Yeah, its true. Not only am I a super mediocre blog master, but Im a pretty mediocre painter as well. But know this, the two other folks who are going to present at this here art installation, have talent to burn, and they both have cool names. Zefrey Throwell is a dirtbag biker who sometimes uses human blood in his paintings. Kristen Ferrell is a punk rock, redneck debutante who makes pictures that make children cry. And me? Im the red headed step child with lots of black hair on my arms. Ifin you find yourself in these neck of the woods on August 4th, come by, and help me prove to me dad that maybe all that art school he helped me pay for maybe wasnt such a waste after all.
From the bottom of my black heart, bless you.
Stevil

www.zefrey.com
www.kristenferrell.com
www.drunkingham.com

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Blurb: All week aron has been threatening a smack down at the tricycle races. We saw the flyer at Pops bar in San Francisco that said July fourth: Tricycle Race 6 pm. There were trikes provided. We were drunk. We were friends. But we didnt care. No friends on race day. "What are you eating for breakfast that day?" Aron would ask. The waittress got out a pen and paper. I mean mugged aron and said Country Breakfast. She wrote it down. As a smart ass remark, Aron ordered the Country. Breakfast. BITCH. and looked me in the eye but the waittress thought he was calling her a b and she got mad and split. We thought this was unfortunate but also funny the way it came out. Anyway in further preparation for the race, the following hours included beer, strategizing, and repeating the phrase country breakfast bitch like it was the only english we knew. It was used to greet other competitors, as a name for our trike race team, as a way to pick up girls, a threat at the finish line, as a greeting to cops, something to write on dusty car windows, something to say too many times for effect, and a way of life. Someone asks a two part question and aron would say country breakfast, give me the one-eye, I'd look at them and say BITCH. Anyway the race contestants were bracketed, i lost out in round three and Aron, high on innapropriate power, won. I fired bottle rockets at him later.

Editors note: B. Bradley is a teacher at an undisclosed San Francisco high school. He was an english major, and Americas future is in his hands. Since reading this, I dont sleep easily any longer.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 12:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 12:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Its like staring into the face of God.

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

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Retired professional single speeder, Big Steve P oversees Ben 'punk-ass kid' Jacques-Maynes off season training.

Having excelled in mountain biking, wiffleball, cyclocross, pinball, and road racing over the years, Ben Jacques-Maynes is one of the top up-and-coming talents in North American cycling, as well as all eclectic ball related sports. In 2004, Ben broke through with his first major stage race win at the Nature Valley Grand Prix in Minnesota, and upon crossing the finsh line he was heard to exclaim "wheres the foosball table?!"

Starting the 2006 season as Kodakgallery.com/Sierra Nevada's team leader at the Amgen Tour of California, Ben gambled on an early breakaway in stage 2, which finished just a few miles from his home in San Jose, and climbed comfortably over San Marcos Pass with an elite group in stage 5. He then took a leisurely post- victory ride home, where he slayed the neighborhood kids at a game of 'buttsup' or what is more commonly known as 'wall ball'.

Early in his career, aside from the worlds lawn bowling championship, Ben's greatest results came on the cyclocross circuit, where he won the U.S. title in the Under-23 division in 2000 and the U.S. collegiate title in 2002. He also snared a collegiate national title on the road, winning the criterium championship in 2003.

Ben credits a trip to Holland for the 2000 World Cyclocross Championships, home of the worlds largest pool table, for giving him "the impetus to train harder, dedicate my time, and rise into a national or even international level competitor. However" he continued, "without the direction from my mentor Steve P. in the fine art of croquet, or what I refer to as 'the final frontier of ball sports', and his tireless efforts therein, my career would be a shadow of what its become."

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 01:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Transcript of Press Conference
Tim Parr - Founder, Swobo
Sky Yaeger - New Managing Director, Swobo Street Bikes
"How To Avoid The Bummer Life" Exclusive Early Announcement

Transcript of Press Conference
Tim Parr - Founder, Swobo
Sky Yaeger - New managing director, Swobo Street Bikes
July 15th, 2006
San Francisco, California

TIM PARR: Thanks for joining us this morning; sorry about the Friday early morning thing but we just finished negotiations during midnight Power Hour. I have a short statement then we’ll open the floor to questions.

SKY YAEGER: (aside) I need another drink.

TIM PARR: Mike, can we get another round here, please…Thank you.

So, here we go…Starting in Spring of 2007, Swobo will be manufacturing and distributing bikes. And as you might imagine Swobo bikes won’t be just any bikes. We will be injecting the same performance design vibe that guides our apparel designs into our bike designs. We at Swobo have a vision of what our bikes will be…we want a bike that will create a quantum shift in the way that young, urban dwellers think of bikes. Throwing your leg over a bike has got to be made “cool”…for a lack of any better word.

SKY YAEGER: Use that business speak we talked about…

TIM PARR: …and we believe these bikes will address a marketplace that is not currently being served, the kind of contemporary urban, non-bike buying market…guys and girls that…well…know style when they see it. How’s that? It all seemed so clear a little bit ago, in my head.

Let’s just say that what we try to do with apparel we’re going to do all over again with bikes: We want to make the bicycle an article of personal expression….like clothes are.

And while I’m feeling confident in Swobo’s abilities to take a vision and turn it into a unique piece of apparel, we don’t know shit about designing bikes. So, in order for us to successfully realize our visions, we have hired the best person available to guide our bike efforts: Sky Yaeger.
-more-
SKY YAEGER: Holy Shit, unbelievable…where’s that martini?

TIM PARR: Many of you are familiar with Sky’s exploits from her years guiding Bianchi North America’s product development. Probably more than anybody, Sky has designed unique urban bikes that have not fit the typical bike industry mold. So, now, officially…I’m pleased to introduce Swobo’s new managing director of Swobo bikes: Sky Yaeger…

SKY YAEGER: Umm…thanks, Tim. Not sure what to say…when do we get an office, you said I’d get a desk.

TIM PARR: Working on it… Let’s turn it around to Q & A. If we could get the lights up that would help…just raise your hand if you're in the audience, and we'll take questions. These lights are like blinding. We actually can't see a thing up here. If you could just state where you're from and your name, that would be great.

SKY YAEGER: Yeah, who are you?

TIM PARR: Okay, Steve? Let's get a mike to Steve down here.

QUESTION: Hey, Tim. Steve Tobin, San Fran Business Times, thanks for the beer. You say that you hope to address an untapped market. Your current distribution channels are somewhat traditional which would appear to be a limiting factor. What are your plans for expanded distribution and who will lead that effort?

TIM PARR: Ahhh…yeah, Sky?

SKY YAEGER: That’s a good question, Steve. To launch the concept, we will work with select retail partners that we consider solid IBD’s with the right mix of customers, as well as incorporate a pretty aggressive online sales model. We hope to initially seed the products and brand through these controlled channels and then expand from there.

QUESTION: Hi, Josh Robin, CoolHunting.com. The market you describe sounds kind of Paul Frank-ish…

TIM PARR: The bikes will be more technical and performance-oriented than the beach cruisers. Think tech, urban, bike, skateboard, cocktails, iPod…Ron Burgundy.

QUESTION: Thanks. Tom Hines, SF Weekly. With both you and Sky being San Fran area residents so long, will these bikes be NorCal specific? Meaning, will they primarily appeal to people in and around San Fran?

TIM PARR: Well, no and yes…how to put this…San Francisco has a long-running and sometimes not-so-serious love affair with the bicycle, both Sky and I have been fortunate to be part of that and that gives us unique perspective as we design the bikes. Just as a bike builder from New England pulls from his or her heritage, consciously or subconsciously, when they design a bike, we expect to have our heritage influence our designs. And, we think that is a good thing. San Francisco is cool, fun, loose…but we also have an appreciation of the finer, more simple things in life, like bicycles.

SKY YAEGER: Good answer… ok, Hurl.

QUESTION: Hi kids, Hurl Everstone, CarsRCoffins.com. Will it perhaps have only one speed?

SKY YAEGER: Don’t know…next.

QUESTION: Hello, Tim Grahl, twentynineinches.com. How about a 29-er…

SKY YAEGER: Perhaps, but we’d call it a 700c…next question.

QUESTION: Hi. Bob Bryant, Recumbent Cyclist News…

SKY YAEGER: Jesus Christ, people…ok, look we’ll do a recumbent, single speed, 29 incher, plus it will work like one of those Trikke scooter things…with Bio Pace.

TIM PARR: What Sky is trying to say is that…is that Swobo street bikes will be driven by design. We see an opportunity to take bikes into what some would consider a more mainstream market, and we’re going to do it from a different angle, a different tact than has been taken before. We don’t know what it will look like, yet. But we know how to find out.

QUESTION: Hi, Dave House, H3 Publications. How do you plan on advertising?

SKY YAEGER: How’d you get in here? No, seriously…next.

QUESTION: Good Evening, Dan Rather, CBS…uh, freelance journalist. Thanks for the beer. Are you making this up?

TIM PARR: Good question, Dan. Yes, everything except for the part about Swobo bikes and Sky Yaeger.

XXX

Posted by Tim Parr at 12:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

Barry, Neil, and Todd prepare for the battle.

So heres the scoop, I couldnt make last weeks ride, and since Im the keeper of the course flags, folks who showed, just ended up drinking beer, and rolling around in the dirt. So this week, it had to be something extra special, and believe me, something extra special is what our competetors were treated to. The flagship aspect to this race is the back and fourth race configuration. Meaning that when you cross the start/ finish line, you have to complete a task, and then sprint off in the opposite direction, narowly avoiding the halpless folks still making heir way to the line. Yesterday, the race started with a slammed can of beer, lemans style start, and mad-hectic mass sprint. Once around the course, the contender has to slam another beer, and pick up a bb rifle (yeah, beer and fire arms..It really is all fun and games till someone looses an eye) and test their marksman skills, shooting cans set up at a 25 pace distance. You have to shoot till you hit a can, and then remount your bike, rocketing off in the direction from which you just came. This happened a total of 3 times. 3 laps, 3 beers and 2 shots. Shots from the rifles that is. As exciting as the competition is, the real action always starts during the near-dark descent back into town.
This week, Splitting the gap between Kirk and Willie in a frenzied sprint, the Bob trailor zigged when I zagged, and completely took out at least 9 spokes from Kirks front wheel. Sorry Kirk. The orange jumpsuit made its reapperance in the realm of competetion for the first time in nearly 5 years, and we all were laughing maniacally as we hurtled through the darkness, and what could have very well be all of our ultimate demise. Remember, Twin Gates, Santa Cruz, Wednesday, 6:00. GO!

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 04:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

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spot the swobo sticker, win a date with stevil.

that's right folks, if you can spot the swobo sticker and explain exactly where it is,
stevil kinevil himself will treat you to an all expense paid date for two to the
modesto fairgrounds food court, a ride to inspiration point in fresno and a
couple of passes to the windsor waterworks fun slides™. get crackin.

Posted by at 03:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

One of our operatives in the Southland sent us the following two images. The first is simply the cover of the new Trek womens specific catalog..

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 02:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

..And heres an ad in said catalog. Im seeing a vaccum cleaner here, right?..Classy..

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 02:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

This here is a picture of Skys Eighty year old mother. Sky says shes been doing this every Easter since she was a kid. She also said, "this probably explains alot about me."
Now that I have that little gem out of my inbox, and off of my chest, Im gonna put on some clean clothes, ( a little something special I like to do for myself on Thursdays) and peddle my bad self to work. I hope you all are having a good day.
By the way, why dont you call your moms today, and tell her that you love her?
You know, just because?

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 02:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

good morning, starshine.

Posted by at 05:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

'Cross and mountain bike racing star Barry Wicks shares a meal with his young doppleganger, Ethan.

You know, when it comes right down to it, Im a fairly crappy writer. Bear with me through this piece, cause in my head, its a cool story. Well see how it translates to the ends of my index fingers. Did you know there was a high school mountain bike league? Its true, just like football, or basketball, only with less funding. Matt Fritzinger was teaching math at Berkeley High when he thought 'why not put a school cycling team together?' This went from a single team to an entire league,whos race season runs from Febuary to May. Then, the top finishers from the race season are invited to the NORBA Jr. development camp, (more on that in just a second) where the cyclists compete in everything from a road time trial, to a mini, individually timed cross country event, then lastly, the top finishers from that camp are invited to the Olympic training camp in Colorado Springs, with kids from the Eastern division leagues. Well, Matts retired from teaching, and is now the league director, and Id imagine is living in one of many luxurious villas around the world, but recently showed up to Santa Cruz with coaches Austin McInerny, and Nadine Wolf Budbill (who easily has the best name of the bunch) and invited me to wrench for the development camp. We all had a blast, and the whole experience makes me hopeful for the future of American cycling- competetively, and culturally. Infact during an evening meeting one night, we were going over what the kids goals were as far as what theyd listed on a pre- camp questionare, and they ranged from 'to compete in the 2012 Olympic games', to simply 'wanting to ride a bike for my entire life' Thats pretty cool.
Kona Bicycles pro cyclist Barry Wicks came by, rode with the kids, and told them about what it was like to make a living on a bike, coaches Budbill, McInerny, and Fritzinger imparted wisdom ranging from handeling skills to training techniques, and from trail etiquette to good dietary habbits, and I showed the kids its possible to be a total dirtbag, and still ride a bike pretty good. Speaking of which, our camp was sitiuated right in the middle of a nationally attended cheerleading camp. Seriously.
If you want to find out a bit more about the league, cause Ive presented a fairly half assed explanation, please take a trip by their website.

www.norcalmtb.org

You know, do it for the kids

Posted by Stevil Kinevil at 05:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)