Damn, has it been a year already?
I tried to get The Bummer Life fez hats done in time, (or rather, I whined a bunch to El Corpo about it) but alas, like the old saying goes, the best laid plans...um..something, something...

So instead of that (for now, anyway) heres a bunch of pictures of crappy birthday cakes. Except for the PBR cake. I rather like that one...
Happy one year birthday, Bummer Life. Heres to a whole bunch more.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 04:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Here it is kids. I asked for a report, and Victoria responded. Thank you Victoria.
Read em and weep. I did.

"The NACCC! Golly, what a NACCC! The North American Cycle Courier Championships wrapped up yesterday at the Hellyer Velodrome is San Jose, just south of the hub of the weekends activity in San Franfuckingcisco. The explosive bike messenger convergence has been capped for now, but the volatile gasses are still dissipating, hangovers still raging, and plenty of road rash is still oozing. Over three hundred racers and equally as many groupies descended on the city of fog and steep hills over the past four days. There was so much madness and debauchery, I can't claim to have witnessed even half of it; but here are some highlights of what I did see.

"The good: SF locals Kathleen and Mike blazed through the three hour main race--like it weren't no thang--to become the 2007 NACC Champions, both winning loads of schwag and tickets to the World Championships in Dublin. Two couriers from small town Santa Cruz, CA took the top places in the cargo race and probably should have offered to help the champs haul their winnings back home. A very cute girl on an orange Masi from somewhere east of the Mississippi turns out to be very, very fast; placed in the main race and won the sprint competition. People came out from all over the country and as far away as Japan and Australia. There was a rad playground with a cement slide right in the middle of the course and folks were using the leftover FedEx boxes to slide down it late Sunday. Apparently, the velodrome was a blast (there are lots of photos on Flickr). Sooooo much free beer all weekend long. And loads of beautiful, I mean stunning, mouth-watering bicycles: pristine NJS-stamped track bikes with matching accessories, beautiful vintage road  and 'cross bikes, a pretty Hunter single speed mountain bike and a handful of impressive cargo machines.

The Bad: A nice young man with a big smile took the DFL prize: a golden toilet seat and a BART ticket to Dublin, CA. About 300 people didn't qualify for the main race or win any side event but still had a blast. Despite at least 5 serious crashes on the race course and who knows how many late night-alcohol-related disasters on the way back home, no on went to the hospital. It was hot, there wasn't enough water, no one ate enough and even the straight edge vegan kids felt hung over.

The Ugly: Some kook from L.A. was belligerent literally all weekend long, being disrespectful of women and trying to start fights with  guys. A few good-natured drunks did the qualifier in the under pants, chones, and pink American Apparel butt-huggers, respectively. They got a lot of laughs and cheers, but it wasn't pretty. The aforementioned kook from L.A. participated in the skids naked; anyone have a spare stem pad? Some obnoxious guy was arrested at the velodrome yesterday. Very few people had a place to shower. We were just one stinky critical mass but the end. Which reminds me, a few assholes were hissing and booing as Critical Mass did ride by the opening party on Friday. No word on what they were thinking or why their mothers didn't teach them better. And as expected, it was a friggin' sausage festival; lady couriers outnumbered at  a rate of about 40 to one.

Well, that's all I remember anyway. Got to get me a shower, some vegetables, eight glasses of water and to confession. I'm sure there's plenty on youtube to keep ya'll amused until the formal results are posted.

&hearts
Victoria"

In regards to Kathleen taking first, its about time someone from The DFL stepped up and made a mark on the map for something other than being a complete derelict.
Speaking of which, among the responses I got to my request for a report on the event, Loudass offered this:

'Bee and I had a moderately obese woman show us her enormous breasts
while we were loitering outside the Parkside at 1:30 p.m. There are no
pictures. Except in my mind.'

Ok, next up from Dopers suck (dot) com.

'Pink is the new Black. They go great with any Giro d'Ialtia Leader's Jersey, especially the one from 2006 or a 1996 T-Mobile Team jersey.'

Now correct me if Im wrong, but if pink is the new black, then doesnt it stand to reason that Mr. Black Socks would now then be Mr. Pink Socks?

Is anyone here old enough to remember Mr. Black Socks?
Hell, I barely am.

Now some sadness and frustration in from Hurl.

The entire mindblowing saga is right here.

For crying the H-E-double toothpicks out loud. It would seem that bicycles are only to be recognized as vehicles until it doesnt suit the situation.
Stephen, if you happen to be reading this, you handled the situation with grace and dignity.
If I had only a fraction of your patience I would truly be a better man.

And finally, Im aware that there has been a glaring omission of Wednesday night ride reports.
This being due to my current physical disabilities.

The clouds are parting in that department, however, and the reports will begin flowing again next week.

I remain,

Broken. You know, for now anyway.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 03:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

There was a kid in my old neighborhood in Oakland who ran the block on his scraper, complete with homemade spinners.
Being that Da Trunk boiz are also from Oakland, this would only make sense.

Ok then, we hope everybody had a decent weekend. Weve got some goods on deck-

First up, clear your calendars cause as I previously mentioned, Brian Vernors newest effort 'We Just Work Here' is going to have its Northern California premiere at The Rio Theatre in Santa Cruz.
Possible scraper bike derby to follow.

Lets see.. what else do we have here?.. Ah yes, Pittsburgites should be aware of this.

Last year there were 'number of the beast' rides nation wide. This, as far as we know is the first of the 'neighbor of the beast' rides. Get on it.

And speaking of neighbor of the beast, Vice TV has not failed to impress again with their five part series on Norwegian Black Metal.
Its gonna take some time to get through this, but its a bit of a mind scrambler.

True Norwegian Black Metal part 1
True Norwegian Black Metal part 2
True Norwegian Black Metal part 3
True Norwegian Black Metal part 4
True Norwegian Black Metal part 5

Damn, and I thought growing up in a small town in Colorado screwed me up.

lastly Ill mention this. Swobo has got some new goods coming down the pipe for your personal adornment. New shirts, A hoodie, some furry handcuffs, muscle Ts and lots more. I dont know when specifically, but keep tuned. Its gonna be good.
Plus our Folsom got its first haiku review over at Pinch Flat News (dot) com. Everythings coming up roses.

Oh, wait, I got one

Skidding across streets.
Gleefully through piles of trash.
Bottle explosion.

You wouldnt know that was my first haiku, now would you?

As the lovely and talented Gabriel pointed out, the pile of tiny bikes in the last post wasnt owned by a gaggle of clowns. At least not the kind I mentioned.
Click on this for the full skinny.

Its true. Im a damn liar.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

You know, as far as Im concerned anyway..
Here Scot 'OM' Breithaupt takes a dip in his pool.

Tim Judge and Greg Grubbs.

Mike Dominguez and Harry Leary.

And heres another picture of Timmy Judge, just cause its rad. Note should be taken of Oakley honch, 'The Duke' on the sidelines in swim trunks, suspenders, and a silver wing on his left arm. Some folks say he was a visionary, while others say he was just crazy. I tend to kinda agree with both camps, however theres just no denying his fashion sense.

And whatever happened to 'Stompin' Stu Thompson? Rumor has it he moved to Minneapolis and opened a bottle of whisky.

And of course there were others- Bob Haro, Mike Buff, Greg Hill, Billy Griggs.. They all hold a special place in this hall of fame.. The rooms are small and without windows, and exists primarily inside of my head.

Now then, to celebrate the fact that in the last few months Ive lost more gloves then I have in my entire time on this planet, I present to you Denvers finest.

Heres a shot Sky sent to me from a recent recon trip to Portland. She said only seconds later a couple dozen clowns came pouring out of a tiny bar, unlocked, and mounted the bikes, and rode away without a word- the sound of a jack-in-the-box drifting into the air as they disappeared over the horizon.

Now then, The NACCC has come and gone, and due to varying degrees of cosmic B.S., I was only there in spirit.
Ive put out the plea to anyone in attendance to please lay some words and photos on us.
I know it will be difficult to achieve the same caliber of journalistic expertise I dish out day after day, but Im sure someone or another will come through.
We thank ye in advance.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 07:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

"This may be a bit non Bummer Life, but on my way back from my ride I saw the local cemetary and remembered why I don't have to go to work on monday

The world is fucked....I am only one beer in....It's a long weekend....WHY?

HTATBL is not a political sopbox....Nor a place to discuss the current shit ass situation our country finds itself in over seas....It is a place cyclists and non cyclists alike come to laugh their asses off.......Last weekend Dr. Kinevil reminded us all to stop and smell the roses. Most of us have a three day weekend starting.....NOW (in Colorado). Over the next 72, think about family and friends that have passed on, ride a little farther, and raise your glass a bit higher. I am about as cynical as it gets, but for the next few days I am going to try to reflect a bit on those who have gone before and they have helped shape me into the elitist prick I am today.....
Come Tuesday you can all fuck off,
CO"

And not to be trite, but Newt sent this on, and its just a pinch beyond awesome.

A big house, a bunch of ping pong balls, a big screen TV, a skateboard, a crap load of red cups, and an unrealistic amount of time on my hands. Its like everything Ive ever worked for, but have yet to achieve.

Now then- I guess the Bummer Life wouldnt be much of a bike related site if I didnt take the opportunity to mention the piece I heard on NPR yesterday morning on which they discussed Bjarne Riis's admission of doping. I recall standing at the bar in Bottom of the Hill in 1996 while The Tour was being televised. Kansas Citys Shiner was opening for one of my all time favorite bands, Tanner, who were about to take the stage. I watched the television screen as Riis won one of the mountain stages, and I noticed a pretty girl beside me glued to the monitor as well. Riis was a punisher, my beer was cold, and all was right with the world.
I cant say that Im surprised, but Id be lying if I said I wasnt dissapointed.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 03:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

But because if that, he rolled his ankle, tore some stuff, and now hes got this, and thats led our hero to the bummer life.
Where to draw the line when getting rad? Theres a question for the ages, as if one draws the line too soon, one never progresses, and if one draws the line too late, one hobbles around with purple feet, or broken wrists, or concussions or etc. Its a curious thing, this query is.

Anyhow, lest ye not forget, the North American Cycle Courier Championships is coming to San Francisco this weekend. The weathers going to be nice, the faces will be plenty, and the streets will be hot. Im working over time to ensure that I will be over the ailment that will remain un-described, so as to be one of the faces in attendance.
Suffice it to say, the lightening rod for grief that sometimes is my life has once again not failed to amuse, and dismay.

Lets see.. what else?
Invisible NYC has an opening reception for photographs by John Bush on May 31st which should be attended by any peeps who wanna rub elbows with some beautiful people.

148 Orchard Street will be the scene of the scene. Be there, or be that shape that rhymes with 'there'.

In Other news, fresh back from New York and the Bicycle Film Festival, Brian Vernor is having his West Coast premiere of the soon-to-be-smash hit, 'We Just Work Here' at the world famous Rio Theatre in picturesque Santa Cruz California on June 2nd.

BB guns will be presented to each attendee at the door, baring any impending legal snafus.

And finally we present to you a picture of a little girl eating a gigantic spider.

Dont say we never gave you nothin.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 02:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Wow…and we thought we were fucked when a kid spelled “Sis Teen Chapel”

CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN FAMOUS PEOPLE AS IMAGINED BY SOMEONE WITH AN
AMERICAN PUBLIC-SCHOOL EDUCATION WHO DIDN'T PAY TOO MUCH ATTENTION IN SCHOOL BUT WHO DID JUST ENOUGH TO PASS THE EXAMS.

BY MATT PASSET

- - - -

Richard Nixon and Winston Churchill

NIXON: Hello, I see you're smoking a cigar and wearing a large hat.

CHURCHILL: So I am, young chap. Could I interest you in a cigar?

NIXON: Sure, I think I smoke cigars ... maybe ... I don't know.

(CHURCHILL hands a cigar to NIXON, who bites off the tip and lights it.)

NIXON: We were probably alive at the same time.

CHURCHILL: Indeed, my boy, indeed. I had something to do with World War II and I think maybe you fought in it.

NIXON: I'm not sure if I did.

CHURCHILL: There's not that much more about me that everyone knows.

NIXON: I once held up my hands and formed two peace signs. I was either about to get onto a plane or get off of one.

CHURCHILL: I have seen the photo, because I think there were cameras when I was alive.

NIXON: And what about Watergate? I did that.

CHURCHILL: Margaret Thatcher is someone else from England. She was leader after me.

NIXON: People can buy masks of my face.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

J.D. Salinger and Christopher Columbus

COLUMBUS: I discovered America.

SALINGER: You're a phony, everything's phony.

COLUMBUS: I sailed on three ships called the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. I don't think I had anything to do with the Mayflower. That was before me.

SALINGER: Everything is phony.

COLUMBUS: It was 1492 when I found America. That year is definitely correct.

SALINGER: Were there Indians here when you got here?

COLUMBUS: Yes. I discovered them, too. I don't think I had Thanksgiving with them, though. Those were Pilgrims. Maybe I was a Pilgrim, but probably not.

SALINGER: I wrote one book and nobody ever saw me again.

COLUMBUS: There were no books when I was alive.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Abraham Lincoln and Hitler

HITLER: Kill the Jews

ABE: Free the slaves.

HITLER: Kill everyone, especially the Jews. Nazis are the best.

ABE: Emancipation Proclamation.

HITLER: Mein Kampf.

ABE: Four score and seven years ago.

HITLER: Kill all Jews!

ABE: I was shot in the head at a play, because the Civil War made people from the South angry.

HITLER: I created Nazis.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ok, there you have it folks. Pretty much everything you need to know about everything. Except for stuff about the recent Bicycle Film Fest, which you can find here.

Like 'Diamond' David Lee Roth says, "CLASS DIS-MISSED!"

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 04:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Thanks Gene, and goodnight, sweet prince.

Now then, Codys 'swelling' and 'rash' have subsided and hes come back swinging.

"Dirtbags,
Hope this note finds you all well and somewhere where it is not shitting snow (not Colorado). Great weekend for cycling here in the Roaring Fork Valley, “Ride Your Bike to School Day” on Friday (skids, bunny hops, and crashes aplenty), about 400 groms partook and a slew of local rippers came out to help. The coolest thing about the event was, in talking to the kids, most of them rode to school anyway….Saturday was the annual "Ride for the Pass”, a fundraiser for reforestation/trail maintenance on the Independence pass road. One of the most killer rides around, a monster climb up to the Continental Divide, followed by a par-tay back in Aspen later in the afternoon. I will be the first to say this town attracts some of the more smarmy clientele around, but the local scene is super cool and this event is a great example of community getting together for a good cause.

The highlight of the day (for me) was the preachy, pseudo hippy collective who “poached” the ride. Eager to check the scene and talk to their ass clown buddies, but too cheap to pony up the $40 bones for a cause they (supposedly) embrace. Your typical ride a “townie” to the bar and drink PBR, but drive to the trailhead munching on Gorp crew of dipshits. They seem to be quite prevalent these-a-days. Stickin’ it to the man with bumper stickered Pathfinders (Free Tibet….even though I don’t know where it is, anti-something,….I’m totally uninformed about,…..favorite jamband,….which surely sucks) Et Al. Soapbox slumming in the most expensive town in the country…..Kind Veggie Burrito?....Grilled Cheese?…..Nugs?

Shake it off,

CO"

Where the hell the black lunged bird fits into the story, were still not sure.

Moving on. Everybody remember the saga of Weng Weng?
Well, Tina Bs come through in a big way (no pun intended) and actually found a copy of the movie.
There is a movie night in the works that will rival the first premiere of Star Wars.

Ill bring the tiny boxes of tiny pop corn.

Now more news of the dames at the games in from Marian.

"Yeah, there's women out there who read HTATBL. I'm one of 'em.

Perhaps you did not know this, but the Kern County women's stage race was the weekend and you were asking about the ladies, right?

Couple of gems:
1) Stella, who won the silver tiara at dinner Friday night, and was sent over the edge by a glass of wine, was getting friendly with the locals in Bakersfield. At a stoplight on the way back to the hotel from dinner, she waves to the rest of the team rolling on behind us in the lead car. The locals in the car stopped to our right gives the "What the hell are you all smoking?" look. Stella waves back. They point to her tiara. She points to their head. They laugh. See the picture."

2) Stella: "Nice sticker"
Me: "thanks. It's a drunkingham special."
Stella: "But he's not a vegan."
Me: "I wouldn't think so."
Stella: "And he's not a virgin."
Me: "Probably not."
Stella: "..."
Me: "Maybe two negatives make a positive?"
Laughter ensues.

And the sticker had a good showing at Kern, so congrats.

Good luck with that,
m

Another video from headquarters. This entire sequence could very well have been shot at the last Swobo party. Except there were fewer bikinis.

What else have we got? Ummmmm.. Nothin.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Critical Mass has really been getting out of hand lately. CO sent this picture of his car in from last months C.M in Aspen. He writes;

"I was driving along and suddenly I was being swarmed by cyclists. I told them that I too was a cyclist, but I had to drive to the doctor on account of some 'swelling' and 'a bit of a rash' I was experiencing, and at that moment, the crowd went crazy, resulting in this.
It was cool though. I crossed paths with some of them at the drum circle later that night, and they told me it was all a big misunderstanding."

Way to live and let live, Cody.

On to other news. Scientists working on the Quinghai-Tibet Plateau found a perfectly preserved Pacman skull today. This throws a whole new monkey wrench into the intelligent design theory.

Heres a few tiny photos by Scott Paws of what was, continuing to be.

Next up, this guy is a grump, is hairy, likes bikes, collects records, and if I didnt know better, was me. Plus his blog is named after a Germs song. How could you possibly go wrong?
– Press this little arrow and get a blast from the past.

I may be mistaken, but I think I just heard Darby Crash turn over in his grave.

Ok, continuing on. Aside from the Swoblogging duties El Corpo has saddled me with, I am also partially responsible for bike testing. Today found me sucessfully drifting at high speed into piles of garbage on the Otis, and I can say with the utmost confidence that this bike has cut the mustard, as it were, in that department.
Trash heaps will forever quake in fear at the sight of the Otis.

And oh hell- I almost forgot. Our friend Zito who as previously reported was involved in a brutal hit and run, is having a fund raiser out there in Minneapolis.
If you are within a country mile, we urge you to get to this. Its for a good cause, and there will most assuredly be hijinx abounding. And really- who dont like abounding hijinx?

What say you?
Yeah.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Swobo. Enhancing street signs for over 300 years.

Posted by at 06:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Ever wondered what Buck's Package looks like ?

Note: This entry is not for the faint of heart.

Posted by at 06:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Take a deep breath. Remind someone that you appreciate their existence. Stop what youre doing and take a look around. Write a letter to a teacher who changed your life. Call your parents. Embrace the pain of the climb. Do something nice for yourself. Hold the door open for someone. Take a bath. Reminisce with old friends. Carry a disposable camera with you and start a photo album. Make a pen pal. Exhale.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 07:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

"I'm not the "linking to pop culture junk" kind of web site. You've got your bingbong.coms and your frikkenawesome.coms for that. But every now and again something comes along that is so amazingly compelling that it demands to be linked from every web site in the universe. I am quite serious when I say I would be totally happy if this video was the World Wide Web's grand finale, and then the Internet just went dark and we all went back to making candles and reading the bible and stuff:"

"The final message in the video's end credits says it best. It reads, simply, "Choreographed by all of us." Those very words should be on the Internet's tombstone. I got explicit reasons why."

All of the above was found here.
Continued thanks to Tina B for always supplying us with the most incredible samplings.

(Editors note- The video has been removed, although the link to the site is still here. The site from which the video was originally pulled is very funny, and the insights contained there in are right up our ally. The comments that have been included on the Youtube page however, are samplings of the lowest form of humanity, and just generally brought us down.)

That may be my most favorite thing Ive ever seen, simply because I appreciate the absurdity, as well as the amount of focus and sheer determination those guys put into it. They were obviously all very serious about it, so its irrelevant whether or not every time I watch it Im absolutely peeing my pants in hysterics.
Perspective is a funny thing. Not funny like accosting and ottoman, but funny none the less.

Anyhow, on to other, far less dry-humpable items.
I called and some ladies responded. Ifin you find yourself in Minneapolis, and with two X chromosomes, get a load of this action.

Shawn writes: (Shawns a girl, dontchaknow.)

"Hey our ladies ride is coming up yet again. We have a lotta free beer, redbull, and vitamin water to drink and guys can attend if they wear a wife beater. So, if anyone will be in mpls on June 2nd come on and join us. We are circling the Buzzard Loop between Nord East and the downtown Grumpy’s. It’s not a race or a scavenger hunt. It is just a ride. We only race when we are in a hurry and we ain’t in a hurry. We are just minding our own beeswax and hiding our booze from my co-workers if they come around. Because if they confiscate anything they just drink it or eat it and that is what we wanna be do’in with it. I don’t want to have a repeat of snowballs and have to calm them down and get us all outta trouble. Oh, and we have a cabana boy this year. He will be supplied with everything to fix any bike issues, he may or may not hit on you too.

Just be at One on One by noon, 117 Washington."

Lets see, what else do we have here?...
Oh yeah, Cary, (Carys a boy. Pay attention.) sent us a picture of his new head badge made my the lovely and undeniably skilled hands of Ms. Jen Green.

685 couldnt be prouder.

She in fact made this little number for me just last year.

Anybody wanna dance?

Well, another week has come and gone like so many transcontinental bus trips. This weekends up for grabs for anyone brazen enough to take it.
I suspect that would be all of you.
Giddeyup.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

We showed up in force this week, with some new faces, as well as some old.
Nobody was afraid.
Especially not the Furryknuckle who defiantly took on his own feat of strength and placed a quarter into one nostril.

(Editors note- Furryknuckle would like it pointed out that he did in fact insert two quarters in his nostrils simultaneously. It was just that one fell out by the time the accompany photo was shot.)

Lupe' is a grandpa who can most likely ride a one speed better than yours can. He tends to laugh at everything, and just generally has an incredibly endearing demeanor, except for when hes knocking you off of your bike on a poison oak strewn descent.

Sometimes Becker contemplates life over a bottle of Makers. The first official feat of strength this week was the 'no pedal downhill' in which the participants took to a fine rolling descent with all of the log crossings, and varying other obstacles thrown in for good measure. Due to the previously mentioned Makers contemplation, Becker got in my way, allowing Hightower to take top honors in that particular event this week.
Sadly, there is no photographic evidence to support this claim, so here instead is a picture of a guy carrying a car on a bicycle.

He came back swinging though, and won the curb ride, in which he rode the spine for an astonishing distance of what? 55,65 feet?
Im only guessing, but Id figure the previous record was decimated by nearly 30 feet, plus he rode the corner. Yeah, I guess you could call that kid a Cracker Jack.

On to other matters,
I quite enjoy the Pinch Flat News

and this video makes my world go round.. They go to Shireingburg, and Thrushisville, but you never hear them mention Drunkingham...
Its nice this time of year.

Oh yeah, and check out this nonsense. Cars are good, bikes are bad, mmmmkaayyy?

The following is to be classified under rad.

And our own El Corpo, quoted in the The New York Times?
Fuggetaboutit.
Yeah, thats rad too.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 12:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Dammit, Janet. This guy has gotta play the lottery NOW. Like, right this second...

And Im gonna throw this in here just cause its sweet.

So riddle me this. While we can gauge with some accuracy how many folks visit our home away from home away from home here on The Bummer Life, we really dont know who you are.

The question is.. are there many women who read this thing? If so, are there any women who want to participate? I love all the knuckle dragger comments and random macho postings as much as the next guy, and seeing as I myself drag my knuckles with the precision of a rocket surgeon, why wouldnt I?

But come on. Ye of the fairer sex, give us the haps on whats happening in your world. Are you out there?
Weve seen you, give us a shout.

Here are the Evil Pixie, and Lynn Breedlove. Two extraordinary women, both far tougher than I could ever hope to be.

Theyre not the only ones out there, are they?

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 12:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

First up, our good pal, and maker of divine creations, Rick Hunter and his better half Maryanne have been working tirelessly, and aside from receiving alot of press as of late, have gotten a new website cooking.

Please do yourself a favor and spend some time in the cyber compound they have just re-launched. Its going to be tweaked here and there for a while, so dont forget to check back periodically.
You can also find out everything else there is to know about them here.
Thanks to Vernor for the use of the photo of Rick, and thanks to Rick for the use of his prized possession, an autographed picture of Richard Moll.

And now.... one for the ladies...

Im sorry about that.

Anyhow, speaking of the Hunters, lookit what Boozley just got for his 40th.

It just goes to prove that if you ride the same broke down piece of crap year after year, your friends will eventually take pity on you and get you a new bike...

Ok, back to business. The following is the kinds of email I receive from Headquarters..

Sometimes its requests to remove Mr. T or Dans man-ass from the header, sometimes its questions regarding price point breakdowns and domestic production unit variables, or sometimes its the saga of Weng Weng in video form.
That, my friends, is how the corporate world really works.

On my way home this evening, a woman in a car passed me, and then immediately sideswiped me on her way into a parking lot to pick up her child from daycare. Church daycare, no less. Anyhow, I turned back into the lot and asked her if she ever looks out those windows that Im pretty sure came standard on her car. She sheepishly admitted that she saw me, but then, and Im assuming this here, inserted her head back into her ass, severely limiting her view of the road. I mentioned that I was, just as Im sure she was as well, simply trying to get home from work without being maimed. She again apologized. I continued on, but as I was just 20 feet from her, she screamed at me to pull up my pants.

The crazy was flowing freely in home girls car tonight.

And as long as were sort of on the subject of urban cycling, the appropriately named Urban Cyclist is a new rag thats put out by a certain Brad, and Jeff. For those who want pulp issues, they have a small number of those available as well.

Heres a piece that should come as no surprise.

Oh yeah, and the previously mentioned QUI has signed to Touch and Go records. Expect to have your hair blown off.
And while were on the subject of hair being blown off, heres another...
Black Fire Revelation

As they say, they sound like this.

Both bands are good to listen to while you drive to Uncle Jesse house.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Call us simpletons if you must, but the way we see things, the mystery of life really aint so complicated...

One leads to another, which again traces us back to the first.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 12:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

My lord, whodathunk so much was happening in Los Angeles?
Get over here for even more goodies, and to check out The Wolfpack.
Here we are extending a giant outstretched hug to our friends to the South. Keep up the fine work folks.

Hell, if Charles Manson, and Cedric from The Mars Volta can join the fun, I suspect everyones invited.

And as long as were on the subject of riding bikes, why not say 'screw you' to The Man this up coming bike to work week, and join in on the 'Drive Your Bike To Work Day' festivities?

Ill wave out my window as we pass one another.

This reminds me of more then a few occasions while messengering, of getting caught in the havoc of Critical Mass, and having car doors opened on me by folks driving their bikes to the event.
In fact a former co-worker used to tell me a story of a woman who once asked her where a good place to park for Critical Mass was.
I believe shes responded with 'at your house'.

Although based on this photo that homie Geo sent on, I believe Dick would be inclined to disagree.

I know- crappy segue, but as it was pointed out to me today, these posts are generally riddled with mistakes, and stuff that just generally makes no sense. I resemble that remark.

Oh, and speaking of which, heres one from Pilderwasser (dot) com.

Im gonna have to say 'all of the above'. You can never go wrong with 'all of the above'.

Also, Loudass, who recently made partner at the law firm for which he works, (I know, we cant believe it ether) sent this set on to us. I smell the pot smoke from here.

Now then, David Richardson sent an email today thanking us for reminding him to get rad.
I wrote him back and told him he has the name of a doctor.
Dr. David Richardson. I trust a man with a name like that to inject me with something or to tell me to turn my head and cough.
Anyhow, along with his thanks, he also sent us this photo of Pistol Pete Loncarevich, letting us know that he NEVER forgot to get rad.

Dr. David Richardson also included this video highlight of Pistol Pete Maravich, which reminded me I have to call my parents and scorn them for not naming me Pistol Pete SOMETHING-vich, forever sealing my fate in the upper echelon of mediocrity.

Red Kev is a motorcycle messenger in Seattle, and our first 'Friday hero'. Looking good, Kevin.

Ok, its Friday today. Its like the working persons last day of school, followed by a whole two day long summer vacation.
What a total rip off.

Five days on and two days off is for suckers, and here I am, as big a sucker as they come. Im gonna party my damn face off this weekend. On bikes, off bikes, and in every nook and cranny I can find.
Might I suggest you do the same.

Think of Dr. J and rock out with your socks up.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 02:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Recently I was involved in a debate I was sure I was able to win. The artist formerly known as Retodded claimed the Skyhook was the signature move of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, while I was positive it was that of the baddest of the asses, Dr. Julius Irving. (and yes, I know the depiction is not a sky hook. It is, however, a picture suitable to be hung above a diningroom table, or perhaps in a church, hence its inclusion in this story.)

My (completely uneducated) stance was that it couldnt have been Kareem as Dr. Js career predated the former by what I thought must have been a decade.

I have never been so incorrect.

Perhaps Ill just stick to endless blather about what a punisher Tchmil was.

On that front, I will never not be not right..

On the business side of things, a little bird has told me that the Swobo Sanchez will soon be available as a frame and fork, so all of those who have been sitting on your Campy Record trackhubed wheelsets and white Flite saddles will soon have a frame in which to hang your art.
Its like a battering ram rollin on chrome.

Thats all weve got for now.
Oh yeah..dont forget to get rad.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 02:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

God grabbed me by the ankles and slapped me against the ground like a damn beanbag.
Getting Poison Oak on your junk is no way to go though life.

We saw a clown on one of those electric motorcycles heading into the trails, and gave him whatfor.

His ill-attempt at logic fell on deaf ears.
...No use for those things at all.
Jackass.

Oh, but would you just look at this.....

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I am listening to the talk
of the town by the Pretenders as I heard in 7th grade
nothing was better or more frightening more punk or sexier
than Chrissie Hynde's New York leather velvet voice saying
you arrived like a day and passed like a cloud
I made a wish I said it out loud everybody heard in my dad's car
as he drove me to school where I waited for roller skating weekends
to hope to hold hands with girls I was in love with and also hoped
to not get stink bombed by Alonzo who later in high school sold us coke but I never
got stink bombed and the girl I made out with hid from me
and the revolving disco lights portrayed the walls in shadow bits
and squares of Captain 20's disco light escalading the ceiling did I know
those words--I didn't know anything but expected
longing fulfilled by increased longing and unlacing of skates?
I loved this song
it was the best one on the radio from the Times Square soundtrack I never saw
that movie but one time it was playing at the county fair I went to
with my fat friend Matt and I heard it blaring from the boom box
of a chick with feathered brown hair by some concession
and I looked up and turned and she looked at me
tracking me through the stalls so I looked down
and she seemed so much older than me
and I wanted her too

Posted by Machine Wilkins at 08:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)