE A BIKE COMPANY WISHING TO DONATE PRIZES;
IF YOU ARE COMING FROM OUT OF TOWN AND WANT TO KNOW ABOUT SLEEPING ACCOMMODATIONS,
OR, FOR ANYTHING ELSE. . .

CONTACT: WILDCAT@SANTACRUZHUB.ORG

See you all next weekend-"

Ive spent a bit of time in them thar hills, and Im reasonably sure there are no alleys anywhere. If you find yourself coming through the Central Coast, do this, and thank yourself later.

Speaking of the hills, at a recent Wednesday ride, one of the Ramones illegitimate brothers came and graced us with his presence.

Welcome to Rock and Roll high school. Class is in session.

San Diegos got some happenings happening in their burg.

This just in from Velo Culture Bike Shop;

"Sorry for rubbing this in to the peeps that couldn't make it.
Trackstand competition
75+ track skids (the sandy boardwalk is fuuuun!)
4 bike crashes (minor)
1 car crash
12+ high fives from motorists
51 riders?
20+ miles
horrible BBQ
and lotsa good beer at the after party in the shop."

Photos courtesy of Velo Culture shop wrench, Anthony Bareno.

Now then, anybody need some of these in their lives?
I know I damn well do.
Sadly I lost my set while escaping from the clutches of the Mafia during my last trip through Minneapolis. Hurl, You owe me $5,250.00.

And lastly, heres a picture of the t-shirt Im wearing.

I know how you feel little clown. I know how you feel.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

The Grumpy Girls ride photo saga continues.
Im only human. I dont know if Im laughing, or crying. Or crying from laughing... or maybe laughing from crying...

Anitra writes;

"Lame.
You can use my photos anytime.
Including the one of myself and B-Rose in a bunny suit.
I didn't take it, and it's not even from the grumpy girls ride, but it's on my camera, so there.

All the best,
Anitra"

Thank you Anitra, and lets let that be the end of all that unpleasantness.

This is completely stupid, and completely rad all at the same time. At 3:35, he crosses the tracks on Market Street. For those of you whove done it, you know how tricky it can sometimes be, and for those of you whove fallen victim to 'the cheese grater', you know how lame it always is.
Give that kid some new kicks. Now I think Im gonna go barf.

Ok, who wants to take a DC punk rock field trip?

And this from N@

"Saw this guy riding through Toulouse the other day...

Now watch it again... wait for it,
which way are his cranks turning?

N@"

Our minds are a little blown. Not totally like when we saw Doug Henning walk through a wall, but close.

Some fan mail came in today. They were very eager for us to have it, as they posted six times in six minutes.

"Your blog is fucking lame.

It looks like you have some sort of analog to digital converter for feces where you take a big shit on your keyboard and it translates it into a blog post."

-Very schmancy vocabulation from someone who types with their forehead.

Now then, this weeks Friday hero was a toss up between feces converter, and this guy.

This guy won simply because hes surviving one of the finer cases of Poison Oak weve seen, I dont know what an analog to digital converter is, and Im fairly certain Ive never pooed on my computer before, thereby making them a fibber.

The above video is not unlike how my boy Hawk and I greet one another, with the exception of that we dont do any of this. We just walk straight up and pop each other in the face. Its called the 'black eyed hiya'.

And from Stuart, lets hear it for fat, red haired Vikings.

"So. There's a shitty VH1 spinoff reality show (entering its second season) called 'I Love New York'.  To "spice things up" they have made it so that anyone can apply to enter, and be voted onto the show by visitors to the website.

Something awful(dot)com forum users (there's about 90000 of us) decided to get this guy voted on the show:

The Fireman

That's right, an overweight, pale, bearded, redheaded metal enthusiast construction worker with a penchant for vikings.

At the end of round 2 (the last round in which vote totals were published), he had over 20000 votes, making him the second most popular contestant (the guy with more votes was cheating hardcore).

VH1 tried to disqualify him, but the resulting uproar was so intense that they had to put him back in the running.

Thought this might make someone's day brighter."

As much as I hate to admit it, Ive watched a couple of episodes of the I love New York spin off, 'Charm School Girls'. Its not unlike watching a car crash. You dont want to watch the carnage, but you also kinda cant help it.
What did the initial producers meeting sound like?

-"Ok, were gonna get a bunch of total hood rats, and put em all in a big house together, and attempt to teach them how to act like actual human beings."

Pure gold.

And finally, some scoop from The Hunting;

"Hey!

So, silly kids from Marin Bikes needed a token pair of ovaries for the 24 hours of something or other. Guess who got picked for the team?
I won't bore you with the gory details (we took 3rd in the coed division, booh-yah!).

What was super rude, however, was this 72 year old dude who made an appearance on the podium.
Left hand: cane
Right hand: beer

Combined 5 member team age?
313 years.

That's the way to do it, AARP style.

Adios amigo,
m"

And now Ill wrap this up with a joke.
How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Hippies screw in sleeping bags.

Thank you- Ill be here all week.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 02:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Today is a rather somber Thursday, as last nights Wednesday night ride was met with an epic stroke of bad luck.

A small group of us met up for the usual story swapping, and casual lay-around-in-the-setting-sun goodness that a warm, early Summer Wednesday night ride offers. We kinda blew our wads last week with the epic season opener of the biathlon races. This week was gonna give us a chance to rest a bit. Nothing crazy, just some friends, some single track, maybe wrap things up at the pizza place, and get home early.
Things were going swimmingly until the man previously known as Burnedheart (and who will forever from this point forward be known as 6'7") had a front tire blowout on a hard packed, tree shrouded single track descent. Six Feet and seven inches tall is very tall, but with God as my witness, is a hell of alot taller when its traveling upside down at 20 miles an hour. 6'7" hit head first, and dug a mighty trench with the front of his helmet.
I was just behind him, and Bobby was just behind me. We stopped and watched helplessly as he writhed on the ground, gasping for air. Less than a minute later, he collected himself, and said that while he profoundly rang his bell, he was pretty sure he was alright. I fixed his flat, waited a bit longer to make sure, and continued on. At the bottom of the hill, I pleaded with him to go see a doctor, as head and/or neck injuries are nothing to ignore. Again, he said he was fine, and we re-assembled with the rest of the group, continuing on to get pizza.
Well word came down this morning that after a brutal night, he did in fact check himself into the hospital only to find out he had broken three vertebrae in his neck. A neurosurgeon had seen him and thankfully said that no injury to his spinal chord, or nerves had been incurred in the fall.

No doubt, the man is tough as nails, and Im positively thankful that he was wearing a helmet (a practice that he generally doesnt make a habit of) and that with some time, and a bit of therapy, is going to be fine.

As a result, Ive registered to get my first aid card again, and I urge you all to do the same.

Years ago, a friend of mine crashed while on a mountain bike ride, and broke his neck. Although he was paralyzed in the crash, the folks all riding with him were EMTs and were able to stabilize him until they could get proper medical attention.
Within six months of Joshes accident, a fellow riding with his kids suffered the same fate. His kids couldnt do anything, and the man suffocated and died. Its very easy to take your skills and those of your friends for granted, but you never know what might happen. Its one of those things where I now realize its much better to be safe than sorry.

Get better soon, buddy.

*Update* I just got off the phone with GenO, and he told me that last night on the Minneapolis Wednesday night ride, Greyboy went doooowwwnnnnn, and for his efforts, received a broken femur. These last 24 hours, the planets were definitely not in line.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Forever ago we mentioned that there was the Grumpy Girls ride out there in Minneapolis. After a bit of pleading on my part, Shawn, (remember, Shawns a girl) wrote us a short bit on it. Then she just emailed me and said Genos gonna be responsible for getting some photos.
Thats never going to happen, so I stole some from one of the ladies Flickr account who goes by the super secret code name of Dancypants. Were sure a law suit on her part is now pending.

(Sure enough, she emailed us and asked us to remove her photos.
Dont that beat all?)

"So the Grumpy Girlz were out cauz'in trouble this last Saturday. Yes the ride for the ladies who like to ride and drink. Many Gnome-bras attended. Not that we don't ride every day and drink every day anyway........ As usual we were drink'in beers and from any flask or water bottle. Anitra or Antrwa as the Nord East neighborhood kidz call her, was the co-president on organizing the dis-disorganization, and she makes a garbage bag and a winter cap look sexy.

( There was a photo here too but that was hers also.....Gonesville.)

I love trailers. I borrowed one and it was fabulous to rawk it throughout the whole day. I could get used to it. So, many nice people came out to ride. Come rain, come shine, come snow, or sleet you cannot keep us off the street. And best of all the ride was totally on paved trails and streets with bike lanes...a few detours because of maintenance, but we all made it to the bar, but if you ask me if you get lost and find a bar, you are all of a sudden not lost. I heart Dick's bar in Wilson Wi. Anyhow, we had mostly sunshine and then we were just a few miles from our final destination, the place where we can eat tator tots with cheese and get gluten free beer.................................and it rained. That is ok though because we quickly found shelter under a highway bridge like good buzzards and proceeded to drink every drop of alcohol before getting wet on the way to Grumpy's. Sorry, but the boys with their wet t-shirt contest didn't get me wet.........but it sho' was funny.

(There were two photos here. I had to get rid of them also.....The last 24 hours with her photos were amazing times that we will never, ever forget.)

I think a good time was had by all, including my Mom. Anyhow, there were a lot of drunk and wet girlz and boys on this ride and for the third year I think the boys get it; Wear what we say and do what we tell you to do. This of course does not pertain to our ride along cabana boy mechanic Mike. He is good at riding his bike, fixing bikes, drinking beer, and doing what he wants. So, that is what he did on this ride and it was beautiful. I wish you could have been there to warm us up at the end of the ride, but I guess as usual Jameson did his job.

luv and kisses, xxoo,

Hobo Girl"

Thank you Shawn. Its just another event on a long list that I would like to make it back for, although I wouldnt wish me in a wet t-shirt on my worst enemy.

Now Im gonna lay a tidbit of food for thought on you all.

I had a brief, and truly puzzling exchange with a young man at one of the Northern California Makita© Service Centers today when he asked me if 'bicycle' was spelled with a K...as in 'bicikle'.
True story.
He then told me he should have paid more attention in school before I had the chance to say it.

That made me remember two of the other dumbest things Ive ever heard a human being say.

-"visual dyslexia is when you see a stop sign, and you think that it says go"

And this ones a gem-

When I was in college, there was a professor explaining specific processes of the two halfs of the brain, and as an example he stated "it is as if you were to cover up your left eye, look at an apple, and know that it is an apple, but not what youre supposed to do with it, or conversely, if you were to cover up your right eye, and you look at an apple and know that youre supposed to eat it, but not what it was."

Just then a young woman raised her and and said, "so youre saying that if I were to cover up my right eye and looked at an apple, I wouldnt know what it was?"

At that point, I knew Id just met the future Mrs. Kinevil.

Still no report on the MASH SF premiere, but if you listen close, youll hear it coming on the wind.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Nothing about Glenn today. My hearts sort of heavy, a little less black, and substantially less evil because of it.
But we have to move on.

The MASH SF premiere came and went this weekend, and as was predicted, there was a huge turn out- but as luck would have it, while walking up to the theatre, I tripped on the curb out front and fell smack dab into the bar around the corner.
Graciously, El Corpo has agreed to write some words about the flick, as he and the lovely and talented Mrs. El Corpo happened across my band of idiots and me at said bar after the movie got out.
BUSTED! Anyhow, his scibblings will be up in a day or so. Keep em peeled.

Now a historical fun fact. Hitler wasnt accepted into art school and at one point thought hed try his hand in the rap game.

Now then, were gonna take it down a notch and get serious for a second while Nick lays a link on us about how doing good sometimes isnt so good nether.

"Not an article, but if you’re going to have a link promoting biodiesel can you have a link to this as balance? It’s a UN report on the impact of biofuels on the planet and especially on those societies already less privileged than us in the West. (Capital W? Do we *really* deserve it?) The report also warns of the impacts on nature: "Use of large-scale mono-cropping could lead to significant biodiversity loss, soil erosion and nutrient leaching.

 Anyways, not saying biofuel is bad, but it’s not necessarily all green either.

 All the news thats fit to print is right here.

 Remember kids, taking the bike instead of the car will always cut your CO2 footprint more than alternative fuels."

Like the kids say Nick, 'true dat.'
Im not going to lie to you though- I only got through some of it, but its compelling information to be sure and Im gonna go ahead and print it out so I can avoid the extension cord, computer in the bed fiasco again.

Now then, back to the regularly scheduled jackassery. Ive never taken acid before, but after watching this, I kinda think maybe I just did.

We got an email from this cat, Joshua. Hes been busy cranking out the love in his work shop, and was wondering if we could give him a prop or two. Josh, consider yourself propped.

"Hi there- I am (another) bicycle framebuilder on the Central Coast of California and a friend thought I ought share this flier with you- it is an attached PDF.  The website is still skeletal, but you can see there what I'm up to.  Still need to upload pictures of some longhauls I've built though..."

Many thanks

Joshua Muir
Frances Cycles
handbuilt bicycle framesets
www.francescycles (dot) com

I couldnt include the attachment because, and no offense intended to those with mental disabilities, but Im a retarded, and couldnt figure out how to attach the file, so heres a shot of him turning and burning in his shop.

Looks like I have to start saving my pennies again.

Ok, what else? Oh, I know- Ive made no secret of my affinity for mail. Like regular mail with stamps on it, and letters inside, or sometimes stickers, or buttons and the like.

Well upon returning home today I opened up my mail box and found an envelope full of love from the kids at Ghostship Clothing. As they mention on their page here, you can also find their goods at Pedal Power bike shop in Connecticut.
Get on it.

Lastly, heres a breath of fresh air from Ben in Minneapolis.

That really brings me back. Not because I was ever correct- just that I argued with my teachers alot.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 12:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Do you ever have one of those weeks where its like every day is your birthday, and kickass things keep happening, almost as if you won a kind of mini lottery?
This has been one of those weeks. I loved Rays story about oiling Danzigs gate, but what should I receive on the computer today but this picture. Agreed, its not a shot of him mowing his lawn, but its pretty bloody sweet.
Oh and if that wasnt great enough, Danny B. sent this on along with it.

Call me a simple man if you must, but Im in Heaven.

Now, seeing that today is Friday, and weve kinda been on a roll with this 'Friday Hero' thing, I think Im gonna go ahead and offer up another. Judging on the sheer number of emails Ive gotten about this today, I suspect our fair readership agrees with me.
Or I agree with our our readership.

Whatever.
Enjoy this weeks Friday hero.

Now then, this was sent on by Tina B. Theres a good chance its because I dont get out much, but I think its pretty cool.

Do any of 'yall remember Jeff? He was the friendly voice on the phone when you used to call Swobo way back along time ago. At some point in every conversation hed bring up the name 'Spooky Boo', and then would tell you that if you were going to New York for the weekend and you only had $200.00, that you most assuredly should spend it immediately on a pair of shoes, and then see how you fare the rest of your time there, just to see if youd do it.
Anyhow, since his departure from old Swobo, hes for the most part fallen off of the face of the earth. But then who should re-emerge from the blue, but Mr. Rennacker himself, as cryptic as ever.
He writes;

"Have to head for Vegas on Sunday. Yet a another wasted week spent walking past ringing bells in the early AM on the way to the trade show. Eyes blood shot, head in pain and pockets pulled inside out.

Although it's a different industry it still brings back memories of Inte-Bike..

You'll be happy to know this is where I'll be spending at least one ether filled evening on the company credit card!"

Since we nearly broke the Double Down at the Swobo closing party, perhaps this is where the party will happen this year. I for one, know my liver would thank me.

Long ago, when punk rock still meant something, a man named Dirk Dirksen changed the face of live music in San Francisco. Sadly, he passed away this past November, but his legend lives on and was celebrated with a series of live performances by bands who he helped bring to the forefront.

After requesting some sort of review or another, the ever cynical Scotty Turner has as of yet only offered this;

"A) They took my camera at the door last night at the show. Which ended up
being a good thing, because...
B) Punk rock reunions work a lot better in theory than in real life.

Scott"

What could I expect coming from a jaded fogie who saw the bands back before he needed a walker to help him navigate around the pit.

He also included some insight on the dopes commenting on the Folsom in a recent review on the Wired blog.

"Man, I hadn't even read the comments. Full on kook fest.
Hey get this, we live in a 'free society'. The bike is what it is. If you
don't like it, DON'T BUY IT. What a fucking novel idea...
Go get your Walmart piece of shit and ride it with both hands on the bars,
perfectly sober, while following all the laws of the road back to your
boring little life in front of your fucking computer where you all the
expert of all things because you can type."

Despite the fact that I have barely ever seen Scottys face from behind the chip on his shoulder, (right now hes saying something about the pot calling the kettle black), to that I offer a resounding 'amen'.

And finally, Ill jump on the bandwagon and announce the world premiere of MASH SF tomorrow night at the Victoria Theatre in San Francisco.

I suspect theres going to be an absolute crush of folks there to see it, so I may or may not be offering a review of the film next week, depending on how deftly I can squeeze into what will most definitely be standing room only accommodations.

Alright cats and kittens, we hope everyone has a safe and sane weekend.
You know, for the most part.

XO

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Just to be clear, we here at Swobo dont have a vendetta against Mr Danzig. In fact, I am of the opinion that their first album is a favorite in my collection but even still, that doesnt mean I dont think hes a complete goofball.
Anyhow, in response to my request for a photo of old Glenn mowing his lawn, Ray sent me what might possibly be one of the best emails Ive ever gotten. This is the kind of thing I really, really like. Really.

"Glenn Danzig lives in Los Feliz. If you really want to know I'll tell you.

One day I was riding my bike going to see a girl I was dating when some black Jag almost nailed me to a parked car. Needless to say I followed and watched the driver pull into a black gated house. The lawn was all over grown and the house seemed a little too... let's say contrived in it's creepiness. Anyhow I watch the dude get out of his car. Turns out Mr. Danzig has a thing for black Jags cause out walks fuck wad.
The next day I went by again and noticed some dudes working on the fence. I rode up and asked them if the fence was broken. They said 'no- its that the asshole that lives there wants the gate to creak when it opens.' I was like no fucking way, and they just shook their heads and laughed.
Anyhow later that night I went with a friend of mine down to the block where Glenn lives. He said he knew a girl across the street and that from her apartment we could inact a plan I had brewing in my head. So off we went with some beer in hand.
We waited for Glenn to leave. You could hear the gate creak... lame. So once the coast was clear I ran over, oil can in hand and re-oiled the gate. I think I used some bike lube to be honest... Pedros. Anyhow, I made my way back to the apartment, cracked open a cold one and watched as a crowd had formed in the apartment to watch our little improv revenge. So about 3 hours later Danzig returned, pulled up, hit click, rolled down his car window... in hopes of hearing his newly creaky gate only to have it open with a nice smooth silence. The fucker let out the biggest 'god dammit' I've ever heard. Needless to say we laughed our asses off."

Thank you, Ray.
This is gonna give me good dreams tonight.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 05:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)