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Photo by Captain Dave
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| December 2006 »
here's my story. it needs to be shared with the world.
so, my jacket arrived yesterday and i haven't taken it off yet.
literally. i slept in it. and i don't ever plan on taking it off.
the trial. i put it on and walked around the hood.
mr johnson, my neighbor, a pg & e in his 40s was the first guy who saw it.
"my, looks like you've lost some weight, guy." he called me "guy" i couldn't believe it.
we were off to a good start.
next neighbor, jason and his wife kerry said, "hey nice wax coat, is it australian?"
"no, it's swobo," I replied. bam! two down, several more to go.
so this other guy who I don't know, but looks like a pirate didn't say anything.. he just sort
of grunted, which is the most I've ever heard him say. I think that was his way of complimenting
my new look. sweeeet. feeling good at this point.
ok, now the real test.. there's this group of hot young college girls, all dressed in school girl clothes, leg warmers and all,
standing around in the cold. they always seem to be in the same spot. I'm intimidated by their sexual prowess, but i've
had countless rub outs to them, so I feel like were all close. they take one look at me and then the magic moment, and this is where
my new jacket comes in to play.. The hot one checks me out and says, "hey, you got a light ?" now i own.
I love my cottonwood. i really do. can't even remember what it was like to wear my old levi's jacket.
now i just need to go find some trees to cut down or a fishing ship to charter and i will be complete.
sorted,
z
Click HERE for more info.
Where's the guy with the bunny suit?
Clearly, Denmark rules...
So you see, there was a video here that planly defined why everyone in the world should move to Denmark, but the damn thing would start up all on its own, regardless of where you were on the site. I removed it from here.
Dont worry though. Its found a safe home under the video listing on the sidebar over there to the left of your computer monitor.
Anyhow, Im gonna go pack my bags now.
DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A homeowners' association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti-Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.
Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs.
He said some residents believed the wreath was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.
"Somebody could put up signs that say drop bombs on Iraq. If you let one go up you have to let them all go up," he said in a telephone interview Sunday.
Lisa Jensen said she wasn't thinking of the war when she hung the wreath. She said, "Peace is way bigger than not being at war. This is a spiritual thing."
Jensen, a past association president, calculates the fines will cost her about $1,000, and doubts they will be able to make her pay. But she said she's not going to take it down until after Christmas.
"Now that it has come to this I feel I can't get bullied," she said. "What if they don't like my Santa Claus?"
The association in this 200-home subdivision 270 miles southwest of Denver has sent a letter to her saying that residents were offended by the sign and the board "will not allow signs, flags etc. that can be considered divisive."
The subdivision's rules say no signs, billboards or advertising are permitted without the consent of the architectural control committee.
Kearns ordered the committee to require Jensen to remove the wreath, but members refused after concluding that it was merely a seasonal symbol that didn't say anything.
Kearns fired all five committee members.
Ferrentino penned an article a few years ago on this very subject. The bike racer formerly known as Mansuer and I went back and forth for months. Hed ride 15 days, and then bail. Id ride 16 days and then bail. Back and forth it went, neither of us ever made it all they way for the full month.
Then, I think it was last year, I finally made it 30 days straight.
The rules are simple. You have to spend, at the very least, an hour on your bike. Not an hour doing errands, but an hour kitted up, actually going on a ride. In reality, it sounds easier than it is.
Finding the time, energy and the discipline each day to get on my bike for at least an hour, (which generally melts into two or three), with a full time job, plus the equivalent of two part time jobs is pretty daunting. When I finished with my first and only 30 in a row, I emailed Mike to tell him, to which he responded, "The most time Ive been able to spend on my bike is on the rollers watching porn, doing intervals each time they change positions."
Which kind of brings me to my point. In order to keep up on my new 30 in 30 regiment, of which Im now all of four days deep, I had to ride rollers for an hour tonight. No porn, no position changing, no nothing. All I had for entertainment was my bobbing shadow, and the growing puddle of sweat on the cement floor.
This is going to be a long 26 days.
Adbusters Video
In honoring of this relaxation of consumerism, we ask that you buy nothing from us on November 24th. Instead, go ride your bike, go fly fishing, bake some lady fingers, or hell.....just go build a Yurt somewhere.
Let us know how you spent nothing.
Man Dukes are coming back strong. Check out Paul's site and keep the dream alive.
Thanksgiving is right around the proverbial corner. This by far is my favorite holiday and Id like to take the opportunity to tell you all to take the opportunity to take stock in your lives. I like gorging on food and all of that, but what I most appreciate is that there is a day simply for taking some time to acknowledge whats good about your existence.
It might be something small like being thankful that your pants didnt fall down in public again today to something substantially larger like being thankful that your friend triumphantly beat breast cancer. Both of which are true in my case.
Better yet, try to have a little bit of Thanksgiving every day of the year. When youre done doing what youre doing right now, go tell your friend that youre glad they exist. Get on your bike, and acknowledge the fact that you have the ability to do just that, go to the woods, and breath deeply, or take a nap with your fuzzy buddy...just take a second everyday and remember that despite the fact that things can get pretty crappy sometimes, youve got some blessings too, and maybe you should count them.
Maybe all of you are fully aware of these things. Perhaps Im the only one who needs a reminder, and thats what this post is about. Im slapping my own face with the obvious.
If I cant get my act together to post again before the impending food coma sets in, I hope you all have a great next few days, and for what its worth, besides all of the other things in my life that I appreciate, I appreciate you all too.
Stevil
 
I was reading an article recently that said if every single person who rode a bike on Mount Tam annually did just one hour of trail work, they would have something like 900,000 hours of trail work done there a year. Im no mathematician, but I think thats in the ball park.
It seems logical to me that if for every 20 hours of off road riding one does, they contributed just one hour of work, there would be far fewer environmental issues occurring on the trails. I.E. erosion, mud bogs, creating the re-routing of trails and so on.
So thats what we did yesterday. Joefish, Hightower, Willie, Demonika, Mrs. Hunter and I loaded up our work gloves and some tools and got to work. Since the winters begun, there are already a bunch of trees down, and some trails are falling off of the hillside, so we preceded to fix a few things. None of us are environmental engineers, so once work began, we treaded lightly so as to not make anything worse, but the obviously problematic issues like clearing fallen trees, and laying foundations of dozens of arm-thick logs across mud bogs (or simply re-routing the water, for that matter) is a no brainer.
Just think, with only a day a month or so, you could give back to the sport that has taken so much from you.
Hell, while youre at it, why not join IMBA?
They always like making new friends.
 Oh, and while were on the subject, this here Makita cordless chainsaws only $189.00. You know, Christmas is right around the corner. If you got it for me, it would save young Hightower all of that work with my handsaw...
As I mentioned previously, on Saturday weve got this here alley cat race happening where you can help feed the less fortunate. I dont know why everybodies out racing cats in the alleys, but the kids are going bananas for it..
Or if youve got a bunch of cash burning a hole in your pocket, you can go to the Veloswap and get a rocking deal on some barely used bar tape.
Then on Sunday weve got the Bay Area Super Prestige cross race in Golden Gate Park. Get your screaming muscles a-workin, and your 20s broken into singles, cause youre gonna need em.
Go raise some cain. If youre lucky, you might even get to meet this lady..
And I quote (taken directly from a ran(dumb) cyclo-cross forum)
'I can remember one of the final races last year, where some guy was so drunk, and he was heckling the racers who were back in the field as they went by. Well my husband was going to punch him a few times just to teach him a lesson and make him shut up. He was so drunk and acting stupid and ruining it for the people trying their best. Yes this is what alcohol leads to, and I had to hold my husband back so he didnt fight this fool on the side of the course who was so drunk and stupid. It ruined the great race that was going on, all because this guy was so waisted.'
...She forgot to mention that he was acting drunk and stupid.
God bless the American educational system.
  Lets see if our boy Wells can kill it again this year.
I be lovin me some Todd Wells.
Not that he needs any introduction, but Swobos ace homie, Jonny from Drunkcyclist.com is still on the mend after getting creamed by a car just a little while ago. Well, as you can imagine, the dough is running a bit tight for him. Not only that, but hes resorted to raiding grandpas sweater collection to keep warm. Why dont you be a pal and stop by to pick up some threads? You can keep the sun off of your back while proclaiming to the world that you are indeed a true blue dirt bag. See? Its a win-win situation.
Heres another alley cat for food stuffs in our very own back yard.
Yeah, like Captain Stubbing said in his last post, somebodys gonna write a blurb, and shoot some pics of these things, right?
Jason just sent this in...
If you find yourself wandering the streets of KCMO....go participate. You'll be happier about you, your life, and plus Jason will be proud. Give us an update once you complete your KC mission....
Here is a poster that I designed for a Swobo street art campaign. Please let me know what you think of my design. Any suggestions and/or advise is helpful. I enjoyed this project.
{attached is my poster]
Thanks,
Ryan LaBar
Good job Ryan. You trump many an established designer I know.
-Guy in the zero six
 (Scott, Robert and myself at the Ring of Fire race in Occidental, 1998.
Note the babyless carage on the left. There may even have been a baby in that thing at some point.)
For years, Ive fielded queries as to what orange jumpsuits and bike racing have to do with one another, so today, Ill try and lay down the facts, as best as my sorely addled mind can recall them.
If you have a penchant for misspellings, and totally screwed up time lines, read on.
I believe it was the Sea Otter race in 1996 that Robert Ives and Scott Berg first presented me with my team colors. They had been employed by (a Northern California mountain bike manufacturer), and along with Sean Hunt, were their black sheep, flagship one speed team. Somewhere along the line, I got wrangled into the mayhem, and after me, in my absence at one of the Northern California Crusty Cup Single speed races, Gene Oberpriller was inducted into the ranks.
Our official unveiling was an entire weekend spent wearing our colors at the last Interbike trade show held in Anaheim, which as hard to believe as it is, was nearly a decade ago. While enroute to the show, we pulled over Robets beat up Volkswagen van somewhere near Magic Mountain to get gas. As the three of us piled out to load up on beef jerky, petrol, and beer, Johnny Law pulled in and sat to watch. What we didnt know at the time was there is a nearby jail, whose residents share the same taste in fashion as us. In the following 20 minutes, this fact became glaringly clear. Within minutes, more cops came on the scene, and as we pulled out of the parking lot, the early morning sky became ablaze with red and blue flashing lights. If I remember correctly, guns were drawn, and the simple question of 'what the hell are you doing?' was asked of us. We sweet talked The Man into letting us go. 'We race bikes', we said. 'Tricycles?!' the mustachioed hero asked incredulously. 'No,.. bicycles. Were going to the bicycle trade show.' Figuring this was a bit too much for any escaped convict to muster in the heat of imminent capture, they returned the side arms to their holsters, and bid us a fond, although truly puzzled adieu.
You, dear reader might be familiar with the Swobo t-shirt featuring a slumped, orange jumpsuited figure with the phrase, 'Ever since youve been riding singlespeeds, your life has been on a crash course with self destruction.' Those words were begrudgingly uttered to Scott, Robert and Sean upon the termination of their employment from (a Northern California mountain bike manufacturer) after one particularly out of control Sea Otter, during which, Robert partook in the ingestion of a bit too much of everything, and fell into a near catatonic state in a lawnchair. What you dont see in the t-shirt however, is the big pile of vomit thats next to him, which Im sure we all appreciate.
The Amigos team in California took a slight break, while Geneo kept the home fires burning back in the mid West. At one point at the single speed worlds in 2000, a gentlemen asked me if the jumpsuits were some sort of Minneapolis thing. I knew at that point, it was time to get the heat turned back up, and start flying the freak flag once again in its Northern California home.
In the Amigos tenure, weve made alot of friends, spawned some imitators, inspired some like minded derylicts, created alot of ill will, and partook in a whole heaping helping of good hearted chaos. There has been everything from press, praising us for our commitment to maintaining a sence of humor and individuality in bike racing, to one particularly unpleasant instance of a young thick neck actually picking a fight with me during a mountain bike race, because he 'doesnt like punks'.
To those of you whove joined in along the way, I give my most heart felt thanks, and I look forward to many more years of hijinx, and to those whove gotten their panties in a bunch, I offer you this; in the immortal words of Ms. Stella Carey, 'orange jumpsuits may look stupid, but youre short, and I can take this thing off.'
Well, hell finally froze over. One of my very favorite idiots of all time is wondering off into the sunset to go be somebody elses problem. Former senator Rick Santorum, Ive had fun at your names expense for many years. Youll always be the bi-product of that which cannot be named, to me.
Bless you and your bionic supreme super awesomeness.
And to celebrate the goneness of the pig, (not to mention Rumsfelds departure), I just took a hot bath along side a few iced long necks, and a leftover bag of pistachios. Bummer life sucessfully avoided.
You know, for now anyway.
...And wait a minute.. Has that blubbering little girl dressed her doll to match own outfit?
Creepiness just reached new levels.
Did you know that it was today? I didnt untill Burned Heart came by the shop and told me to eat my tamales as fast as I could and get my show on the road. With Colina on our flanks, we made our way deep into the dark and loamy woods and with man cans in our bags, we had ourselves a little adventure.
Think of it as a dry run for what you all will get into tomorrow. In the middle of the day, hang up the phone, turn off the computer, slip on your bike shoes, and do something nice for yourself.
Its always been said that I generally have made a better hooligan then I did a bike racer. Heckling is in my blood.
Excel where you can, I guess.
Here is a family photo of my great grandfather Stephano (right) and my great, great uncle Antonio Seccare (left) yelling out
"commettere l'ultimo centesimo incompetente testa dura, zuccone!'
Which loosely translated means 'bet your bottom dollar, youre an incompetent fat-head.'
Id bet theres a dollar tucked away in those pantaloons too.
And here we have something way off point, yet very near and dear to my heart;
If you go out and vote, Ill personally bake you some cookies, or something. Please for the love of all thats good and pure, exercise your civic duty and vote, damn you. If not for me then for the memory of Great granddad Stephano. You know, hed want you to.
I've been commuting in SF for more than 10 years now and between the
ipods and wanna be pro roadies out there nobody says boo to anyone out
on the roads these days. Worse yet, no one responds to a healthy hello
or howzit when one is offered. Is there something so wrong with being
part of the human community or better yet the cycling community?
I love to ride my bike. It makes bad days at work disappear and puts me
in a great mood to go home and have fun with my family. I have met some
of the greatest people in my life through cycling but that involves
actually talking to them, interacting with them and getting to know
them. Riding in isolation sucks. Why not set up some rollers in a
basement and turn off the lights?
Take out the earphones, ride to the sounds of society. Hear what is
going on around you. Interact with the other individuals out there
choosing to ride a bike. What's to lose?
-Steve P.
Click right about....... HERE...for more info.
Friends whove returned from the SSWC in Stockholm have reported that bicycles are everywhere there. I myself was once yelled at by an old lady in Copenhagen for riding a skateboard along the bike path. Bicycles really do belong.
I dare to dream that perhaps one day America will realize a similar scenario in its own city centers, and while the curmudgeon known as Burned heart remains optimistic, Im not holding my breath.
Hey bro, loan me a dollar so I can go to 'Sev and play some Tron.
Im gonna totally dust the high score.
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