Hightower and I started this years Wednesday night ride series off in style. Just the two of us, cause everybody else was afraid. See, Im tired of planning races. Why race? Thats dumb. Thats right- racings dumb. Go find another pissing match, champ.
A few folks werent keen on that idea, but they can plan their own races. This years theme is 'feats of strength'. Another idea I stole from The Mafia.

The first feat of strength was to attempt to ride the entire length of a verrrry long red painted curb behind the Bell/ Gyro office. Hightower won, I lost. Id never survive the North Shore.
Next stop, beer store.
Then off to the designated meeting spot, but first, a single track adventure. Hightower on his cross bike, and me on my one speed. Off like shots we darted through winding loamy single track, backpacks full of amber refreshment and snacks secured over our shoulders.

The second feat of strength was bike wheel bowling.
Everybody took a shot, DanO won by smashing one can. Everybody else lost. We all suck.
Cry babies began singing their song of 'I wanna ride. I wanna race, this is dumb.'
They were all invited to beat it, which they did.

The third feat of strength was the one handed hill climb, in which the participant, opens a can of beer, and rides the bike of their choice up a rather rutted, and rock strewn section of trail.
Colina crashed immediately.
Highlander won the geared category, and Retodded and I tied in the single speed category. The fourth and final feat was to navigate that same section of trail only in reverse, again, with one hand. The winner of that one remains kinda fuzzy.

We all retreated to the confines of the bar, but not before maching down the treachery known as 'Fence Line', in the dark, drunk, and as fast as any of us have ever ridden it before. At one point, after getting bucked riding trough a mud hole, which resulted in me blasting through an unintentional 25 mile an hour nose wheelie, I thought to myself, 'this is how people get paralyzed.'

We eventually arrived at the bar, threw some darts, that would make the pros green with envy, one of which I stuck in Fajas back, and we all melted into the night.
Same time next week, and every one after. If you know, youll go.